I'm losing interest, how do you put the spark back in?
Ok, the title pretty much sums up the situation and I don't want to get into lengthy details. We've been together almost two years, but I've felt myself lose the "spark" and become less and less interested in pursuing the next level (which she makes VERY clear she wants to be marriage).
We have great communication, lots of laughs, our families get along, we have similar interests. She's more clingy than I would prefer since I'm extremely independent, but overall I can't point to something that would make me say "ah, that's it!" So what the heck is wrong with me?
I'm committed to trying to work this situation out, and I can't believe I'm the only one who's felt the loss of a spark. Any of you who have hit a rough spot for no apparent reason? What did you do to get things "back" to normal?
Ok, the title pretty much sums up the situation and I don't want to get into lengthy details. We've been together almost two years, but I've felt myself lose the "spark" and become less and less interested in pursuing the next level (which she makes VERY clear she wants to be marriage).
We have great communication, lots of laughs, our families get along, we have similar interests. She's more clingy than I would prefer since I'm extremely independent, but overall I can't point to something that would make me say "ah, that's it!" So what the heck is wrong with me?
I'm committed to trying to work this situation out, and I can't believe I'm the only one who's felt the loss of a spark. Any of you who have hit a rough spot for no apparent reason? What did you do to get things "back" to normal?
Well, every relationship loses it's "newness." You have to find things you have in common, keep the relationship exciting in other ways. If you have great communication then maybe you two could talk about it. I'm not meaning that you tell her you have lost interest in her, maybe just talk to her about how to rekindle the chemistry.
Just for clarification, what do you mean by loss of spark? Like in the bedroom? Or like you are actually falling out of love with her? Because thats a totally different story...
Also, you may want to post this in the dating forum since this is more of a dating issue..you might get more responses that way.
Thanks. You're right, although I thought this forum would elicit more "mature" responses. But after looking at the other posts I guess this area is more for AFTER you've already "proposed" -- not quite for someone like me who is considering it (and being pressured to do it), but needs to figure out this situation first.
The loss is all around -- I feel a definite loss of attraction, which is crazy because she is absolutely beautiful. I'm not really sure about the "falling out of love" thing, as sometimes I think true love is commitment to sticking it out.
Maybe I'm just not ready to get married, or she is not the right one. Maybe the pressure turned me off. I'm really not sure, which is why I was hoping to learn other's experiences.
Simple. Talk to her just like you've shared here. Listen. That means really listen. If you and she are not on the same page, be honest with her. The more time I spend in MC, the more I've come to understand that communicating one's perspective honestly and really listening are the cornerstones of a successful R or M.
Hey, don't forget to flirt once in awhile. My wife and I would do the dirty IM's while she's on the kitchen computer and I was on my laptop in the bedroom....since we met on the internet a decade ago, that's how we flirted back then too. Do what works for you.
Carhill's right again. I would only add that you should preface the discussion by saying that you are really committed to working this out and that you want to be with her. If you do that and then bring up your concerns and show a desire to work on the issues and improve the relationship, she'll be much more comfortable and open to the discussion.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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