Hi everyone! I am new here and just want to introduce myself. My username is derived from my air guitar alter-ego, and the name that I use when I enter my soap box derby races.
At any rate, I guess this one is for all the ladies at LS. I am really frustrated with women. I mean, how come I see such lovely women with guys that I would consider to be a jerk? I mean, those guys seem like such creeps. I try and be nice and befriend the woman that I want to attract, but I just end up getting the "Let's just be friends" schpiel. Then they end up dating the jerk.
I am looking for a woman's perspective. Do women really want a nice guy?
Well it's been a month now since I started dating this new guy. He is extremely nice, considerate, open minded, perfect gentleman. He's got a great smile, gorgeous eyes, is affectionate and caring. He is the perfect example of what a nice guy truly is. We come to spend our weekends together, and sometimes we do something during the week. He insists on paying for everything (although I try to let him let me treat, and I do things like make dinner for him, I like to feel as though I'm putting in something too). We're taking things slow as far as rushing into a relationship and having sex, but I now spend the weekend at his place. He lives in a city I'm going to be moving back to (there's an hour between us). He does sweet things like always stocks up on the soda or juice I like to drinks or he all of a sudden wants to take a trip to the store and asks me to pick up some snacks or food I'd like for the weekend (all things I don't ask him to do, he just does it on his own!). He's always coming up with things to do that he thinks I'll like. I feel very lucky to meet such a great guy!
I'm not complaining by any means on what I have, but I'm noticing that as things go on I feel less attracted to him. I normally end up dating the bad boy type guy, and get treated like ****. I want to move away from that, but it feels like when I meet a nice guy the attraction decreases.
I think part of the problem may be that I've gotten used to being treated like crap. 3 out of 4 of my serious relationships, the guys have been jerks. The one that wasn't I had the same problem with.
Have any of you experience this type of issue?
This is what I find confusing. Women say they want a nice guy, but then lose attraction after awhile. Any women out there care to shed some light on this conundrum? I am struggling with this at the moment. At some point, I might just feel like saying "Oh to heck with women anyway!"p>
There isn't anyway to rationalize what a woman says. What comes out of her mouth is usually the antithesis of what she truly means.
Instead, watch closely her body language. Women don't have the mental fortitude to lie from behind her teeth and with her external mechanism at the same time.
Hi everyone! I am new here and just want to introduce myself. My username is derived from my air guitar alter-ego, and the name that I use when I enter my soap box derby races.
At any rate, I guess this one is for all the ladies at LS. I am really frustrated with women. I mean, how come I see such lovely women with guys that I would consider to be a jerk? I mean, those guys seem like such creeps. I try and be nice and befriend the woman that I want to attract, but I just end up getting the "Let's just be friends" schpiel. Then they end up dating the jerk.
I am looking for a woman's perspective. Do women really want a nice guy?
I would think it depends on ones definition of nice. My definiton of a nice guy in a R is one who is respectful, honest, caring and committed. With that said this is the kind of Man I would prefer.
AP
__________________ "If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
I would think it depends on ones definition of nice. My definiton of a nice guy in a R is one who is respectful, honest, caring and committed. With that said this is the kind of Man I would prefer.
AP
I would say that your definition of a nice guy and my definition of a nice guy are the same. However, it's been my experience that women will eventually become bored with this type of mentality and will end up leaving me or cheating on me with some guy that I consider to be a jerk.
These types of guys are very unsavory to me. I mean, here I am, buying dinners, cards, chocolates, flowers, gifts for these women and treating them like queens. I mean, it works in the movies and on TV right? This is what I thought guys were supposed to do. Then they end up ***king the bad boy who doesn't seem to care at all for them.
Can someone please explain to me why women say one thing, but believe something else? The words are incongruent with the actions.
Re creating attraction, try not to introduce yourself with an explanation of how your name is derived from your air guitar and soapbox derby hobbies. Keep that lame stuff for later (my name is derived from a rubbish Marvel comics villain, haha).
As for these 'jerks and creeps' - what is so annoying about these guys, apart from they have the women you want? They say that a slut is a woman who has slept with everyone but you - similar;y, a 'jerk' is often just a guy who is more confident and successful with women than you.
