Recently broke it off with my gf of 3 years, its been two weeks and I still feel like ****!! I didnt want to break up but she left me with no choice..
If any one wants to here the story leading up to the break up let me know lol it will take a while to write but will probably make me feel better in the long run.
Iv had no one to talk to latly, she was the one i used to talk to, she was my best friend, now we are nothing!! Being a guy you cant really talk to your mates lol they would probably just laugh at me or say somthing dumb like go get laid..
Iv been reading other peoples posts and im reading stories just like mine its amazing, just makes me feel a little better.
Iv been trying the no contact thing but it hasnt worked well, we went out for coffee and lunch the other day ended up hooking up with her.. not good.. text her last night and told her how she had hurt me from doing what she was doing she just said ok good night.. im leaving for overseas next month so i said come say good by tomorow and she said how you exspect me to when you just said that.... so i said i guess this is it, good by... I just want to forget her..
One of the added reasons to the break up was another guy hanging round an "old friend" decides to show up.. now we are broking up she is hanging out with him more and more...
i dont think im jelous?? but it hurts so much to know that i was right and somthing was going on..
Where is the magic pill to take the pain away ???
I'd just love to hear from some people... anyone..
You are not alone olympic. A lot of people are in your shoes. I actually had some pretty negative feelings yesterday. It hurt very much. All you can do is take it and deal with it.
You are right. Hooking up with her was not a good idea. Did you have any regrets afterward? If you are like a normal broken up couple, I'd say that you did have some regrets. But it's not too late. You can still continue to not contact her at all, and just move on.
You'll hear this time and time again, but you need to keep your mind occupied with something other than her and the relationship. Write down all the things they could be. Some examples are writing, sports, exercising, photography, just about anything, sir.
I was fortunate to find this site also, and am grateful because it the people have helped immensely. Sharing experiences, advice, stories, and wisdom in a forum like this is invaluable.
this site has been a godsend to me as well. I wasn't doing real well, even though I knew how to handle it. Listening to all of you has been great. I've also gotten some great therapy from giving you guys advice based on my own life experiences, which makes it easier for me to follow through with said advice on my own...
nc is so hard, i wanted to text her today...but didn't. Instead......i got me a date on friday night.
Yea this site was great for me too, I needed to vent out my situation and got to, with some great feedback. Luckily I have been working a lot so haven't had time to really think about my situation, but I am sure it will hit me when we slow down.
Thanks for your quick replies guys!! Its good to hear people are feeling the same way as me and im not alone..
I will tell the story. ( i hope its not hard to read i wrote it in word and it has come out all funny!!!
We have both finished high school last year, she is very bright and had decided to go to Uni down south. This meant we would have a long distance relationship, I thought this girl was the one.. I love her will all my heart and would of died for her.
This year was a 3rd year together, like any relationship we had ups and downs but more ups. We had made a promise to each other to keep in touch and stay true to each other before she left. People always told me, long distance relationships don’t work.. I said bull**** to that, i thought we were stronger than superman.
Now she is staying in a hall meeting heaps of new people, the second week she is there was her birthday (turning 18, legally go out to clubs ect..) I came down to see her that weekend to go out with her and wish her happy birthday.. While I was there i overheard a conversation with her and some guy about her and some other guy, he was asking what happened between them.. i was like WTF. Latter on i asked her about this and she said it was nothing to worry about that she only loved me and it was just a dance with some guy.. At the end of the week I had to go home. When I was back home I got a text saying she felt the spark was gone and that I didn’t treat her like a princess, I was ripped and said i would change and we would work on the relationship. That week went by smoothly until Friday night. I was going out with the boys when she called me, one of my mates yelled somthing over the phone ( a personal joke between our group ) she took it all seriously and got all upset and hanged up. She told me she wasn’t angry at my and that it was my friend.. The whole night i was trying to make her feel better but she wouldn’t even reply to me.
After a night of drinking i got home and fell asleep, in the morning i woke to a text from My gf off someone elses phone saying “Nick its over i cant stand you not sticking up for me” I was ripped and didn’t understand it. I rang her and tryed to sought it out, she told me that there may still be a chance for us to start over, I was thinking but what have i even done wrong.. Then about two hours latter i got a text from her saying “Nick i don’t know how to say this but i hooked up with someone last night” Thats when my heart broke in two.. I know its only a hook up but thats three years of loving each other and respect and trust just flushed down the loo.. I used to trust her 200% now i have none at all for her.. and what made it even worse was that the guy she hooked up with was the guy she had said was no one and was just a dance!!
I was heartbroken and didn’t want to talk to her, i talked to my sister and she gave me advice to give her a chance. I loved this girl so much that I gave her that chance, i told her she would have to earn my trust back and she completely excepted that and said she would try everyday for the rest of our lives.. She wanted to make it up to me everyday single day she said.. So we got back together, she had that weekend off so she came up to see her family and me.. The weekend was good with her, she took me out for tea and we had a good time, before she left i noticed an “old friend” (a male) had started texting her i took it as nothing and thought just an old friend catching up.. She went back down to uni.
