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Old 10th March 2008, 1:48 PM   #1
lexi29
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Food for reception

My fiance and I have differing opinions about the food for the recption. I've been to several weddings over the years and honestly can't remember what the food at the reception was (nothing stood out) just remember some ham, and side dishes, salads, etc and lots of cookies. My fiance and I are trying to plan a menu (he wants his parents to cater it which is cheaper for my parents) His parents and he want to have Fried chicken, macaroni salad, potato salad, meatballs, rigatoni, and a meat and cheese tray for sandwiches!! I am pulling my hair out, I am not a picky person (normally) but this sounds more like a picnic lunch than a reception dinner. Also meatballs and rigatoni are very messy (my sister had this at her reception and spilled sauce on her dress.) I don't need anything fancy Anyone care to share what they are having/had or any suggestions. Our budget is about $1500 for food for 130 people. Thanks!
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Old 10th March 2008, 2:21 PM   #2
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Sounds to me like you are worlds apart on what you are thinking for a wedding. In your other thread you indicated that you didn't like their choices of locations (VFW hall) - not sure if that was because of the venue - or distance for your family.

I am not sure where you are, but $1,500 will not go very far to feed 130 people in most parts of the western world. While agree that the menu choices suggested by his parents are not very wedding like IMHO, your budget is very limiting. You might want to consider cutting your guest list in half.

Are his parents professional caterers? If you have the wedding over an hour from where they live/work - how will they transport and reheat the food?

I think you have a lot of details to hammer out, as in ASAP.
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Old 10th March 2008, 2:24 PM   #3
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Also keep in mind that not all venues allow outside caterers in - so that might limit your choices and increase your budget too.

You seriously need to start making lists and figuring things out.
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Old 10th March 2008, 2:27 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lexi29 View Post
My fiance and I have differing opinions about the food for the recption. I've been to several weddings over the years and honestly can't remember what the food at the reception was (nothing stood out) just remember some ham, and side dishes, salads, etc and lots of cookies. My fiance and I are trying to plan a menu (he wants his parents to cater it which is cheaper for my parents) His parents and he want to have Fried chicken, macaroni salad, potato salad, meatballs, rigatoni, and a meat and cheese tray for sandwiches!! I am pulling my hair out, I am not a picky person (normally) but this sounds more like a picnic lunch than a reception dinner. Also meatballs and rigatoni are very messy (my sister had this at her reception and spilled sauce on her dress.) I don't need anything fancy Anyone care to share what they are having/had or any suggestions. Our budget is about $1500 for food for 130 people. Thanks!
$1500 for 130 people! I am paying $30 a head. Are you sure even with his parents catering that will cover it? How are they serving the food? are you hiring people to man it so his parents can relax?

I am still hammering out of menu. But We will have a roast beef carving station, chicken breast in a red pepper cream sauce and pasta primevera.

a fresh green salad with green apples, cranberiies and candied walnuts in a maple vinegrette dressing. sides will be sauteed aspargus and snow peas

appitizers will be VT cheese and fruit plate with passed crab cakes and tomato & mozerella crositini.

wedding cake and fresh fruit for desset.

Plus we are having beer and wine and ice tea. it will cost $3000 for 80 people excluding liqour.
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Old 10th March 2008, 2:28 PM   #5
curiousnycgirl
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I had another thought - given your limited resources, you might want to consider a champagne reception, which is much lighter on the food, yet very elegant.

Mostly desserts (yum chocolate covered strawberries and champagne), possibly some finger sandwiches, etc.
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Old 10th March 2008, 2:29 PM   #6
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Plus we are having beer and wine and ice tea. it will cost $3000 for 80 people excluding liqour.
Wow hotgurl - I'm from NYC, and keep kosher, any idea what that would cost me?!

Good for you!
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Old 10th March 2008, 2:34 PM   #7
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Wow hotgurl - I'm from NYC, and keep kosher, any idea what that would cost me?!

Good for you!
I don't know we are in Vermont but it is a resort area and a lot of people from NYC have desitation weddings here.

So I don't know how the prices would vary. I know if I add fish it is an extra $400. They told me to estimate $20 a head for liqour to be safe So I was thinking 5 grand for dinner/ drinks.

My budget is 10 grand and I am having a hard time. God forbid if I had more people coming. Of course I did insist on getting a trio to play for the ceremony.

and don't even get me started on cakes!.

when are you getting married?
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Old 10th March 2008, 2:36 PM   #8
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I know $1500 is a very limited amount but that is just for the food, not paper products, wine, drink, etc. Its all my parents can afford and my fiance's parents are not offering to chip in, nor is my fiance. I already have to pay for my bridesmaids' dresses, the wedding venue, flowers, decorations, invitations etc and truthfully I don't want a "real" wedding in the first place so thats enough out of my pocket. The reception will be at a venue that does allow outside catering. I'm irritated by the VFW hall because it is small and smokey and the only thing fiance's parents like about it is that it is close to where they live. I'm not looking at something 1.5 hours away (where my parents live) but would like to have the reception at least a half hour away from where my fiance lives (closer to where I live and close to hotels etc (I live in a city while my fiance lives in a small town with NO lodging and since most of my family members will be driving hours to come to the wedding I"d like them to be able to only drive a few minutes to their lodging after the reception. We are inviting 130 people but I expect maybe 100 at most will show up.

