I'm headed for the Lake to buy a house and scared!
Thanks to everyone who responded to my thread earlier this month. I have decided to drive (700mi) down to the "Lake" and start looking for a new home middle of this week. Yes, my long time ago MW lives there. No she has absolutely no idea what I'm going to do. I havent spoken to her for over a month.
I've been talking to a realtor, and have an appointment. I intend to take my time, and find a house that can be my home for the rest of my life, (or until she decides she wants to "live happily after" somewhere else LOL).
My stomach has been in knots since I made the decision to go. I've been having trouble sleeping and even consentrating sometimes. I'll have a long drive, and a thousand of my favorite oldies in the MP3 player to calm me down on the way.
I don't intend to "reveal" myself to her for a while, probably months. I want to be settled in, comfortable, with an established routine before I do. I won't be a begger or a whiner. I've done nothing to push for what I have wanted for six years. I believe I have one option in my bag, and I've decided to play it. I know we could end up friends, enemies, or... enjoy the greatest love in history. I must know.
I'm 57 and not getting younger. I've need to know whether happiness with the Woman I have loved since I was 17 years old is really possible. Whether 700 miles and fear of the unknown is what's been standing between us.
Two old sayings I've counted on all my life keep popping into my head... "Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome" and "Fortune Favors the Bold". I pray those aren't cliques.
Lakeside, I always believe it's better to regret doing something than not doing it. If it implodes, you'll be no worse off than you are now, and you'll have a nice house to grow old in one day. If it flourishes, your life will truly begin.
I wish you find your happiness and peace, God will guide you in every thing you do. If you pray to God, and sure this is the direction that God wants you to go, then you should definitely go for it
__________________
--Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (emancipation from bondage)
--Rom 12:2 Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind.
--Beauty for ashes
sorry, I didn't read your last post when I posted above
maybe in your heart you already have answer, are you sure God wants this direction for you? sounds like too much drama in it. I am sure God wants you happy, but in a right way that hurt nobody. God's way is always higher than ours, if you ask Him, I believe God will show you the best way you can find happiness and peace. maybe he already gave you some signs, you have to ask Him and listen in your heart. If we are too obsessive about our own goals, we could miss out the blessings God intents for us
what if when you see her husband, you feel like he is just like you many years ago, facing his lover betray him? what if she doesn't choose you? could it possible that you try to compensate yourself by win over another guy's wife? sorry, it is little harsh. can your true happiness built upon ruin of another's man's? do you want another man replay the pain you experienced before? Can you disrespect a woman (because of infidelity) and same time love her? If that man doesn't want his wife, then it would be win-win, but you don't know, do you? If you get the woman, down in your heart you will despise her like you despise your wife; if you cannot get her, you will admire her more and more want her but cannot. doesn't sound good direction
It is difficult decision to make, if you are following God's way, you can feel peace; but if your way isn't God wants you to go, then you cannot feel peace about it
I do wish you find happiness, I saw many of your posts, if there is one I wish he can get happiness that is you, and will pray you will find it soon
Last edited by Lovelybird; 4th February 2008 at 4:45 AM.
Just make sure you will be happy living so close to her even if she does not respond the way you would like. It's a big decision and you don't want to base it on something that might never be.
Hope you find some peace of mind and happiness in your new home, whether she chooses to be a part of your life or not. I too am a believer of "Forune favours the bold" but be prepared to "Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome" if things should not turn out as you would like them to.
Marlena
__________________ I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. Voltaire
Thanks to everyone who responded to my thread earlier this month. I have decided to drive (700mi) down to the "Lake" and start looking for a new home middle of this week. Yes, my long time ago MW lives there. No she has absolutely no idea what I'm going to do. I havent spoken to her for over a month.
I've been talking to a realtor, and have an appointment. I intend to take my time, and find a house that can be my home for the rest of my life, (or until she decides she wants to "live happily after" somewhere else LOL).
My stomach has been in knots since I made the decision to go. I've been having trouble sleeping and even consentrating sometimes. I'll have a long drive, and a thousand of my favorite oldies in the MP3 player to calm me down on the way.
I don't intend to "reveal" myself to her for a while, probably months. I want to be settled in, comfortable, with an established routine before I do. I won't be a begger or a whiner. I've done nothing to push for what I have wanted for six years. I believe I have one option in my bag, and I've decided to play it. I know we could end up friends, enemies, or... enjoy the greatest love in history. I must know.
