Will try and shorten the story, and it still make sense.
For a while now my friends have been talking about going to Las Vegas in June. So on April 6th I get an email with all the details that she sent a a group of people (she is a new friend of almost a year, so her friends and sister and so on) It was her a friend of hers and myself who first talked about the trip.
So today I was going to book my flight and hotel on expedia and send her an email to double check flight numbers (she and the friend of hers who I also know now have already booked). And I get this email back:
"Hey, we were thinking that it's great you want to come, but you should probably save any money you have (or have coming in) until you get another job.
There will be other trips that may be better timed for you."
What is your take on that?
Mine is that they are trying to un-invite me. I knew they had talked about the trip before I came along, but it was also the friend of my friend who invited me and my friend sent me all the info. I think that the people who they had invited couldn't make it and liked the idea of just the 2 of them going. They didn't think I was going to make it cause of money and when I started asking about details they started talking about how they could un-invite me.
I haven't got a response back yet to my response to the above.
__________________ Sometimes it's hard to walk in a single woman's shoes
So sometimes we need some special ones to make it a little easier
I would say : " Oh hehe , thats sooo funny , Actually it was me and Judy ( insert name ) that talked about this. I already booked . See you on the trip ! "
LOL
__________________
"how do you gently break up with someone???..
Thats like saying how do I gently drive a monster truck through a china/glass/crystal shop.
__________________
Yeah. I had to ask "What's up with that?" too. While I think there is something more insidious going on. But, I am still taken back by what they mean about your financial situation. How do they know what you can afford to do and not? And why are they even trying to put you down like that? Is this kind of behavior something that just started or has it been going on for a while? And if so, why are you putting up with that?
I think they are trying to un-invite you, while I don't know you, but the only time friends will do that is if they don't want you hindering their "fun".
I would definitely have a word with them. Find out what is going on. Why they are trying to talk me out of going. And then, if you still are going (and I hope you are), find out how you guys are going to arrange things.
I don't know if I want to spend the money now if I won't enjoy myself like I would have before. Kinda glad I asked because I was about to book it, but decided to confirm first.
This is her response today:
"We are just concerned is all. I know what it's like to be tight on cash.
On top of flight & hotel, you'll need to have $1500 for food, drinks, admission to shows/clubs and any shopping or gambling you want to do. That's all. 1 week is not going to be cheep "
I was offended by the finance remark, not sure how to take it. On one hand I think that's my problem, not yours to worry about. Then wonder if that's something a girlfriend would be concerned about? And my figures give me $1000 for these things, but as I said that's my problem. (they know I recently resigned from my job, but know nothing else about my finances.
They say that's all but my gut tells me otherwise. It was all talk about the trip, even last weekend when she was over here. Then I ask for confirmation of the flight number and they are concerned? I still feel that no one else could make it and they started to like the idea of just going the 2 of them, since they were friends before I came along.
I think everyone is being a bit hypersensitive to their sincere, if misguided, attempts to keep you from digging yourself into a hole. If you want to blow your money on a trip to Vegas, that's fantastic, but you're still going to have people (friends, family, lovers) who know that it might hurt your your pocket book and who are just looking out for you that way.
swallow your suspicions and thank them for being concerned, but you very much are looking forward to this vacation because it's something you've been wanting to do/really, really need at this point/don't want to miss out on because of the camaraderie.
of course, I could be completely wrong, but I've been on the giving AND receiving end of such conversations and they've always have been out of concern for someone's situation at the time.
__________________ "Walking in the Lord's footsteps, our own lives become a journey of hope." – Pope Benedict XVI
I don't know if I want to spend the money now if I won't enjoy myself like I would have before. Kinda glad I asked because I was about to book it, but decided to confirm first.
This is her response today:
"We are just concerned is all. I know what it's like to be tight on cash.
