[JessicaJessieJess]

I've seen lots of "am I gay" posts...girls liking girls, guys liking guys, etc...

I feel like I am in a whole different ballpark, and I don't know if it's "normal" (or common, better word?) because I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone I know.

Ok, here's the story.

I LOVE guys. Emotionally, sexually, etc. But, for the past few years, I've also been sexually attracted to some women. Not emotionally, just physically. I've never been with a woman but I would love to try. But, as for a relationship, I have no interest...

But, that's a different story. Here's my real question. Gay male porn really turns me on. Maybe because gay porn actors are way hotter than the straight ones, haha. My first realization of this, was a few years ago when I first started watching Queer as Folk. I'd never even considered the idea before, but all those hot guys making out, etc was such a turn on.

But, QAF has long since been over. And I find that the attraction remains. I feel like as a straight woman, I "should" be turned off by images of men kissing, or giving each other BJS, or having sex...but I;m SO not. I love it. I don't have a bf right now, but if I did and he was into anal stim, I think I would love it.

At first I wondered if maybe I just have a Dom side to me. But I don't think that's it...I'm more of a moderate, lol

It just seems....strange to me. Not in a bad way, just different. I mean, it seems like a whole different realm to sexual identity. I feel like I might be the only person like this, haha.

Maybe I am a gay male trapped in a straight woman's body?

Between this, and being sexually attracted to "lipstick lesbians", but emotionally attracted to straight men...I feel like I am all mixed up. I don't know WHAT the hell I am? Straight? Gay? Bi? Try? lol

Just wondering if there is anyone else out there with a similar story?

[KMT]

Don't worry about if your weird. If thats what you like, its what you like. If I was your bf or just a male friend I would be a little grossed out though.

[popey]

i can't relate, but i'm glad that your message sounds like you're curious what your deal is, not concerened. If you're sexually attracted to women (whatever type) is it possible that maybe your perception that you are only emotional attracted to men is merely a learned perception? As for your apprecitation for gay porn, I suspect there could be alot of reasons for this. But while you "jestingly" questioned if you're a gay man trapped in a woman's body; people feeling this way is not so uncommon (so the one person I met like this and one documentary I saw suggests anyway.)

[shadowofman]

Not wierd at all. I love watching girl on girl porn.

[carhill]

OP, if you see two gay men kissing passionately in public IRL, what is your first reaction? Go with that

[Trialbyfire]

The impression I'm getting is that you might be slightly bisexual or edging towards it. Fantasy is very different from reality.

As for Queer as Folk, loved that show. It was an edgy guy drama, haha...

The actor Gale Harold who played Brian Kinney is hawtness embodied.

I don't believe he's gay in real life but I could be wrong.

[JessicaJessieJess]

Originally Posted by popey

But while you "jestingly" questioned if you're a gay man trapped in a woman's body; people feeling this way is not so uncommon (so the one person I met like this and one documentary I saw suggests anyway.)

I'm intrigued about this docu you speak of.

[JessicaJessieJess]

Originally Posted by carhill

OP, if you see two gay men kissing passionately in public IRL, what is your first reaction? Go with that

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. Not that I've seen a lot of that (I've been living in NH for the past few years, lol) I'm not a fan of ANYONE, gay or straight, mauling each other in public like they are gonna get it on right there in the street But kissing, I'm down with that.

[JessicaJessieJess]

Originally Posted by popey

i can't relate, but i'm glad that your message sounds like you're curious what your deal is, not concerened. If you're sexually attracted to women (whatever type) is it possible that maybe your perception that you are only emotional attracted to men is merely a learned perception?

Oops, meant to quote this in my other reply.

I'm definitely curious, not so much concerned. I think I'm just more of a free-thinker kind of person. I grew up in a fairly conservative family, and I'm definitely the most liberal of the bunch. I guess it's definitely possible that my perception (of emotional attraction) is a learned one. I've never had a lesbian relationship. Actually, my experiences with relationships in general is kind of limited --- im a late bloomer i guess you could say lol So, part of me says, if I'm inexperienced ANYWAY, how do I KNOW I'm not bi? I'm only basing it off of the fact that, I've had many close female friends, but have never been attracted to them, emotionally or physically. With men, I've been both.

Sexually speaking... I just don't see anything wrong with experimenting with what you like and don't like, as long as you safe, and if it's in the context of a trusting relationship. Sometimes I think I'm just not experienced enough to know WHAT I'm into, to say with any kind of certainty whether I'm straight or bi.

[JessicaJessieJess]

Originally Posted by Trialbyfire

The impression I'm getting is that you might be slightly bisexual or edging towards it. Fantasy is very different from reality.

As for Queer as Folk, loved that show. It was an edgy guy drama, haha...

The actor Gale Harold who played Brian Kinney is hawtness embodied.

I don't believe he's gay in real life but I could be wrong.

ITA about Gale. I think I was actually disappointed when I found out he was straight (or so he says anyway). I thought for sure he and Randy MUST have been involved, hahaha. That was definitely an interesting discovery too...that I was DISAPPOINTED that a hot actor was straight, and not gay???? Usually it's the other way around for me lol

Just for clarification in my own defense, so I don't get flamed or anything...I DO NOT have a trivialized notion of gay lifestyles, and that it's all hawt boys and fun and sex and brian Kinney types, all the live long day. For some reason, ever since college, I've been extremely empathetic towards friends of mine who are gay, and have been marginalized or harassed or discriminated against. I've gone to bat against my own family because of their homophobic notions. I'm probably thought of by some as "that girl who is so into gay rights, she MUST be a lesbian too." I'm not, but it doesn't bother me too much if they think I am. Anyway, just felt the need to clarify that, not sure why.

[Pirouette]

Hi there.

There's actually a rather large Japanese subculture that has many fans of gay romances and gay sex. Try googling boys' love, yaoi or shounen-ai, or look it up on Wiki. It's all geared towards females, mostly straight I believe, and the popularity is spreading to North America. There's also huge fandoms for malexmale fanfiction. Most people would be surprised how popular it is. Don't worry, you are not alone.

[burning 4 revenge]

I just looked at some gay porn after reading this thread and it was disgusting

[Pirouette]

Hahaha, when I want to mock threaten my boyfriend, I tell him I'll show him gay porn.

[Fun2BMe]

Originally Posted by JessicaJessieJess

Maybe I am a gay male trapped in a straight woman's body?

I don't hear men who like watching two women calling themselves a lesbian trapped in a straight man's body. Some women such as yourself are too hard on themselves, searching for a label or explanation to justify enjoying a certain sexual act. I think you're just a straight woman who gets off on gay porn. Doesn't mean you're trapped or have to now choose between a straight or gay or bisexual label based on the porn you watch. Or if you like, you can be an emotionally straight bi-lipstick-curious lesbian trapped in a gay male with lesbian tendencies' body girl?

[Crestfallen_KH]

I really don't put much stock in porn preferences determining your sexuality (minus kiddie porn, of course).

I'm straight, and almost all porn has some girl-on-girl action. If I watch it, I don't think that makes me a lesbian. I think the female figure is beautiful, but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with a woman. I'm curious about certain fetishes too - but that doesn't mean I want to try all of them. A lot of it is "huh, well wouldja lookit that!"

I have some bi porn and I don't feel weird watching the threesomes where guys are involved at all. I mean, I'm straight so I like the male package. It makes sense to me!