Odd or not? 36-year old guy goes on 4-day camping trip with 31-year-old sister....
just the two of them. Also they take a summerly "sibling vacation trip" together, in addition to the camping trip, sharing a hotel room.
More info: this guy has never had a girlfriend and has never dated. Also, the sister is still obsessed over an exboyfriend who dumped her 5 years ago and she has not dated since because she has not gotten over the breakup yet. Her brother says she just needs more time. Ummm....
Don't judge me for asking the question, I was just wondering if this was odd.
Last edited by Izzy B; 1st September 2007 at 4:38 PM.
No not really. Unless their seeing each other. Then we can upgrade odd to .
Me and my brother are very close that I'd do anything he asks. He's the one I can depend on no matter what and share that sib. love. We have a bond I can't explain. We call each other all the time just to chat and make each other laugh. Use to do things together when we lived close.
No not really. Unless their seeing each other. Then we can upgrade odd to .
Me and my brother are very close that I'd do anything he asks. He's the one I can depend on no matter what and share that sib. love. We have a bond I can't explain. We call each other all the time just to chat and make each other laugh. Use to do things together when we lived close.
I guess I don't see why is that odd?
I guess the sharing the hotel room thing is kinda odd. But I just wanted to see if it really was. I am very close to my sister and I understand that.
They are both siblings and sharing a hotel room with two beds really is not a problem. Two sisters, two brothers, two siblings, two family members, sharing the same room really isn't a problem.
If you are talking about a Greek tragedy or Roman play or something else, then yes it could be odd.
I guess the sharing the hotel room thing is kinda odd.
No it's not odd if sleeping in separate beds. Saves money & the logical thing to do. Unless each is planning on having sex. Then separate rooms is in order.
__________________
Our greatest battles are that with our own minds. ~Jameson Frank~
Odd? No. They are brother and sis. There is a bond there that is forever.
Unless you have some compelling reason to believe that there is something more than a sibling relationship, then your question is odd.
That is very rude of you to say my question is odd. I simply haven't dated a guy who went on camping trips alone with their sister for several days.
You are very rude and close-minded, and on a board like this where people post questions asking for answers, it is very inappropriate and rude of you to state that my question is odd, simply because I have not seen this kind of behavior before. You should be making this a place where people feel free to ask questions instead of blasting them for asking it.
Also, I wasn't really wondering about incest, I was just wondering if maybe he was too close to his sister, in that it might be the same as a Mama's Boy situation...he talks a lot about her, in fact goes on and on and brags about her, and she really isn't all that impressive of a person. She sounds kinda weird, actually, especially the obsessing over the ex who dumped her five years ago. He talks about her as if I personally should be really impressed with her or something, and he has told me nothing about her that is really that impressive. I have a higher degree than she does and make more money than she, work in a more impressive field than she, and went to a better college than she for the major we had as undergrads (we both were the same major in college.) He talks about her as if she is someone I should emulate...ummm, unless I want a worse job, sit home depressed over a guy who dumped me 5 years ago and refusing to date because of him, and make less money and have less friends, then I should try to emulate her. Oh, and I saw her picture and I am a lot prettier than she is, also.
THat was the issue, it does seem like he is a "sister's" boy instead of a "mama's" boy.
Last edited by Izzy B; 2nd September 2007 at 2:35 AM.
I don't see anything odd about it. Maybe it's something like a 'twin' thing. Are they the only siblings in the family? If so, then it explains why they are super-close.
I'm very close to my brothers and we all hang out together. Sometimes all four of us or just me and either one of them.
I would do anything for them and if one of them wanted to take me somewhere just to chill, I wouldn't mind. That happened quite often before they all got married! Now we hang out with their wives together etc.
__________________
Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it - Morrie Schwartz
That is very rude of you to say my question is odd. I simply haven't dated a guy who went on camping trips alone with their sister for several days.
You are very rude and close-minded, and on a board like this where people post questions asking for answers, it is very inappropriate and rude of you to state that my question is odd, simply because I have not seen this kind of behavior before. You should be making this a place where people feel free to ask questions instead of blasting them for asking it.