I'm 57 and not getting younger. I've need to know whether happiness with the Woman I have loved since I was 17 years old is really possible. Whether 700 miles and fear of the unknown is what's been standing between us.
Two old sayings I've counted on all my life keep popping into my head... "Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome" and "Fortune Favors the Bold". I pray those aren't cliques.
If you are able, wish me luck.
Hi Lake, I give you a ton of credit for making the decesion to pack up and follow your heart...this takes so much courage.. I hope that everything work's out for you just the way you would like. Best wishes. Big hug's!
AP
__________________
"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."
I guess my only question to you would be, if it never works out with your MW will you be okay? The reason that I ask is that you have left your support system behind.
Thanks all for your posts, and kind words. I believe (nothing is "for sure") that I have been "ready" for the answer to the ultimate question for many years.
I also believe that had I been able to act on my desires and make this move in the beginning, rather than spend a year and a half taking care of my adult son, who was in trouble at the time, that I would have been successful fufulling my dream back then. Of course I can 't know for sure.
What I can tell you is that the stress right now is extreme. Hard to sleep, headaches, stomach tied in knots. I can remember feeling like this 30+ years ago! It's a heck of a way to "re-capture my youth" !
I wanted to say goodluck and then add a few comments...
First.. Since you are putting so much hinging on her then wouldn't it be maybe a smarter move to go rent a furnished apartment for 6 months and not even truly relocate first.. keep both places and therefore all your options open..
the other thing is that you need to be prepared for her to drop kick you in the nuts..The whole not intending to reveal yourself to her for a while is kinda creepy.. maybe you should tell her what you are doing first since again you are hinging everything on her then maybe she should be part of this decision that includes her...
Other than that.. good luck.. with the real estate market the way it is today you can get a good deal....
Happiness is the utmost priority in someones life and you deserve to be happy and it seems like you have the means to do that...
__________________
~~ One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.. ~~
Last edited by Art_Critic; 7th February 2008 at 5:34 PM.
Arrived safely after a Loooonnnnggg drive, tomorrow I start looking for a new home, stomach in a knot!
Good luck tomorrow...
I wanted to also add after reading my first post that I didn't intend to come across strong.. When I re-read the post it seems like I did.. I didn't mean for it to sound that way and I'm happy for you..
I myself am one that always puts my heart first and I almost always try to overcome and adapt and try even harder and have always been the type that looks at a situation and adapts.. I never run...
Last edited by Art_Critic; 7th February 2008 at 5:41 PM.
I wanted to say goodluck and then add a few comments...
First.. Since you are putting so much hinging on her then wouldn't it be maybe a smarter move to go rent a furnished apartment for 6 months and not even truly relocate first.. keep both places and therefore all your options open..
the other thing is that you need to be prepared for her to drop kick you in the nuts..The whole not intending to reveal yourself to her for a while is kinda creepy.. maybe you should tell her what you are doing first since again you are hinging everything on her then maybe she should be part of this decision that includes her...
Other than that.. good luck.. with the real estate market the way it is today you can get a good deal....
Happiness is the utmost priority in someones life and you deserve to be happy and it seems like you have the means to do that...
Critic,
No offense taken. I am well aware that She could "drop kick" me. Actually I won't be suprised if she does, at first. She has been adamant that I not treat her to a "suprise" visits. Although that hasn't come up for a couple of years. It previously was her "big fear".
As to doing my business and getting settled in. That might work. However... it's a fairly small town and keeping a low profile isn't my style. I would prefer to be "settled in", before striking up the band. I have no need to sell my existing home. I'm putting it with a property manager, offering a 6 month lease (at first) without option. If I end up deciding to stay here forever I'll wait for the market to improve before selling it.
I feel (ugh, feelings are difficult to quantify) that the enevitability of actually living here will make a great difference to her. It's easy to say no, no, no, to someone living 14 hours away. Much more difficult when they are 2 miles. That's the expectation anyhow. Yes it's a gamble, I was a "gambler" before I was married, a "muted" gambler ie businessman for 25 years of marriage, and have slowly regained my confidence in the 7 years since "space" divorce. The only area of my life where I didn't regain my confidence was in matters of the heart.
Now I here, and planning to find a home to make it permanent. I'm hoping that her heart... and proximity will tip the scales in my favor.
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sorry, I didn't read your last post when I posted above 
Good on you!
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