Everybody always says that stay yourself, being a nice guy, not a walkover, but a nice guy, and eventually girls grow up and don't want bad boys...

My problem with this is, if we look at history and we look at now.. WHy is GONE WITH THE WIND one of the most romantic movies????

RHETT BUTLER is an unreliable, gambling drunk who cheats on his wife with a bad looking hooker and then leaves his wife saying he didn't give a damn.....

And this is one of the most romantic movies of all time??

Explain to me why being nice is not full of crap??? Cause it sure doesn't seem like it to me..

[clia]

Scarlett O'Hara married Rhett Butler for his money and nothing else. She was in love with another man (Ashley) the entire time, even though Rhett loved her dearly. Rhett pursued her during the entire movie and told her that he loved her. He does his philandering after he realizes that she will never love him the way she loves Ashley. It's considered a romantic movie because only in the end, after Rhett has given up on her, does she realize that she DOES love him. She actually loved the 'nice' guy in that movie, not Rhett, but the nice guy didn't love her back. (He chose to go with the nice girl.)

So, while I understand your point, your reference to GWTW doesn't support it.

Girls like guys who are confident, busy, independent, and have a life outside of us. We want guys who are nice to us, as long as they have all of the above. If a guy is calling every three seconds and falling all over himself to be the nicest thing ever, it's not a challenge and we lose interest. Girls like a challenge as much as guys do (even though it's hard to admit), and unfortunately, a lot of times the nice guys don't prove to be a challenge. (Hey, look at my post below. This guy's got me thinking because he HASN'T called me back yet. Challenge is the name of the game when it comes to dating.)

I don't agree totally with that theory.. Because there are times when the Game is just that, A game... And playing somebody who you are not, usually you lose somebody who might have been cool.

I mean I've played the game, don't call too soon, don't call too often, and it's fun for a time, but you know where most games lead, Sitting at the end of a bar, because it's about time your game has passed you by....

because the new crowd is much hipper and cooler than you are, and your just hanging around, for one last chance to say, yeah, i still have it...

Funny thing is, most people who play the game, usually rely on everybody else to save them when the trouble they caused has reeked havic upon them..

It's cool to pursue and be pursued and don't be too easy or too stupid... BUt too many people rely on a set of rules for something that really has no set of rules, and that's ,

human individuality..

I very recently had someone tell me that "Nice guys finish last" my response was "Nice girls finish last too". I don't think nice guys have the corner on this market. It's hard when it seems like all the "BadBoys" and "Bad Girls" are having all of the fun. But take a look at all of the relationships they have had or are having one right after another nothing ever really materializing from them. Who's finishing last there? Not the nice girls and guys.

I don't agree totally with that theory.. Because there are times when the Game is just that, A game... And playing somebody who you are not, usually you lose somebody who might have been cool. I mean I've played the game, don't call too soon, don't call too often, and it's fun for a time, but you know where most games lead, Sitting at the end of a bar, because it's about time your game has passed you by.... because the new crowd is much hipper and cooler than you are, and your just hanging around, for one last chance to say, yeah, i still have it... Funny thing is, most people who play the game, usually rely on everybody else to save them when the trouble they caused has reeked havic upon them.. It's cool to pursue and be pursued and don't be too easy or too stupid... BUt too many people rely on a set of rules for something that really has no set of rules, and that's , human individuality..

I belive that there are different ways of showing that you are a nice guy. My definition of a nice guy is someone who is understanding, honest, and respectful. Which is the way that I see myself. No it's not good to be hounding a woman. Because Stalker *******, and Secret Admirer have the same initials. Besides, how nice do you really want to be to a woman? I mean yes, be honest, caring, understanding, and respectful. Throw in a romantic side every now and then, but don't do it day after day. Plus, I belive that different women want different things. I don't look at women as a whole. I look at them as seperate individuals. Some women want to be treated unfairly, some women want nice guys, some women just want to have sex, and some women just want guys to like them and hang out with them. That's just my opinion!!!

Everybody always says that stay yourself, being a nice guy, not a walkover, but a nice guy, and eventually girls grow up and don't want bad boys... My problem with this is, if we look at history and we look at now.. WHy is GONE WITH THE WIND one of the most romantic movies???? RHETT BUTLER is an unreliable, gambling drunk who cheats on his wife with a bad looking hooker and then leaves his wife saying he didn't give a damn..... And this is one of the most romantic movies of all time?? Explain to me why being nice is not full of crap??? Cause it sure doesn't seem like it to me..