[sbedard]

The girl I loved so much... Who I shared everything with, and my first love has left me after much effort to save our relationship.. and has met someone else...

We dated for 3 years, and off and on for the last year of our relationship.. I miss the girl terribly, and I know she still loves me and misses me, just finds it difficult to be with me..

I made a mistake 3 years ago of cheating on her.. This was done 1 month within to our relationship, and didnt surface until 1 year later.. This absolutely ruined her trust for me, as she finds it difficult to trust people anyway..

I was with another girl last week, and I told her.. and she became very emotional and expressed her feelings of saddness, and told me she thinks about me often and does love me, just she cant be with me right now.. She isnt ready for that again..

She tells me that maybe in time we can work stuff out, once she lets go of everything completely, that maybe only then can we start freash..

I know I need to do NC.. I have tried everything else and this is my last option, and probably should have been my first.. However I cant stop thinking of her.. I cant sleep, I cant eat, and I cant focus in school.. I just think of all the things I did wrong.. if I had of changed just a few things, and a few actions, we would still be together..

I constantly find myself thinking of her with this other guy.. The strange thing is that she tells me she doesnt want to like this guy, doesnt think he's right for her, but she just keeps getting closer and closer.. She said she's attracted to him and doesnt know why..

I'm just very lost and depressed.. And its far too easy to pick up my phone and txt.. In the last 3 years of our relationship we havent gone more then 3 days without talking to each other..

Please.. help me with some guidance

[Curious139]

It is an awful empty feeling, a space in your heart which used to be full. Not only have you lost her but she appears to have moved on and met another guy. That is crushing for anyone.

We need to remember in these situations that no relationship is guaranteed, nothing in life is certain. We cannot make another person love us, difficult as that is to accept.

It is perfectly normal for her to meet another guy. You'll meet another girl in time even if you have no interest right at the moment. And you know what? She might break his heart too. And you might find a new vibrant love with another girl.

The world is full of possibilities although I wouldn't expect you to see that at the moment. Be kind to yourself. Don't do the "if only I'd....." thinking - we cannot go back. I wish we could.

NC is important because it allows you to heal. Best wishes.

[SuperHands]

You're in a hard place and you're hurting like crazy. There's no denying that and you just have to keep the faith that it will pass with time.

You really need to do NC no matter how hard it is as talking to each other just prolongs the agony.

Best of luck and don't forgot to post here again if you need to let it out.

[sbedard]

It just really hurts to know she still loves me and cares for me.. She came over after she found out i met someone else.. I asked her to come over to make sure that this is what she wanted.. to tell me face to face... She cried and hugged me, and wouldnt let me go.. Said she loves me and wants to be with me but its just that one trust issue holding her back...

I guess I just hope that time does indeed heal all wounds.. and maybe someday we can try again

Do you think i should do NC??

[madgun68]

Originally Posted by sbedard

It just really hurts to know she still loves me and cares for me.. She came over after she found out i met someone else.. I asked her to come over to make sure that this is what she wanted.. to tell me face to face... She cried and hugged me, and wouldnt let me go.. Said she loves me and wants to be with me but its just that one trust issue holding her back...

Trust is very hard to get over. Unfortunately, some never do.

I guess I just hope that time does indeed heal all wounds.. and maybe someday we can try again

Do you think i should do NC??

That really depends. What do you want to accomplish?

If you need to heal some and let go (at least in part) then I'd suggest going NC for at least a while.