[Obama08]

I feel I lack classification.

Technically, I'm a straight male, I'd say about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. This is contradicted however by a number of characteristics.

1) I set off people's gaydar. I don't mean in a metro way, although I get that a lot too, I'm not terribly stylish or anything, although in high school I wore a lot of ruffly pirate shirts and skin tight leather. Anymore I dress like an average guy. I like turtlenecks especially, and sweaters with zipper up collars, so yeah, okay, a little metro, but that's not it, I'm just... feminine. Kinda girly. It's not a lisp or anything either. It's just my personality.

2) Most of my best friends are girls. More to the point most of them are bi or lesbians. I don't... understand most straight guys, and as a result I don't really get along with them. I don't care about sports, or cars, or you know, any of that guy stuff. It just all seems so silly.

3) Excluding my (failed) marriage, and my current relationship, I've never had a romance that lasted more than a couple weeks. The majority of my sexual experiences have been threesomes. This is a result of having so many bi and lesbian friends, and being... aw hell, I'm kind of an ever willing dildo with a pulse.

My fiancee says that I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body (which she thinks is adorable.) Even my 8 year old daughter picks up on my girliness and teases me about it.

Y'know, I kinda want to have sex with a guy, not because I want to have sex with a guy, but just to answer the question. I've had threesomes with guys before, but it's always been tag team. I've kissed guys before and felt... not much of anything.

I dunno. Somehow... it's like everyone is waiting for me to come out of the closet. Could I be in denial? What if I am? I'm getting married in four months!

Anyone else out there like me? Or know someone like me?

[shadowofman]

Forget about how effeminant you are. That is just to be taken for face value, and really has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.

You have rated yourself a 2 on the Kinsey Scale. Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual.

Contrast this with the Hirshfeld Scale. Rate your sexual attraction to each gender seperately on a scale of 1 to 10, where 0 is no arousal. 2 is taboo interest. 4 could do with or without. 6 is prefered. 8 is a serious focus. 10 is exclusively focused where it is required for sexual release.

While you are rating your gender focus, you can also rate your other sexual inclinations. Voyeurism, exibitionism, promiscuousness, sadism, masochism, and the hundreds of observed paraphilias.

You may find more of a label then you bargained for. I myself am a Bisexual Voyeuristic Orgiaphiliac.

[burning 4 revenge]

i can't believe theres all of these scientific measurements of gayness

[shadowofman]

Sure is! You often hear people say that "everyone is a little queer", well they are refering to a taboo interest that is common with almost all people. Many, many women will admit to having fatasized about sex with another woman, but that it would never go beyond fantasy. Others will suggest that they will do it just to turn a guy on, but it does nothing for them sexually.

All of this can be labeled and described on Hirshfeld's Scale.

But the most important part is to understand that gender attraction is just one aspect of one's sexual orientation. Probably the most important overlooked aspect is Promiscuousness. Almost all have at least a taboo interest in promiscuity, but many people have a prefered or highly focused sexual orientation toward promiscuity. And most of these people are in monogamous relationships because that is the societal norm. This is the leading cause sexual distress IMO.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Bottom line is this man has some issues...

He doesnt know if he's straight , gay, bi, bi-curious, married, cheating, seperated, single.

Damn man pick a side and stick with it!!! lol.

[Obama08]

Any kind of self rating system is kindof meaningless when you may be in denial.

Meh. It's not like I feel obligated to conform to a definition, but I still wonder...

Probably just pre-wedding jitters.

[whichwayisup]

I think it's possible you're a committment phobe and you're scared too of having a boring life with just one woman - Hense the desire to have lots of female (lesbian/bi) friends, and have threesome's. Doubt you're gay, you're just a sexual person and prefer womenly things than manly.

Maybe you're focussing on the sexual satisfaction too much and making that your first priority. There's other things in a marriage, let alone in life, than just sex.

Just my 2 cents..

[Lizzie60]

Naaawww.. I don't think you're gay.. I think you might be just curious about it.. and maybe loving the thought of it..

If you were gay, IMO, you would be very attracted to men.. unless the experiences you had were just so-so.. and you weren't feeling attracted that much to the guy(s).

Are you attracted by males? do you think about sex with a male often?

[witabix]

Originally Posted by Obama08

I feel I lack classification.

Technically, I'm a straight male, I'd say about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. This is contradicted however by a number of characteristics.

1) I set off people's gaydar. I don't mean in a metro way, although I get that a lot too, I'm not terribly stylish or anything, although in high school I wore a lot of ruffly pirate shirts and skin tight leather. Anymore I dress like an average guy. I like turtlenecks especially, and sweaters with zipper up collars, so yeah, okay, a little metro, but that's not it, I'm just... feminine. Kinda girly. It's not a lisp or anything either. It's just my personality.

