My boyfriend has always known that I like to have vibrator. The first one I owned, he broke. Today, he said he found the one I just went out and bought, and he threw it away? I spent money on that thing! Did he have the right to throw it away like that? He thinks that if one of his "friends" finds it, their going to look down on him. I think that is total bull$hit. I mean come on. It's ok for him to wak off to porn, but I can't have a vib? I don't think so, is what I told him. I guess I just want to know how other women and men feel about women owning vibs? Can you explain to me why it is such a big deal? Thank you
Some men are threatened by vibrators - not all men, just the ones that are like your boyfriend. They feel threatened that you might prefer the vibe to them, and are especially threatened if it's a penis shaped vibe that is larger than they are.
Other men think of vibes as toys that are fun to play with together, and they certainly don't care what you do on your own time...hell, they encourage you to play all you want as, very often, the more you play, the more you want to have sex with HIM when he's available.
Your bf had no right to throw it away. I would feel totally outraged and would demand the money to replace it - the nice silicone vibes aren't cheap!
His nonsense about his friends finding it is nonsense...and how would that happen exactly? Sure they might tease him about it if they knew (because everything is fair game for guys to tease each other about), but why would they know? I think he needs to be honest and tell you the real reason he threw it away.
Some men are threatened by vibrators - not all men, just the ones that are like your boyfriend. They feel threatened that you might prefer the vibe to them, and are especially threatened if it's a penis shaped vibe that is larger than they are.
Other men think of vibes as toys that are fun to play with together, and they certainly don't care what you do on your own time...hell, they encourage you to play all you want as, very often, the more you play, the more you want to have sex with HIM when he's available.
Your bf had no right to throw it away. I would feel totally outraged and would demand the money to replace it - the nice silicone vibes aren't cheap!
His nonsense about his friends finding it is nonsense...and how would that happen exactly? Sure they might tease him about it if they knew (because everything is fair game for guys to tease each other about), but why would they know? I think he needs to be honest and tell you the real reason he threw it away.
I don't know why he was so "intimidated" by them? But, I sure didn't play with either of them more then we had sex, so that wouldn't be an excuse. hmm. I'll have to find out?
Bill him!
I'm serious. Tell him what the items cost you when purchased and he owes you the money.
If you broke or destroyed something of his he's expect the same.
It's not that his friends know you had one and you were embarrassing him.
When we were together, I bought my wife a vibrator, and we had a lot of fun with it together. I assume (I hope...) she had some fun with it on her own, too. I liked the image of her being interested in sex...
Throwing it away was just lame. You might ask yourself if this tells you something about his personality that is important to the future of your relationship.
And the "friends might find it" excuse? If one of his friends is going through your underwear drawer, your boyfriend had better be more concerned with throwing such a "friend" out on his butt, rather than getting teased. That's not the real reason.
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If you buy one that's quite a bit smaller than he is, perhaps it might help with his insecurities.
A microvibe ?
His insecurity lies in his past.. he thinks that it is entirely up to himself to please you..
With age comes experience and maturity which one learns that it really is in his benefit that you do use the vibrator..
My GF uses one.. it is great as far as I'm concerned..
If she is having a tough time getting off while having sex we will pull it out and use it while having sex just to increase her pleasure..
and when I'm not around she uses it.. cool.. it turns me on when she tells me she just masturbated...
I would suggest just putting aside the vibrator for a bit and see if you can get him to feel comfortable with using it over time..
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I find it rather hypocritical that he indulges in porn and yet you are not allowed to have a toy. That was my first thought.
Then my second thought was to replace your vibrator with some toy that pleases a boy. Maybe if he got off to one then it might not be so bad to have your own vibrator (I don't know, trying to think like a man...oh wait...no, it's gone).
I mean, he would probably be about as myfted as you are if you were to throw away or delete all of his porn. Not that I suggest that, but maybe you could bring this up in a discussion about it.
Gosh, sex should be fun, and toys are fun. What is the big deal?
Yes, I think it definitely stims from his insecurities...and quite honestly...he sounds a bit selfish to me.
A healthy sexual relationship should consist of two people wanting to do whatever it takes to please the other.
I love vibrators they Rock! My bf uses them on me all the time, and I have the best orgasms with them. It intensfies my orgasms and makes me cum faster too... He knows it brings more pleasure. I mean I love using it while he is in me too!
You and your guy need to have a talk about this, but honestly I get the impression he is one that won't understand. I mean to throw it out? Vibrators are expensive! I would definitly make him pay for it.
Seriously, he should pay you back for throwing your vibrator away... but I'd be spiteful and not buy a new one with the money. He tossed your brand new vibrator, which means he gets to be the replacement. Ride that cowboy until he's sleep-deprived and sore... when he finally calls uncle, then go and purchase a new vibrator. At least by then, he'll have earned his break... and I'm pretty sure he won't throw vibrator #3 away.
Sure, it's a little vendictive, but he asked for it when he threw the vibrator away.
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He threw away my vibrator!
At least it was funny!
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