[NYnjstress]

Long story short, my GF and I have been together for about 6 years now with a lot of arguments about commitment and multiple break ups and one really bad one a few months ago. Somehow we got it into our heads that moving in together despite all those problems would be a good idea, because we loved eachother. We've resolved SOME of the issues, read a few self help books, made some progress.. but there are definitely problems that come up from past arguments from time to time. I've been really stressed out by all of this and it's gotten to the point that I've developed depression and I've been losing all feeling for her beyond friendship, affection and closeness feel like a chore at times (i know that sounds harsh : / ). Is it possible that I'm really no longer interested in her? or is this a product of my depression? Also whenever we start talking about anything she "needs" from me emotionally in the relationship I grow even more distant and I don't feel anything at all..that and I get an instant severe headache, almost as if on cue. There was a time a few days ago when she was crying and hugged me and I literally felt like a wall and it took a lot of work to even hug her back... Is something wrong with me? I'm not that type of guy, I'm not cold and i'm actually pretty sensitive to her feelings....I just don't know what to do. Should I seek help?

Yesterday she told me she loved me and didn't want me to feel like this anymore so she said she'd be okay with me breaking up with her and dating other people or just taking a break from her if I needed it, but I doubt this will work while we're living together. She also told me that if I do break up with her I need to be sure that I'm no longer in love with her... What do you all think? I feel like it might be good for me to work on myself for a bit and get my life back together, but living with her..eh.. it just seems like that'll be impossible. I guess I can't really tell if I need her or if I'm just used to her? or if I'm taking her for granted?...or don't feel anything for her---or if thats all because of my depression? I'm really confused.

[NYnjstress]

please? any perspective or advice would be helpful

[CarsAreForNoobs]

I've been there once. I wasn't living with her but we had been together for 3 years and I hit a bit of a depression. I started a lot of useless fights and stopped most of the affectionate stuff I used to do for her. It threw her into a depression. She met some new friends and gained the strength she needed to leave. I still love her and have waited for months hoping things could be repaired.

I can tell you that if you really love this girl you need to do something about it because if it is love you'll really going to miss it when its gone. I'd give damn near anything to go back to a time where she cared so much and keep from hurting her. In fact she said the same thing to me "If you need to be with someone else to understand how good this is then go". Think real hard about this. Take a step back. Make sure you give it what you've got before you throw in the towel.