Also, I wasn't really wondering about incest, I was just wondering if maybe he was too close to his sister, in that it might be the same as a Mama's Boy situation...he talks a lot about her, in fact goes on and on and brags about her, and she really isn't all that impressive of a person. She sounds kinda weird, actually, especially the obsessing over the ex who dumped her five years ago. He talks about her as if I personally should be really impressed with her or something, and he has told me nothing about her that is really that impressive. I have a higher degree than she does and make more money than she, work in a more impressive field than she, and went to a better college than she for the major we had as undergrads (we both were the same major in college.) He talks about her as if she is someone I should emulate...ummm, unless I want a worse job, sit home depressed over a guy who dumped me 5 years ago and refusing to date because of him, and make less money and have less friends, then I should try to emulate her. Oh, and I saw her picture and I am a lot prettier than she is, also.
THat was the issue, it does seem like he is a "sister's" boy instead of a "mama's" boy.
I think it's a shame at some people's reaction to your reaction. and maybe if they read the fuller picture they'll get where you are coming from.
Ref the sibling thing, no it's not odd, but your concerns over is he a moma's boy, and it extends to sibling as well, yes I get that...
I was married to a guy who had 1 sister and 5 brothers, and they all lived at home until they married. nothing wrong with that, at all. It was very daunting entering a family of such a size and such closeness, but thankfully they accepted me.
I am a bit concerned that you have set yourself up as a rival to his sister though. higher degree, prettier etc, if he gets a whiff of this or she does... bye. sadly. If I were you I'd suggest meeting her, and allowing for the fact you may get on. And you don't know how he is describing you to her. i.e... I've met this great person she is this she is that.. I really like her, you'll have to meet her... etc...
He may also feel 'safe' with family or friends, and whilst you and he are starting out, any new feelings he may have or fears etc, he can go to family and not necessarily talk about them, but just mull things over. This is also fine, as long as he doesn't use family as a barracade to having a relationship.
Take care and at least they replied to your post.. mine remains ignored.. I guess it takes time to fit in anywhere..
I guess the sharing the hotel room thing is kinda odd. But I just wanted to see if it really was. I am very close to my sister and I understand that.
I don't think it is inappropriate..as siblings they most likely feel comfortable as they grew up together but I do feel it is a bit odd..
I have 4 sisters and a brother and I would never think about sharing a double bed hotel room with any of my sisters..
I'm respectful of their privacy..
Now my brother.. I have shared a hotel room before with him while traveling on business.. We did it to save money..
__________________
~~ One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.. ~~
I was just wondering if maybe he was too close to his sister, in that it might be the same as a Mama's Boy situation...he talks a lot about her, in fact goes on and on and brags about her, and she really isn't all that impressive of a person. She sounds kinda weird, actually, especially the obsessing over the ex who dumped her five years ago. He talks about her as if I personally should be really impressed with her or something, and he has told me nothing about her that is really that impressive. I have a higher degree than she does and make more money than she, work in a more impressive field than she, and went to a better college than she for the major we had as undergrads (we both were the same major in college.) He talks about her as if she is someone I should emulate...ummm, unless I want a worse job, sit home depressed over a guy who dumped me 5 years ago and refusing to date because of him, and make less money and have less friends, then I should try to emulate her. Oh, and I saw her picture and I am a lot prettier than she is, also.
THat was the issue, it does seem like he is a "sister's" boy instead of a "mama's" boy.
You aren't too keen on her, are you?
It could be that if things haven't gone too well for her in the past while, her brother is being protective and supportive towards her. Maybe a little too much for her own good? Who knows? If he picks up the way you feel about her, it'll probably just make him more protective.
I get on well with my brother, but I'd only see myself going on holiday with him if it was a group/family thing. Still, some siblings are closer than others. I know that he'll sometimes say good things about me to friends/his wife - and likewise I often have good things to say about him to other people. That's not about saying "hey - I think my sibling is superior to you in all sorts of ways..." It's just about being taking a bit of pride in someone you love.
