[silvergirl111]

This may not seem like your typical sexuality-questioning situation ... my problem is actually that I have been with a woman (I am a 24 year old woman myself) for 2.5 years (we have lived together for a little less than 2 years).

About a year into our relationship I confessed that I missed guys sexually and didn't know if I could go my whole life without being with them again. We continued our relationship with this shadow hanging over our heads, as I continued to make out with guys on the side. I had sex with a guy during our relationship once, all of which I eventually told her and she was willing to stay.

We are best friends and the most compatible couple I know. We complement each other perfectly and living together was so much fun. She is a great person and everything I could ever want in a partner.

Unfortunately, my issue became too much to handle. Thursday I broke up with her and this has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life.

I think one reason I "miss" guys is because my experiences with them are limited in relation to my experiences with women. Not only that, but I have never really been in love with a man or even had an exclusive boyfriend. Do I need to experience this before I can really be what she deserves? Or will this always be something I struggle with?

I could live with it if our sex life hadn't declined after this all started, but I began to not want to have sex with her. In part because I found myself fantasizing about guys even during sex.

But my heart is breaking and I feel as though I may never find someone who is that perfect for me. She accepted me as I am and loved me in spite of my many faults. To her, I was perfect, and to me, she was the most beautiful amazing woman on the face of the planet.

Advice, insight?

[shadowofman]

I really wish I could advise. I am feeling just as you did probably right before you broke it off. At this point I am too afraid to take that step, yet I am still miserable. I have never been so happy and unhappy at the same time.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Hmmm.

Well if anything why cant she join in. I'm sure she likes a little push , push in the bush sometimes too. lol.

Or is she like a hardcore lesbian and your bi-sexual?

If you guys are broken up this is the prime time to explore your sexuality.

If you love men, then so be it. You guys arent married or have kids? It's sad because I know that guys that are compatible can be together but glaring differences make it hard!

I dont understand maybe you guys could have found a male friend you both have trusted for a little threewaay action.

Or

Do you want to see what it's like with a man. As a 24 year old woman why did you wait so long to seek out a man when you was in a realationship?

[silvergirl111]

A threesome is not an option because she knows how much I enjoy sex with men and worries that I would be wishing she wasn't even there.

We are both bisexual but she has been more than happy not being with men for the past couple years.

I have had sex with men but never when I had emotionally feelings for them. I think part of it is my desire to explore the possibility of being emotionally involved with a man and then having more meaningful sex. Maybe I just need to get it out of my system?

And I know what you mean, Shadowofman. She made me happier than I had ever been, which in turn made me so incredibly and deeply sad because I knew that mentally I could never be there 100% with all these questions in my mind. It was the worst feeling in the world, although not nearly as bad as this pain of not being with her anymore.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Originally Posted by silvergirl111

A threesome is not an option because she knows how much I enjoy sex with men and worries that I would be wishing she wasn't even there.

We are both bisexual but she has been more than happy not being with men for the past couple years.

I have had sex with men but never when I had emotionally feelings for them. I think part of it is my desire to explore the possibility of being emotionally involved with a man and then having more meaningful sex. Maybe I just need to get it out of my system?

And I know what you mean, Shadowofman. She made me happier than I had ever been, which in turn made me so incredibly and deeply sad because I knew that mentally I could never be there 100% with all these questions in my mind. It was the worst feeling in the world, although not nearly as bad as this pain of not being with her anymore.

A threesome is not an option because she she thinks you enjoy men physically and not her. Well why not she just get a strap on and all three of you guys can play, As a man if I met a girl like that she proposed that threesome to me where we could both enjoy her, (Im' the pitcher, nothing else. lol!) I would take it. Your girlfriend is monagomous. It's cool.

So she's fully gay now. There's nothing bi-sexual about her anymore. She's hardcore lesbian. Does she have trust issues with men, I mean she's been with men before, so she prefers women more now is it?