On top of flight & hotel, you'll need to have $1500 for food, drinks, admission to shows/clubs and any shopping or gambling you want to do. That's all. 1 week is not going to be cheep "
I was offended by the finance remark, not sure how to take it. On one hand I think that's my problem, not yours to worry about. Then wonder if that's something a girlfriend would be concerned about? And my figures give me $1000 for these things, but as I said that's my problem. (they know I recently resigned from my job, but know nothing else about my finances.
They say that's all but my gut tells me otherwise. It was all talk about the trip, even last weekend when she was over here. Then I ask for confirmation of the flight number and they are concerned? I still feel that no one else could make it and they started to like the idea of just going the 2 of them, since they were friends before I came along.
How long have you collectively known these girls ? The one thats being rude , the one that wanted you to go to Vegas and the rest of them ? How long have they known eachother ?
How long have you collectively known these girls ? The one thats being rude , the one that wanted you to go to Vegas and the rest of them ? How long have they known eachother ?
I met Ashley approx 10 months ago, she is the one who sent the email. I met the other girl (Sabrina) threw Ashley about a month after I met Ashley.
In January when we got together (3 of us and one other guy) Sabrina talked about going to Vegas and said to Ashley and I that we should come too. Talked about it here and there but no definite plans. Then at the beginning of April Ashley sent out the email to a large group for the invite on the trip. Talk about it was a go and said nothing to me like this until the day I said I was going to book it. (there was a period I wasn't sure, but my tax refund help to make up my mind) Then I tell them I am going to book the flight and hotel and all of a sudden they are concerned.
I also can't help being annoyed, they are a few years younger than me (I'm 30, Ashley is 26, Sabrina is 23) and normally we don't notice an age difference and I look 24 anyway. But why I am annoyed is because I am older and know how to take care of myself and don't need younger girls telling me what they think I should do financially.
I met Ashley approx 10 months ago, she is the one who sent the email. I met the other girl (Sabrina) threw Ashley about a month after I met Ashley.
In January when we got together (3 of us and one other guy) Sabrina talked about going to Vegas and said to Ashley and I that we should come too. Talked about it here and there but no definite plans. Then at the beginning of April Ashley sent out the email to a large group for the invite on the trip. Talk about it was a go and said nothing to me like this until the day I said I was going to book it. (there was a period I wasn't sure, but my tax refund help to make up my mind) Then I tell them I am going to book the flight and hotel and all of a sudden they are concerned.
I also can't help being annoyed, they are a few years younger than me (I'm 30, Ashley is 26, Sabrina is 23) and normally we don't notice an age difference and I look 24 anyway. But why I am annoyed is because I am older and know how to take care of myself and don't need younger girls telling me what they think I should do financially.
I * get it * now. Ashley liked you and you developed a friendship. Sabrina enters the picture one month later.
Sabrina mentions the vegas trip in January , she Sabrina ~ liking Ashley invites her to come along , you happen to be sitting next to Ashley and all is cool ( or so it seems ).
Sabrina never wanted you along.
As evidence it was not discussed with you and likely Sabrina told Ashley she did not want you to go. Ashley did not want to hurt your feelings and hoped Sabrina would change her mind.
You then received the letter .
My advice would be to not go to vegas with them and take a seperate trip with Ashley somewhere else. Its pretty obvious you are not welcome by Sabrina and you would feel that on the trip.
Sabrina and Ashley were friends before I met Ashley, in January Sabrina invited us both to come at the same time. Though I do know it was something they have talked about now and then for a while. I met Ashley, then met Sabrina later on when Ashley told her to come along when were were going out to a club.
Sabrina could have asked Ashley any time to go with her, didn't have to be when I was there. Then they asked a whole group of girls.
My gut tells me that they didn't think I could make it, along with everyone else on the invite list and thought it would be nice for just the 2 of them. Liked the idea but then here comes me again talking about booking my tickets. Who knows but that's what my gut says.
Last edited by sweetbutcheeky; 26th April 2008 at 2:02 AM.
Sabrina and Ashley were friends before I met Ashley, in January Sabrina invited us both to come at the same time. Though I do know it was something they have talked about now and then for a while. I met Ashley, then met Sabrina later on when Ashley told her to come along when were were going out to a club.
