Please read this!!!!!

I am 18 and have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 yrs. He is a sophmore in college and I am a senior in high school. We love each other very much and want to get married when we are out of college. We survived his 1st yr. at college living 9 hrs. apart.

Here is the problem: SEX

We have never had sex, b/c I wanted to wait until I got married. I think we are ready and so does he, but I really want to wait. He is always pressuring me and sometimes he gets really upset. When we talk about it, he cools off and tells me he will wait for me. I am really confused! I want to wait, but I also think I am ready. My mom would kill me if I had sex (but I am old enough to make my own decisions). I don't want to let her down, but I really think I will end up with him for the rest of my life. What should I do? I am also scared about getting pregnant! Help!

[Tony T]

I don't think you should allow strangers on a message board decide for you when you will have your first sexual experience.

If you have vowed to save yourself for marriage and you want to stick by that, by all means do so.

Most people have sex prior to marriage and the majority with more than one partner over a period of time. Just understand that because you have sex with your boyfriend, there is no certifiable guarantee that he is the person you will marry. Life has a way of taking detours fast and furiously.

If you do decide to have your first sexual experience soon, don't tell you mother and she won't kill you. Having solved the survival issue, see a doctor and get on a satisfactory birth control program. As your physician for alternative foolproof methods, including a combination of use of condoms and time of the month, in order to give the best assurance of not getting pregnant.

Your doctor can also advise you on what you can do to safeguard against sexually transmitted diseases. Assuming you guy hasn't cheated on you, there is only a small chance of that happening.

Just be sure before you do this you are capable of keeping your mouth shut. You are 18 now and you don't need anyone's blessing to have sex. That's a decision you can make yourself. You need to get used to making good, sound decisions for yourself and stop trying to please other people...because you will fail most of the time.

no one here can tell you what to do in this situation. deciding to have sex for the first time is a very personal decision and no one can tell you yay or nay.

do you feel mature enough to have sex yet? do you honestly feel ready to take this step? these are a couple of question *you* need to ask yourself and you also need to answer them honestly. there is no set age that people must lose their virginity by. it's a matter of when your comfortable doing the deed.

i would also suggest that you visit your doctor and discuss contraception with him/her. get a thorough medical check-up and look at all the options available such as the pill, injections, condoms etc. if you and your doctor agree on the pill, you would be best off also using a condom to protect against unwanted pregnancy. but bear in mind, you should always protect yourself against std's too, which means you should always use a condom.

i understand you feel pressured by your boyfriend, but i hope you don't just *think* you're ready because you're afraid of losing him or something if you don't have sex with him yet. if he is the one for you, he will respect your wishes 100%.

take your time deciding, visit your doctor, and don't worry about your mother....she won't kill you if you don't tell her. quite frankly, it's none of her business.

if you feel you're doing the right thing, then so be it, be careful, be responsible and enjoy!

p.s. having sex now or waiting won't guarantee that you will get married. you guys are still very young, you know.

I think if you really want to wait until you get married, then do so. Don't let your boyfreind pressure you into having sex if that is not really what you want to do. If you do decide to have sex, use some form of protection

Please read this!!!!! I am 18 and have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 yrs. He is a sophmore in college and I am a senior in high school. We love each other very much and want to get married when we are out of college. We survived his 1st yr. at college living 9 hrs. apart. Here is the problem: SEX We have never had sex, b/c I wanted to wait until I got married. I think we are ready and so does he, but I really want to wait. He is always pressuring me and sometimes he gets really upset. When we talk about it, he cools off and tells me he will wait for me. I am really confused! I want to wait, but I also think I am ready. My mom would kill me if I had sex (but I am old enough to make my own decisions). I don't want to let her down, but I really think I will end up with him for the rest of my life. What should I do? I am also scared about getting pregnant! Help!