[Quest2find]

Have any other wives caught their husband using prostitutes? How did you find out? Did you confront your cheating husband?

[dagda1]

I have known a lady in that boat. She eventually ended up staying with the jerk. We were talking about our SO's and I was telling her about being looked upon as the personification of all evil by my wife. To which this young lady (a very pretty engineer I worked with) said "At least you don't go out with hookers in the evening!"

I didn't know what to say. We talked for a little more but she never brought it up again. She stayed with him but I could tell she was incredibly hurt. I can't see doing that to someone you love, ever. Made me sick to think of her being hurt like that.

Hope this starts the discussion going...

Tom

[Quest2find]

Thanks Tom,

It seems alot of women are NOT willing to talk about this one? With it being in the news over and over with famous men being outed.......this happens so much more in everyday life then wives even know about. Now with the internet just "pick and click" it is so much easier to do. I think more wives need to be informed so they don't waste years with a man who really doesn't care about them or their family. Because the cheating husband with hookers is hurting his family just as much as his wife.

That is what is sad to be lied to year after year and not having a clue that your husband is even doing this behavior behind the back of the women they married.

To find out your husband goes to hookers during his lunch hour or before he comes home to eat dinner with the family is the lowest thing a man can do to a wife. Not to mention he doesn't even bother to take a shower after being with one.

Not to mention the STD's that he is putting his wife endanger of. If a husband would know the hurt and pain that will happen to the one he vowed to love.....if he only knew how it will ruin any love they had between them........I wish they would just think about what it would do to her. If a husband wants to pay hookers for sex then get a divorce first then use all the hookers he wants.

Once they found out or get caught and the will get caught in a matter of time they will never be able to claim the love they let go for a $275.00 per hour pay for se appointment. With no feelings between them and know how pathetic it is to have to pay someone to do it.

They can't work on a relationship enough to have someone really love and want to be with them. They have to find someone that maybe has been with hundreds of men just for the money.

I hope some women will find this thread on talk about their feelings of betrayal here. Thanks for giving it a start.

[electric_sheep]

Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound like an excuse, but a lot of these guys going to see hookers have sex addiction issues (not so much the frat boy who does it once, but the 30/40ish married guy in the suburbs who goes twice a week, definitely). Particularly the politicians. I mean, it's the very definition of psychological addiction... engaging in a behavior repeatedly despite serious consequences.

It's all pretty much the same thing, whether it's drinking yourself to stupidity every night, gambling, smoking, or eating yourself to obesity. Basically, people can become addicted to anything that feels good, and some things that don't, and there is no doubt that sex certainly feels good.

It's not popular to be sympathetic to a cheating husband or wife I realize, or anyone with addiction issues, but I try not to be judgmental. I'm not a Christian, but they have some good ideas... "let he without sin throw the first stone", for example.

Being sympathetic is one thing, but staying in a relationship with anyone with any kind of addiction issues is going to be hard, and I don't think I'd be up to the task. Particularly when you consider just how difficult it is to shake an addiction, whether it be physical (like methamphetamine) or psychological, like food or sex. The distinction between the two is fast disappearing anyway, as people find out more about the brain and how it restructures itself in response to repeated behaviors.

Anyway, not all of these guys visiting hookers are addicted... some of them are probably just asses.

[electric_sheep]

Sex addiction is definitely more prevalent among men, but some women have problems with it to.

It is just a cultural reality that a woman who wants to have sex outside of her marriage rarely has to pay for it. She will just have an extra martial affair. Women are the sexual gatekeepers in our society, for better or for worse. All they have to do is swing the gate open and someone will walk in. So, this kind of thing manifests itself in a different way with women.

[TCatherine]

I have a friend who caught her husband doing this. He was going to massage parlours. I believe she found out from credit card receipts. She then starting looking into it further, checking where his internet had been, etc. They split up. He had been sexually abused in the past, she found out afterwards. I believe he also had a sex addiction.

I can't imagine.. it must be a very disturbing and insulting discovery!