He will probably have lots of good things to say about you to his sister. Provided, that is, that you don't get so caught up in despising her and making unfavourable comparisons betwen the two of you that he starts to perceive you as a bit spiteful and self-congratulating.
More info: this guy has never had a girlfriend and has never dated.
Izzy - he's 36 and has never had a girlfriend, and you are the first woman he has dated in his life? Help us understand him a little better - what has he been doing for the last 20 years, and why has he decided to start dating now, with you?
If he hasn't even dated for all of his adult life, he may well not have a very well-established model of adult relationships, which may be something that is feeding into the uncertainty you feel about how he treats you.
Where has your disdain for her come from? It comes through very clearly in your comments:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Izzy B
...she really isn't all that impressive of a person. She sounds kinda weird, actually, especially the obsessing over the ex who dumped her five years ago. He talks about her as if I personally should be really impressed with her or something, and he has told me nothing about her that is really that impressive. I have a higher degree than she does and make more money than she, work in a more impressive field than she, and went to a better college than she for the major we had as undergrads (we both were the same major in college.) He talks about her as if she is someone I should emulate...ummm, unless I want a worse job, sit home depressed over a guy who dumped me 5 years ago and refusing to date because of him, and make less money and have less friends, then I should try to emulate her. Oh, and I saw her picture and I am a lot prettier than she is, also.
You say you "saw her picture." Does this mean that you have never even met her in person? How, then, could you have formed such a negative attitude about her? You sound very threatened by her; you are working very hard to convince us (and yourself, probably?) that you are superior to her in education, career, looks, "impressiveness"... Who, really, are you trying to impress?
Do you feel you are in competition with her for his attention and/or affection?
__________________ All that is now, All that is gone, All that's to come, and everything under the sun is in tune...
Hi everyone, thanks for your thoughtful responses since I signed off. I guess my concern is that 1. he has never had a girlfriend. he told me this. he is 36 years old. Also we have spent a lot of time together, he is calling me quite a bit and wants to get together, but when we do, he is always talking about his sister. I have nothing against her, it just gets old. He also talks about his best friend in CA a lot. This is fine, but it gets old when someone goes on and on about these people when you haven't met them. I mean everytime I bring something up, it ALWAYS goes back to his sister and his best friend. I am pretty new to the city and I said "I really like "such and such" coffee place." He then says "My friend Ken prefers this place because...." or "My sister does not care for that wine. (which I happen to like a lot. he said it in the tone as if "well if she says she doesn't like it, it is not good wine" I hate to say it but from several comments he's made about her wine knowledge, she knows absolutely nothing about wine, just thinks she does (I do, particularly Oregon wine.) "Oh yes, my sister has been to Paris, also." I mean EVERYTIME I talk about something, they are brought into it and he shifts the conversation to them. Gets old. I understand close bonds with siblings and friends as I have close bonds with siblings and friends, but I don't always have to talk about them no matter what.
I do not feel threatened whatsoever by his sister, I just get tired of the conversations always going back to her (or his best friend) no matter what. Kind of odd for a 36-year-old man, don't you think?
I am avoiding his calls. I can completely understand why he hasn't had a girlfriend and I highly suggest he is the 36-year-old virgin.
Last edited by Izzy B; 2nd September 2007 at 2:05 PM.
She sounds kinda weird, actually, especially the obsessing over the ex who dumped her five years ago. He talks about her as if I personally should be really impressed with her or something, and he has told me nothing about her that is really that impressive. I have a higher degree than she does and make more money than she, work in a more impressive field than she, and went to a better college than she for the major we had as undergrads (we both were the same major in college.)
Wow, and this isn't judgemental? It sounds like you think you're a better, smarter more together person than she is.
Quote:
Oh, and I saw her picture and I am a lot prettier than she is, also.
And? So what if you're better looking than her. I don't understand why you've shared this bit of info here.
Quote:
do not feel threatened whatsoever by his sister
Ofcourse you don't, from what you've said it sounds like you don't want to get to know her, let alone hear about her.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
.
Use to do things together when we lived close.
Linear Mode
