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Under what circumstances will the mods delete an account or at least some threads? What if one has gotten themselves into a huge mess and people might be facing legal repercussions because of such threads? Is there ANYWAY to get those threads deleted????
Underneath any post, you can click the "alert us" button and contact the mods. It is their decision whether or not to delete a thread.
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Sometimes I read his posts and imagine a transexual dwarf who's been awake for 48 hours reading every single post, hysterically giggling and picking his nose.--princessa
I would definitely state to them the legality issues associated to your request. I doubt they would be unsympathetic to this although I'm only guessing.
Under what circumstances will the mods delete an account or at least some threads? What if one has gotten themselves into a huge mess and people might be facing legal repercussions because of such threads? Is there ANYWAY to get those threads deleted????
There are simply no legal problems you can get into by posting on LoveShack. You have an anonymous username, you cannot be identified and even though we have your IP address that does not mean that you made the post since someone else may have used your computer to make the post.
I can't imagine a circumstance where someone could have serious legal problems arising out of a post of any kind. The worst thing that can happen is you get banned from this site...but you'll live on.
A lawyer advising a client on whether or not they've got grounds to raise an action against someone will expect to be handed some decent evidence to work with. A print-out of a message board detailing an anonymous user's personal problems hardly cuts it. Unless, that is, you've posted details (names, times, location etc) which would, if taken together, narrow it down to you. Even then...what's the likelihood of anyone connected with this situation ever actually reading that thread on LS?
If you have posted identifying details then you probably want to alert the mods to that and I'm sure they'd delete that - if they haven't already. Otherwise, I really wouldn't stress about it.
There are simply no legal problems you can get into by posting on LoveShack. You have an anonymous username, you cannot be identified and even though we have your IP address that does not mean that someone else used your computer to make the post.
I can't imagine a circumstance where someone could have serious legal problems arising out of a post of any kind. The worst thing that can happen is you get banned from this site...but you'll live on.
If there is enough evidence in certain posts that someone is who others know they are (and first names are mentioned) and they talk about affairs they have participated in, can't that be used against the cheating partner in a custody battle?
What about if the mods were paid $50 per post to delete them?????
A lawyer advising a client on whether or not they've got grounds to raise an action against someone will expect to be handed some decent evidence to work with. A print-out of a message board detailing an anonymous user's personal problems hardly cuts it. Unless, that is, you've posted details (names, times, location etc) which would, if taken together, narrow it down to you. Even then...what's the likelihood of anyone connected with this situation ever actually reading that thread on LS?
If you have posted identifying details then you probably want to alert the mods to that and I'm sure they'd delete that - if they haven't already. Otherwise, I really wouldn't stress about it.
Identifying details HAVE been posted and the person who wasn't supposed to see them HAS seen them. I will do anything to get certain threads deleted.
Identifying details HAVE been posted and the person who wasn't supposed to see them HAS seen them. I will do anything to get certain threads deleted.
In that case, a) deny all knowledge and say it's just a coincidence (unless this is a case of you forgetting to log off and a partner reading your posts - in which case talk to a lawyer about it) and b) don't post any more about this.
Can I ask how she found out about LS? Or did he tell her? Just weird that she stumbled upon them...
I feel for what you're going through, but honestly, don't blame yourself. She snooped and got more than she thought she would, and if anything, HE is the one who messed up as he is the one married to her. Not you.
Can I ask how she found out about LS? Or did he tell her? Just weird that she stumbled upon them...
I feel for what you're going through, but honestly, don't blame yourself. She snooped and got more than she thought she would, and if anything, HE is the one who messed up as he is the one married to her. Not you.
I'm not sure if you saw my answer to this question in another thread, but when I was talking to her the other night about all sorts of things and having a friendly conversation I mentioned that there was a website I go to and get lots of helpful insight on my situation with him. I told her that if I found out he were being ingenuine about his feelings for me I would direct her to the site so she could see everything that has been going on (most of everything, anyway). But I NEVER told her what the website was!! She's smarter than I gave her credit for and searched around a bunch and found this website somehow and figured out who I was!! Right after I STUPIDLY changed my avatar from scarlett johanson to my own picture.
Now apparantly all of her and MM's friends/family have been reading everything I have written, I think even my old posts from a few years ago. Now that my privacy has been violated I probably won't be saying much else on these boards and hopefully the mods will be kind enough to delete a few select threads so a messy situation can be avoided.
Now apparantly all of her and MM's friends/family have been reading everything I have written, I think even my old posts from a few years ago. Now that my privacy has been violated I probably won't be saying much else on these boards....
IWALH: I'm not saying this to kick you when you're down - I'm sympathetic to your situation - but your experience is a really important lesson for everyone on here. These forums are not private, they are anonymous. And they are only anonymous to the degree that you protect that anonymity, both in your postings on here, and in interactions with people in your real life.
We each compromise our privacy the moment we post anything on this forum - this is inherently a public forum. Go do a google search on <Trimmer cheat wife> or <Trimmer wife divorce> or <Trimmer marry divorce> and in every case, you'll find links to my Loveshack postings within the first 4 or 5 results returned by Google. My whole story is there for the reading.
The only layers of insulation I have are (1) no-one would ever associate the screen name "Trimmer" with the real life version of me, (2) I've never told anyone that I post on here, or on the internet in general, and (3) although I've posted a lot of information about my life, I've scrupulously avoided posting enough detail about myself for anyone to definitively narrow it all down and put the whole picture together from an "outside in" search. The closest I talk about where I live is to say "small town." I don't get specific about what my job is, etc... I don't think that anyone who knows me in real life - even my XW - could do even a pretty smart web search, and narrow me down to "Trimmer on Loveshack."
Now, on the other hand, even with all that caution, from an "inside out" perspective, I have no doubt that I could pick 8 or 10 of my postings, and if you put those in front of my XW, she could pretty much be sure - based on our common experiences - that they were written by me. Or if you told her to get on loveshack and look at "Trimmer's" postings, she would pretty quickly narrow it down. So really, my insulation is that (a) she doesn't know to look, (b) she probably doesn't care to look, and (c) if she did look - via web searching - most of the terminology I use to post is generic enough that a search would never narrow usefully.
So I think it's important to realize that posting on here is a risk management exercise. For example, theoretically, it's not impossible that before we separated, she might have seen "Loveshack.com" in the browser history on our computer, or through some other means where I had been incautious for a moment. If so, and she's interested in finding me, just that one piece of information would get her 90% of the way to finding my posts. I could imagine she might look for threads started around a particular time in our separation process, and she might stumble across one where I ask about telling kids about divorce; between the timing of the thread and other details posted there (ages, their reactions, etc), I think she would believe that it pretty much narrows it down to me. I know this, it's a risk I take, based on the layers of insulation I think I have provided, but I understand the possibility is still there.
So be careful in thinking that posting on Loveshack is private - there's a big difference between that and maintaining anonymity. And the reason I'm so vocal about it is that some of us here have a lot at stake, emotionally and otherwise...
Last edited by Trimmer; 28th June 2007 at 4:18 AM..
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