That weekend she told me her old friend was coming down to see her because he had business down there apparently... The weekend he came down she was texting me all fine like normal until Saturday afternoon, she just stopped texting no replies or anything, I didn’t hear from her until the next morning.. I told her how worried i was about her . She just didn’t seem to care.. Things were a bit rocky for the day until i got to talk to her properly on Monday i told her she was supposed to be earning my trust back and that by not contacting me and letting me no she was ok was not the way to go about it.. ( also that Saturday night she had gone out partying with her old friend until 6 am)
She excepted what i said and told me it wouldn’t happen again.. then that week she started the no text thing, she would text but not very often and only when i text her.. Her texts were short and blunt.. When i told her i loved her she said “you too” things like that.. The whole week i was distressed and depressed from not knowing what was going on, so many questions were going through my head, was she seeing someone else? Does she still want to be with me ? That weekend i was supposed to be going down to see her, but she told me not because she had a big test on Saturday and needed space.. The Friday was our anniversary.. i thought she would be studying all night... instead her old friend ended coming down for business again and taking her out for tea!!!
The Saturday i tried to talk to her about it but she said not now.. then after her test i had to text her to find out how it went (back in the day she would always tell me how things went ect..) i told her don’t you even have time for your boyfriend anymore... She didn’t text back at all..
I had no idea what was happening but my heart was being stomped on.. Sunday morning i rang her told her how i felt she didn’t even seem that worried or upset..so i broke up with her...
I didn’t want to do it and she could have stopped me .. part of me still wishes she would just come over one night telling me how much she loves me and will change and everything will be back to normal.. but that will never happen..
Afterwards she emailed me saying she was sorry ect .. she started texting me and talking to me more.. I’m asking why the **** does it take me to break up with you for you to talk to me??? She cant answer it properly.. ( she also went out that Saturday night with her old friend again!! )
I had questions swarming my mind was she cheating on me is she telling the truth how do i know i cant trust her ??
She has been home for the last week because of a uni break.. its been horrible.. There are lots of small details that i have probably missed here..
I know she was studying hard and meeting new people she would still have time to let me know what was up and how she was .. i never got them ... and i couldn’t take the pain anymore.. shes also been hanging with her old friend while shes been back.. iv been trying not to talk to her.. not that she texts or calls me anymore anyway..
So im now trying to heal my broken heart.. if anyone wants to know any other details feel free to ask..
I do feel a bit better about writing this.. I apologize for all the grammar mistakes..
Let me know what your guys think..
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 27th April 2008 at 4:39 AM.
buddy, she left for the university,and found someone else. now she's just tring to string you along and try to blame you.you're better off w/o her,as hard as it is.
we just had a fight over msn.. about everything she was trying to put blame on me !! and the truth was comin out.. the friendships pretty much over.. i want to die... whats the quickest painless way?? can i overdose on panadol ??
I tryed but i guess it takes more than the recommend dossage, i even topped it off with a full night of drinking.. I feel absoulutly like nothing no one..
How do i get over her being with other people ?
how do i get over that she was the only good thing in my life ?
how do i get over that we are no longer even friends ?
Is there anyone in my shoes as well who has msn and wants to talk id love to hear from them.. and if anyone can help answer my questions?
I tryed but i guess it takes more than the recommend dossage, i even topped it off with a full night of drinking.. I feel absoulutly like nothing no one..
How do i get over her being with other people ?
how do i get over that she was the only good thing in my life ?
how do i get over that we are no longer even friends ?
Is there anyone in my shoes as well who has msn and wants to talk id love to hear from them.. and if anyone can help answer my questions?
SOS
I don't know how to get over her being with other people. I'm coming to terms with that one myself.
I do know you can probably make a list of 10 things better in life than being the fool who loves a cheating whore.
You don't want to be friends with her brother, she committed the unforgivable, why would you want a friend like that?
First thing, you have a right to be angry, shocked, humiliated, confused. You're blaming yourself, but she did it. Why give her the satisfaction of knowing she's tearing you up?
Thanks man that kind of helped. I just read that letter you wrote, it sounded good really well written.
Thing is now she thinks that i was to blame pretty much, im sure we both had our own contribuation to it but in the end she is what caussed me to do it. lol its crazy!! Just feel so alone .. How do i stop the aloness, i feel like i should go get out and do somthing but i dont feel upto it at all??
Also somthing im scared of is turning into the person i was before i meet her.. I was pretty unstable, depressed, got angrry alot... i dont want that
Last edited by olympic; 24th April 2008 at 5:16 PM.
You really shouldn't be taking meds like that and drinking. Is there anyone you can talk too ( your family, friends that are around). We here at loveshack certainly want to help you but am I concerned that you should seriously consider seeking counseling.
I hope that you are doing better now. Whenever you feel that way, call someone, talk to someone, get on here and post.
Thanks man that kind of helped. I just read that letter you wrote, it sounded good really well written.
Thing is now she thinks that i was to blame pretty much, im sure we both had our own contribuation to it but in the end she is what caussed me to do it. lol its crazy!! Just feel so alone .. How do i stop the aloness, i feel like i should go get out and do somthing but i dont feel upto it at all??
Also somthing im scared of is turning into the person i was before i meet her.. I was pretty unstable, depressed, got angrry alot... i dont want that
of course its your fault. Apperently it was my fault too. i was emotionally unavailable so she had to knock boots with a guy who was..lol.
She's blaming you to help put her own guilt to rest.
You've made the first step in not being the old you. You know you don't want to. I have been intentionally staying away from my after work beer and stuff the past couple weeks so I don't become dependent on it in a time of stress.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
So glad iv found this site!!!
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