My advice is that you should not get emotionally involved with a straight man if you cannot get over the feelings you have about your ex girlfriend. IT isnt fair to him or you if you lie about that. Try to find a guy who can accept that your bisexual. I myself would have sex with a bisexual woman but I couldnt give my heart to her wholeheartedly. If she's bi she's gonna want to be with the other gender sooner or later and I dont think I could handle that.

Maybe you just need a good poking but beware if you do fall in love with a man who's great in bed. You might be opening a whole nother can of worms.

[shadowofman]

I tend to use the Hirshfeld Scale to understand peoples sexual orientations. Since you are both bisexual we know your gender preferences. Now what are your promiscuity preferences. It seems that she is just more monogamous than you. Has no interest in anyone else sexually. Would you say that you would be happer not bound sexually to one person for the rest of your life? I myself am bisexual and promiscuous. I love being in a loving relationship with one person, but I find it stifling to be sexually monogamous.

[directx]

Well, you are only 24 so i think you still have plenty of time to find your 'perfect' one and figure things out.

I agree with your plan of stepping back and giving your self time and peace to figure things out.

I would take your time.

[silvergirl111]

She is still bisexual but has no interest in anyone else but me and I think she will be more likely to explore more with women since I was her first woman. Before me she had only been with men. No trust issues, she just enjoyed being with me, probably because we had a great connection.

Strap-ons don't do it for me either.

You're right, I need to make sure I don't get emotionally caught up in someone because at this point it would be a horrible idea. I would just get hurt worse and it wouldn't be fair to him either.

And Shadowofman, I do have a problem being monogamous and the only reason I ever start feeling guilty depends on who I am with and how it affects them. Rarely do I feel as though I'm actually doing something wrong, but with her I did because she has been nothing but amazing to me. And yes, she is completely monogamous in all of her relationships.

Thanks for the advice, everyone, I do feel like I'm on the right track to figuring myself out.

[shadowofman]

Well then the question you need to be asking yourself is,...Is monogamy something that you are capable of being and being happy about it? It is this mistake that promiscuous people make, ultimately detroying their relationships by finding out that they are not happy in a monogamous relationship.

[Lovelybird]

what do promiscuous people seek? more sex? or maybe soulmate and deep connection is just a delusion? more sex is more practical? or free to be ME, feel incredible?

[shadowofman]

Promiscuous people want all of the things that monogamous people want, except their sexual wants are not satisfied with one partner. They still want love, maybe from one person, maybe from many. The same drive that causes a person to want sex in the first place is driving a promiscuous person to want to be promiscuous.

[Lovelybird]

Originally Posted by shadowofman

Promiscuous people want all of the things that monogamous people want, except their sexual wants are not satisfied with one partner. They still want love, maybe from one person, maybe from many. The same drive that causes a person to want sex in the first place is driving a promiscuous person to want to be promiscuous.

so, you mean one partner's love isn't enough, so they seek more love from others? the sex part I can understand, there are few men can be really faith to one woman, I mean including porn watching and imagenary

[Chrome Barracuda]

Originally Posted by Lovelybird

so, you mean one partner's love isn't enough, so they seek more love from others? the sex part I can understand, there are few men can be really faith to one woman, I mean including porn watching and imagenary

I am single and I'm a freak, (No homo, lol.) The thig with me is if I meet the right woman I can be faithful to her and only her. You have people who are promiscious to a point where they can never settle down.

[Lovelybird]

Originally Posted by Chrome Barracuda

I am single and I'm a freak, (No homo, lol.) The thig with me is if I meet the right woman I can be faithful to her and only her. You have people who are promiscious to a point where they can never settle down.

I like both freaks and weirdos

[Chrome Barracuda]

Originally Posted by Lovelybird

I like both freaks and weirdos

Well then call me freaks and geeks! lmao!

As long as theyre up front and honest about it, then it shouldnt be a problem.