[driveuinsane240]

Hello everyone, I would like to start by saying that i have been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now. We both just finished school and have great careers. Thing is she works during the days and i work during the nights. So now we hardly see each other.

Everyday since we got together, we would stay on the phone every night while we sleep. We would also see each other everyday. And this has been going on for 3 years straight. But now that I'm working the night shift at this one hospital, I'm unable to stay on the phone with her. I have been working lots of hours, close to 120-150 hours a pay period. What can i say, i love my job.

But anyway, as of late my girlfriend is starting to think that I'm cheating on her with a girl at my work. When in fact, I'm not checking any girl out. When she would call me and I can't pick up, she would text me nasty things like 'y aren't u texting me back', or 'your with another girl, thats y u cant call me', when the matter of the fact is just because I'm busy with work.

This has been going on for about a month now. I was hired at this job about 4 months ago. Now i feel like i get really irritated and annoyed by her because she nags to me that i don't call her or go out with her enough.

We even had a serious talk about this over dinner one night and yet she continues to do it, it drives me insane. What do you guys think? Any similar situations? Any suggestions?

Thanks
-John

[norajane]

Your night shift and the number of hours you work are going to be a constant problem, and you will drift further and further apart unless she can somehow become supportive of whatever it is you are trying to do with your career.

Is there ever going to be a change where you cut back on your hours or get onto a day shift? If not, I don't see you being able to work through this. She's going to feel more and more neglected, which is going to make her feel more and more insecure and suspicious.

You can keep reassuring her, and spending as much time with her as possible, but your job is going to make it very difficult to spend the kind of time with her that you used to. She either has to grow up and understand how important your career is, or you're going to have to cut down on your hours for the sake of your relationship.

[GuerreroAzteca]

I've sort of had a similar problem although more complex than that.

If you have been together for three years then it must be serious and you must both care much.

Take a couple days off make it all about her and simply communicate what is happening. Let her know she is the only one for you, fact is we have to work around our careers not be selfish so that you can keep your partner happy.

You must know she is completley justified in what she is feeling. But if you do what i told you above and i mean really really talk; if she really is emotionally invested she'll understand.

I'm a guy and was on the receiving end of something like that and me being paranoid and yes a bit insecure, i did not accuse her of cheating but did let her know i was worried. turned out to be nothing.

[Poboy]

she qualifies to be immatured enough to be dumped before she dumps you.
good luck.

[oppath]

I don't feel she is immature at all. I feel she is justified in how she is feeling, but struggles to communicate how she is feeling.

Dude, you do need to reassure her of your commitment to the relationship, and you need to do things to make her feel valued and a priority. It's as simple as that. What she wants, you can't offer, and she needs to be supportive of where you are, but you need to meet her halfway.