In the past I havnt had a problem wiht my longterm boyfriend going to strip clubs. He allways has admired me for this, but he use to not go all the time. Just for special occasions. He has been about 10 times since october. He has this friend that is married and isnt happy in his relationship, so everytime him and my boyfriend goes out they go to the same stripclub. Now he is taking other single guy friends to the same stripclub. Last wednesday he went out with a friend to hava a "couple of beers" and ended up there. He didnt come home that night until 4:30 that morning. It is my understanding that they close at 2:00. He said that his friend went home with one of these girls. I am afraid to tell him that I find this behavior to be unacceptable because I feel like he would stop telling me that he went. All of his friends thinks he is crazy for being honest to me about this. My question is how much is too much and how should I draw the line.

[Tony T]

You boyfriend is being extremely disrepectful to you by going frequently to these clubs and abusing your kindness in allowing him to go at all.

You need to draw the line now. If he finds the need to go to these strip clubs for fulfillment, entertainment, or whatever, you've got a real problem. There's more that goes on than just men looking at women taking off their clothes. There's drugs, prostitution and lots of other things around these places.

I think special occasions such as bachelor parties and other get togethers for men now and then may be OK. Anything beyond that requires you to put your foot down.

If he insists on continuing to go often to these kinds of clubs and to stay out until the very late hours, you need to consider a boyfriend who is more decent, respectful and mature.

There are lots of other places your man can get together with his male friends.

[sparkle]

Maybe I'm missing something here but you said he's your longterm boyfriend and you're afraid to discuss something with him because of the way he'll react??

You also said that he only goes for special occasions, yet he's been 10 times in a little over 2 months?? That's about once a week. Again, maybe I'm missing something, but an average of once a week doesn't sound like any special occasion to me.

I don't mind guys I date talking to or hanging out with their female friends (fully clothed, of course) or even watching a few X-rated films here and there, but going to watch a bunch of naked ladies over 10 times in just a couple months is wayyyy more than I'd put up with.

I'd ask him to stop going completely or end the relationship. Maybe I'm old-fashioned because I feel that the only naked/half-naked body my boyfriend should be looking at in person should be MINE and mine ONLY. That is where I would draw the line.

If it's gotten unacceptable to you, then it's too much... period.

You've given him a inch, he's taken a mile. Very disrespectful on his part to take advantage of your nature like this... but he has. If you don't put your foot down now this behaviour will keep escalating further that it has already (maybe it has... who knows that he wasn't part of 'his friend taking a girl home', was he waiting in the car or something? Sounds suspect to me).

If you fear telling him it's unacceptable to you for him to go to stipclubs on this regular basis then he's not the guy for you. If you fear telling him it's unacceptable to you for him to go to stripclubs on this regular basis because he will lie and continue to do so then he's not the guy for you either.

What a real "gem" you have there, Carmon. I often find myself wondering why so many women put up with men like this. But on the other hand, I suppose they are doing the rest of the female population a great service by keeping them out of circulation --- or are they?

What would happen if your boyfriend went out to one of these strip-bars one night to find YOU shaking your naked bootie in front of his horny, drunk buddies. Your boyfriend should be shoving his money up YOUR ayas. After all, you're the one who's earned it!!

If it were me, he would have been out the door a l-o-n-g time ago. And my pride and self-respect would never allow me to breath a word of it to anyone lest they discover what an idiot I was in the first place! But my advice to you is to "KEEP HIM"...and spare some other desperate fool the misfortune of ever having to deal with him in the future.

In the past I havnt had a problem wiht my longterm boyfriend going to strip clubs. He allways has admired me for this, but he use to not go all the time. Just for special occasions. He has been about 10 times since october. He has this friend that is married and isnt happy in his relationship, so everytime him and my boyfriend goes out they go to the same stripclub. Now he is taking other single guy friends to the same stripclub. Last wednesday he went out with a friend to hava a "couple of beers" and ended up there. He didnt come home that night until 4:30 that morning. It is my understanding that they close at 2:00. He said that his friend went home with one of these girls. I am afraid to tell him that I find this behavior to be unacceptable because I feel like he would stop telling me that he went. All of his friends thinks he is crazy for being honest to me about this. My question is how much is too much and how should I draw the line.