I am feeling extremely overwhelmed right now and i have no idea what to do about it.
There are so many things going on that I really cannot focus on one at a time and its making me really stressed out. I have this ugly feeling in my stomach and all i want to do is curled up in a ball.
I dont even know where to begin. I guess with my utter feeling of incompetence. I got in trouble at work a few weeks ago for slacking off. I wasnt feeling very motivated and I let the ball drop several times. As a result I got called to my boss office who talked to me about what had been happening. She listed a bunch of things i had been doing wrong and that i needed to fix. Even though i knew i was doing them even before she told me I still felt like I have no control on the things that I failed at.
She also told me she would be keeping an eye out for all these things, so since then i feel like im walking on eggshells. My job is not terribly difficult, as an admin assistant, and it makes me feel like I cant even do the simplest things without messing up. I feel very incompetent
This leds me to my fear of losing my job. Ive had 4 jobs counting this one since i graduated a year and a half ago. Ive quitted three of them bc one way or another I felt i couldnt stay on them. The first two i quit because i felt i was wasting my time. The third one i quit because I wasnt getting enough hours. Its like i cannot hold a job!
So thats the job front....to add extra pressure i just got an apartment for myself, and although it makes sense for me to move there, i feel guilty leaving my mom alone so I stay at my moms while the apartment is still empty. And now with the whole issue with work im wondering if getting the apartment was a good idea at all? yet at the same time i feel that if i dont do it now, i never will.
Another reason why i havent moved is because in three weeks Im taking the GRE exam so i can start grad school this fall. I need to get the test done by May 10 so that I can apply to the school i want to go by June 1. So im trying to study as much as I can, cramming as much infor as possible, going to GRE classes on sundays.
And then there's the whole issue with contraception. Ive was using a Birth control pill without estrogen but then it messed up my cycle so i changed to combined..which sent me to the hospital a few weeks ago (that same week i got in trouble at work). So since then ive been trying to use condoms plus Fertility Awareness Method....but it just seems so risky that Im so scared of getting pregnant. So now im thinking on going back to the mini pill. At least i wont be so anxious about that with it.
As you can see, too many things going on. Im exhausted, anxious and afraid. I really have no idea how to handle all this....please, anyone, give me ideas so I can stop feeling so overwhelmed please!!!!
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