I'm 31 yr old man, making around $$ 8000 per month. My gf always said I am too optimistic as I always worry about future. We have an argument on how much do we need in order for us to get marry. I said if we need to buy a decent apartment with 800 sq feet we need at least $$ 150,000 for downpayment and marriage expenses. She said we don't need that many. She said we can buy an apt with 90% mortage, togehter with all the expenses we only need around 60 to 70 thousands. I said that with current low interest rate we should be ok but what if int rate increase? What if property price drop further and our 90% mortage apt becomes- ve a asset easily? I said we should have 70% mortgage max. She said being with me is very difficult as I always worry about our financial future. gee...I am trying to be well planned and I don't want our future family to suffer. Is there anything wrong with my thoughts?

[Tony T]

Some people are more practical in the way they approach money matters than others. There is nothing wrong with the way you are thinking but it is far more practical than romantic.

You girl is thinking with her heart, you with your brain. The two of you may be perfect for each other if she can just understand the way you think.

I think it's important to keep your finances in good order. Perhaps you are being a little too conservative here. However, if you got married and went down the tubes, she would be the first to yell and maybe even leave.

You have to build your financial life the way you feel most comfortable. If you clearly explain your positions to her, she may not fully understand but she will see that your way is better in the longrun. A lot of people just can't put off gratification. That's why so many people are mired in debt and can't sleep at night.

You run things your way but fully explain your positions to her. Let her see just how many people file for bankruptcy every day because they didn't plan well.

don't forget your heart here. A marriage should be more than a business arrangement. Practical concerns aside, there must be some joy in the here and now, because the present is all that really exists. The past is over and the future...who knows about that. As Tony said, your marriage can hit the skids or... one of you could have a freak accident and die (God forbid).

So plan for the future, but also please keep on top of the emotional aspects of your marriage. Good luck!!!!

Some people are more practical in the way they approach money matters than others. There is nothing wrong with the way you are thinking but it is far more practical than romantic. You girl is thinking with her heart, you with your brain. The two of you may be perfect for each other if she can just understand the way you think. I think it's important to keep your finances in good order. Perhaps you are being a little too conservative here. However, if you got married and went down the tubes, she would be the first to yell and maybe even leave. You have to build your financial life the way you feel most comfortable. If you clearly explain your positions to her, she may not fully understand but she will see that your way is better in the longrun. A lot of people just can't put off gratification. That's why so many people are mired in debt and can't sleep at night. You run things your way but fully explain your positions to her. Let her see just how many people file for bankruptcy every day because they didn't plan well.