2) Most of my best friends are girls. More to the point most of them are bi or lesbians. I don't... understand most straight guys, and as a result I don't really get along with them. I don't care about sports, or cars, or you know, any of that guy stuff. It just all seems so silly.

3) Excluding my (failed) marriage, and my current relationship, I've never had a romance that lasted more than a couple weeks. The majority of my sexual experiences have been threesomes. This is a result of having so many bi and lesbian friends, and being... aw hell, I'm kind of an ever willing dildo with a pulse.

My fiancee says that I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body (which she thinks is adorable.) Even my 8 year old daughter picks up on my girliness and teases me about it.

Y'know, I kinda want to have sex with a guy, not because I want to have sex with a guy, but just to answer the question. I've had threesomes with guys before, but it's always been tag team. I've kissed guys before and felt... not much of anything.

I dunno. Somehow... it's like everyone is waiting for me to come out of the closet. Could I be in denial? What if I am? I'm getting married in four months!

Anyone else out there like me? Or know someone like me?

You are looking to pigeon-hole yourself?

No need, everyone that knows you will do that for you, just be who you are.

One odd thing is the bolded part, having sex with another man will answer what question?

1. If you see a guys butt do you get a hard on?

2. If you see a girls butt do you get a hard on?

How will having sex with anyone who doesn't cause some form of attraction to arise within you help you?

[Obama08]

Nope. Just not attracted to guys. It just seems like, given everything else, that I ought to be. >shrug<

Thinking about it I don't get along with straight girls as well, and gay guys ignore me once they find out I'm not gay.

Hmmmm... I think I'm a lesbian. With a penis. I can't be the only one though. Maybe just the only one in my town.

But, thinking harder, there are definatly some male celebrities that I would have sex with. Sean Connery, Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp, I could go on and on. They're just undeniably attractive, I don't care who you are. I wouldn't think twice. But that falls into the fantasy realm. I've never felt that way about a guy in person, although I can definatly tell an attractive man when I see one.

Also, one time after a threesome, we were all in the shower and my penis smacked against another guys penis and got hard. And although I've never tried it, I fantasize periodically about double penetration - another guy with me and my girl.

So maybe I am attracted to guys, but only if a girl is also involved. I think if I were to have a threesome with a guy, I would probably be willing to do a few things just him and me too. Depending on the guy I suppose.

So maybe I'm bi, but only under the right circumstances, with the right guy. And it would be purly a sexual thing. I don't ever see myself falling in love with a guy, even Johnny Depp... Okay maybe Johnny Depp.

But then, mightn't that be true of many lesbians? I know even my hard core lesbian friends would make a few exceptions.

I sure don't think I'd mind being a woman. It has it's disadvantages though. Guys have so much less personal maintenance. Also, I like having a penis most of the time, so I don't think I can really claim any kind of lesbian moniker, although a few of my lesbian friends freely admit to wanting a penis, but anyway I think I would have to be a woman. Kinda... you know. A major part of the classification.

My head hurts.

[Arch]

lawl, you went from having a 3 way with your fiance and another girl to thinking your gay, thats a big switch. If you can seriously say you would enjoy having sex with a certain dude over a girl, thats a pretty clear sign your gay.

[D-Lish]

I think if nothing else you are bi-curious. Just the fact that you admit you'd like to try sex with a male and have gotten a hard on from bumping your naked penis on another naked penis says something.... doesn't it?

I've had sexual experiences with a few girls... but I don't want to date one. I know 100% that I am straight.... but I'd still kiss a pretty girl after a couple drinks.

I have a male friend exactly like you. You're not alone in your confusion. Him and I have talked a lot about whether he's gay.... it's usually me telling him he's gay and him laughing and shrugging it off. He has also had some sexual contact with guys, is a bit effeminate...and refers to himself as a lesbian with a penis. He's even dated a lesbian!

Just go with the flow instead of trying to put yourself into a catagory. Are you a good person? Do you like yourself? Do you have fun in life? If you have answered yes to these questions...then, well.... carry on!

[rchrd881]

O08, human sexuality is a continuum. It's fluid. A grey-area. Don't assign labels; just do what feels right.

(major hedonist signing off)

[shadowofman]

I agree with rchrd, but labeling is the only way that humans understand things and make distinctions. I find it extremely helpful in understanding why I do and act the way I do.

[Jilly Bean]

To say that you want to have sex with a man in order to answer the outstanding question on your sexuality shows that there is enough doubt in your own mind to even explore this.

For me, I KNOW I am not a lesbian, and I dont need to bed a chick to confirm that. If you are that suspicious, then go with that...