I honestly don't know much about wedding food budgets as my sister had her MIL cater their wedding and her husband's parents paid for all the food. And any of my friends who got married, I know the total they spent for their weddings but never asked just about the food/reception.

I would really like to just have the reception somewhere that does the decorating/food prep for you and I looked into that but it costs about $9,000 and though I do have about $10,000 in a savings account I'm not spending that on a one day event!!!! I'd rather use it for something more practical like a down payment on a house.
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Old 10th March 2008, 2:40 PM   #9
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Well you could consider paring down your guest list. That would help, because $1500 really isn't going to be able to feed 130 people a full on meal. Or as curiousNYC suggested, maybe just a champagne reception, or have your wedding earlier in the day so you don't have to offer them a full meal?
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Old 10th March 2008, 2:44 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by lexi29 View Post
I know $1500 is a very limited amount but that is just for the food, not paper products, wine, drink, etc. Its all my parents can afford and my fiance's parents are not offering to chip in, nor is my fiance. I already have to pay for my bridesmaids' dresses, the wedding venue, flowers, decorations, invitations etc and truthfully I don't want a "real" wedding in the first place so thats enough out of my pocket. The reception will be at a venue that does allow outside catering. I'm irritated by the VFW hall because it is small and smokey and the only thing fiance's parents like about it is that it is close to where they live. I'm not looking at something 1.5 hours away (where my parents live) but would like to have the reception at least a half hour away from where my fiance lives (closer to where I live and close to hotels etc (I live in a city while my fiance lives in a small town with NO lodging and since most of my family members will be driving hours to come to the wedding I"d like them to be able to only drive a few minutes to their lodging after the reception. We are inviting 130 people but I expect maybe 100 at most will show up.

I honestly don't know much about wedding food budgets as my sister had her MIL cater their wedding and her husband's parents paid for all the food. And any of my friends who got married, I know the total they spent for their weddings but never asked just about the food/reception.

I would really like to just have the reception somewhere that does the decorating/food prep for you and I looked into that but it costs about $9,000 and though I do have about $10,000 in a savings account I'm not spending that on a one day event!!!! I'd rather use it for something more practical like a down payment on a house.
Have you sat down and talked to your fiance about the budget? Is he chipping in at all. How does he feel about the wedding?you both discussed what kind of wedding you want?

Plus since youa re paying you get to trump your inlaws.

BTW your bridemaids should pay for thier own dresses.

It sounds to me like you are feeling rushed. Maybe it would be better to put if off a bit. Let you finish grad school start your job. Plus the extra time will allow you two to save more for the wedding.

Sept 2009 would give you 1.5 years.
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Old 10th March 2008, 3:09 PM   #11
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a brunch wedding would be nice too. Less expensive. You could have mimosas and bloody marys.
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Old 10th March 2008, 3:10 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by curiousnycgirl View Post
I had another thought - given your limited resources, you might want to consider a champagne reception, which is much lighter on the food, yet very elegant.

Mostly desserts (yum chocolate covered strawberries and champagne), possibly some finger sandwiches, etc.
I was going to recommend this. A friend of mine had a "heavy appetizer" reception, not a full-on meal. It was mainly deserts and elegant passed appetizers.
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Old 10th March 2008, 3:15 PM   #13
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I totally agree you do not have to buy the dresses for your wedding party, so forget that! I also agree you might be able to do much better financially if you select a venue that offers all inclusive packages.

While it is very worthwhile to consider your fiance's parents' offer to do the catering, that really might not be the best option for you. As we have all said, first and foremost you need to put together lists - what do you think the cost items are:

Venue, Music, Food, Food service, Wedding Dress, Flowers, Bar/Liquor, Linens and tables (VFW hall you need to rent those, hotel you liikely don't but there will be a charge), make up and hair the day of the wedding, etc

Then I suggest you come up with estimates for each line item and THEN you can gain agreement as to who will pay for what. Your parents might be better off buying your dress, vs. the food. Stuff like that.

Depending on where you are in the country you might be able to do all this on a more limited budget - I'm not sure. I would also consider all menu options, like a light hors d'oevres reception with open bar (these are always my favorites,), or as I said earlier champagne reception. And as another person said - consider time of day differences.

BTW Hotgurl, I am not getting married yet - but I can tell you my brother had a brunch wedding, reception in the synagogue, no flowers per se, sort of kind of an open bar (my parents supplied the liquor the caterer supplied the bartender), no meat, but yes fish huge buffet for 120 people, and it was $30K! So yes NYC and kosher is very, very expensive!

If/when I get married it will be a courthouse simply because that is all I can afford.
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Old 10th March 2008, 3:24 PM   #14
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I used this when helping my BFF: http://www.brides.com/myweddingplanner/tools/budget/

It helps you budget for each item in your wedding, and gives you guidelines about what % of your total budget should be spent on any given thing.
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Old 10th March 2008, 3:28 PM   #15
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Lexi. the knot .com is a good resource for wedding planning. I also bought a book wedding planning for dummies. (I hate thoose titles) But it was very helpful since it has chapter on where to start and check list etc...


Also I noticed you said you BF won't help pay but he is the one who wants the big wedding. This is really unfair you should talkt oh im about it.


curiousnycgirl wow 30k for a brunch wedding yikes!. My friend did a brunch wedding is it was very reasonable. but he had maybe 50 people.

my friend got married in mahattan and she spent over 40 grand and was divorced 2 years later.
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