Having said that, women are much more attracted to an exciting, charming 'jerk' than a 'hey! I'm such a nice guy, approve of me please' desperate sack of neediness. Quit trying to score points off women by being 'nice.' Concentrate on being fun.
I would say that your definition of a nice guy and my definition of a nice guy are the same. However, it's been my experience that women will eventually become bored with this type of mentality and will end up leaving me or cheating on me with some guy that I consider to be a jerk.
These types of guys are very unsavory to me. I mean, here I am, buying dinners, cards, chocolates, flowers, gifts for these women and treating them like queens. I mean, it works in the movies and on TV right? This is what I thought guys were supposed to do. Then they end up ***king the bad boy who doesn't seem to care at all for them.
Can someone please explain to me why women say one thing, but believe something else? The words are incongruent with the actions.
I get the feeling that it just may simply be the fact that you have not yet found the right type of girl that appreciates the nice guy. It sounds to me like you are doing all the right things to attract a nice girl. Did that make sense?
Women will follow what their emotions are doing rather than what some guy is saying. Men who act like "jerks" are more exciting and interesting than some wanker holding a boquet of roses and a teddy bear.
A motorcycle ride is dangerous, fun and exciting. A candlelit dinner satisfies hunger.
If you want to attract a woman, you need to get her emotions jumping around. You need to display confidence in everything you do. You need to let her know that you are a man, she is a woman, and sex IS available to her if she is worthy. You need to show your desire for her, not with words, but with your body language and touch. These are all ingredients that will create attraction.
__________________
Welcome to Loveshack.org: Home of the Hopeless and the Bunny Smiley
Re creating attraction, try not to introduce yourself with an explanation of how your name is derived from your air guitar and soapbox derby hobbies. Keep that lame stuff for later (my name is derived from a rubbish Marvel comics villain, haha).
As for these 'jerks and creeps' - what is so annoying about these guys, apart from they have the women you want? They say that a slut is a woman who has slept with everyone but you - similar;y, a 'jerk' is often just a guy who is more confident and successful with women than you.
Having said that, women are much more attracted to an exciting, charming 'jerk' than a 'hey! I'm such a nice guy, approve of me please' desperate sack of neediness. Quit trying to score points off women by being 'nice.' Concentrate on being fun.
Finally some straight answers. Thanks Collector! Your straight talk is like a breath of fresh air. I read somewhere that you shouldn't ask a fish how to fish. Is this the same with women? Should I even be asking women for advice about women?
Finally some straight answers. Thanks Collector! Your straight talk is like a breath of fresh air. I read somewhere that you shouldn't ask a fish how to fish. Is this the same with women? Should I even be asking women for advice about women?
Well, thanking and taking advice from yourself probably won't teach you anything new. I suggest you go to the link I posted earlier. If it helps, that comic is drawn by a guy.
Well, thanking and taking advice from yourself probably won't teach you anything new. I suggest you go to the link I posted earlier. If it helps, that comic is drawn by a guy.
You know what? I'm sick of kissing your women's asses. I asked for some real advice. Maybe I needed that slap in the face. This guy gave me some straight talk, and you (a woman) give me a link to a comic strip, somehow implying that as a man, I am unable to comprehend anything more than colored drawings.
Well, thanking and taking advice from yourself probably won't teach you anything new. I suggest you go to the link I posted earlier. If it helps, that comic is drawn by a guy.
Don't be fooled, serial muse is all three of us. There are only six different people on the whole forum.
You know what? I'm sick of kissing your women's asses. I asked for some real advice. Maybe I needed that slap in the face. This guy gave me some straight talk, and you (a woman) give me a link to a comic strip, somehow implying that as a man, I am unable to comprehend anything more than colored drawings.
Please. Look, starting incendiary threads that insult half the population isn't likely to get you much help. The strip I linked you to points out something that answers your question very succintly: those so-called nice guys who don't ask a woman out but pretend to be friends, and then get upset when she dates someone who does ask her out, are blind to their own contributions to the problem. Because they'd rather be bitter and blame it on the other gender.
That's a straight-talk answer, Mr. Collector Dagger Kockburn whatever your name is at the moment. But I'm quite sure you never intended to take anyone else's advice anyway. That much is clear.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
I suggest you go to the link I posted earlier. If it helps, that comic is drawn by a guy.
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