Sabrina could have asked Ashley any time to go with her, didn't have to be when I was there. Then they asked a whole group of girls.
I totally understand that Ashley and Sabrina were friends prior. I am thinking this is the plausable answer because everyone is talking about vegas , Sabrina looks over at you two , asks if you want to come along , but in reality Sabrina wanted Ashley to go and did not want you to go.
Not trying to hurt your feelings. I take it you really like Ashley ? I think Ashley likes you too. I don't think Sabrina likes you as much.
I totally understand that Ashley and Sabrina were friends prior. I am thinking this is the plausable answer because everyone is talking about vegas , Sabrina looks over at you two , asks if you want to come along , but in reality Sabrina wanted Ashley to go and did not want you to go.
Not trying to hurt your feelings. I take it you really like Ashley ? I think Ashley likes you too. I don't think Sabrina likes you as much.
I don't get that vibe from Sabrina though, I don't know her well just when I have been out with her and Ashley. Ashley and I have done stuff alone but I haven't gone out alone with Sabrina other than her offering to drive me home one or twice.
Sabrina didn't have to ask us then, she could have asked Ashley alone. Plus it was an open invite to anyone who wanted to come, that's what we talked about and what the email was about. Anyone that wanted to come was welcome.
I don't get that vibe from Sabrina though, I don't know her well just when I have been out with her and Ashley. Ashley and I have done stuff alone but I haven't gone out alone with Sabrina other than her offering to drive me home one or twice.
Sabrina didn't have to ask us then, she could have asked Ashley alone. Plus it was an open invite to anyone who wanted to come, that's what we talked about and what the email was about. Anyone that wanted to come was welcome.
What do you think was the real reason ? Would talking to Ashley or Sabrina privately help at all ?
Seeing a show in Vegas can be costly. Same goes for drinks and food. Is it possible it's a combination of wondering if you'll slow down the fun due to your financial situation or feeling guilty about making you spend the money?
Either way, wouldn't it be more practical to wait until you're employed again?
__________________ Get busy living or get busy dying!
Seeing a show in Vegas can be costly. Same goes for drinks and food. Is it possible it's a combination of wondering if you'll slow down the fun due to your financial situation or feeling guilty about making you spend the money?
Either way, wouldn't it be more practical to wait until you're employed again?
I can give you a breakdown : Drinks $10.00-15.00 per drink Nightclubs
Shows $90.00-150.00
Food $15-30.00 a meal
Nightclub Entrance $ 20-30.00
Gambling $100-500.00 ( week )
Room $ 120-350.00 a night
Plane $ 100-700.00
Rental Car $30-50 a day
Souveniers $ 50-100 ( all )
Taxi $ $ 3.50 per mile
Limo $ 80-100 an hour
Miscl. snacks and essentials $ 100
How much does that add up to ....
I think your figure of $ 1000.00 is pretty close. Someone please add this up I'm tired , lol....
I can give you a breakdown : Drinks $10.00-15.00 per drink Nightclubs
Shows $90.00-150.00
Food $15-30.00 a meal
Nightclub Entrance $ 20-30.00
Gambling $100-500.00 ( week )
Room $ 120-350.00 a night
Plane $ 100-700.00
Rental Car $30-50 a day
Souveniers $ 50-100 ( all )
Taxi $ $ 3.50 per mile
Limo $ 80-100 an hour
Miscl. snacks and essentials $ 100
How much does that add up to ....
I think your figure of $ 1000.00 is pretty close. Someone please add this up I'm tired , lol....
You're lowballing Mary3. I was just there last month and some of the points were more than your upper guestimates.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
I think that the people who they had invited couldn't make it and liked the idea of just the 2 of them going. They didn't think I was going to make it cause of money and when I started asking about details they started talking about how they could un-invite me.
noooooo wayyyy
how long ?
okay I get it...
Linear Mode
