[Salicious Crumb]

is looking good.

No joke. Everyone here knows my story I'm sure.
Well, my wife and I got in a huge fight that she instigated....and guess what it was about....me going to the gym several times a week.

I guess she feels her best days are behind her and probably doesn't find herself attractive any longer...I guess thats one of the reasons she cheated no matter how many times I'd tell her how beautiful she was and showed her.

Anyway, she asked me..."who are you trying to look all good for". I was like WTF? I said I was doing this for me since she sure as hell wasn't going to help me with any self-esteem issues after her cheating.

I told her that I wasn't like her and I work out to improve myself for me and to feel good about myself. She insists that I am doing it to go out and revenge cheat on her. I assured her that even though she cheated on me that I wouldn't stoop to that level.

But oh is it ever sweet now that the tables are somewhat turned. She is now getting a taste of what she has dished out in the past even though I would never cheat. I believe that if I cheat on my wife I cheat on my children.

Anyway I told her.."doesn't feel very good when you think your spouse is f#cking around on you does it?...now you know how I feel" She started balling...it kind of felt good that she is in some pain...but bad at the same time. But the thing is...I didn't do anything to cause her this pain other than workout...geez.

So bottom line...if someone cheats on you and you decide to stay for whatever reason, kids...possibility of working things out...do something for yourself. I swear, if you look better than you ever had, your cheaters will be eating their hearts out of fear that you might show them what its like.

[Darth Vader]

She sounds like she's accusing you of cheating, but, she may be cheating still. Have you thought about that? Not that it matters, because we all know you'll boot her to the curb............ That comment to her may have exposed her to a little of the pain of betrayal that you have been feeling lately. She's been given no choice but to wake up, at least for that moment, don't expect that to last........

[Art_Critic]

Talk about a powder keg waiting to go off...

Both you and your wife need to be in MC if you are going to stay married..
Seeing/putting your wife in pain and enjoying it isn't love dude.. it is a twisted version of revenge..not worthy of someone with self respect

If you plan on keeping this marriage together then I would suggest a change in game plans.. revenge will tear it apart further not put it back together..
I'm not saying that you are not warranted in your anger.. but to continue to tear your family apart over revenge/anger is just as bad as her cheating

[Zona76]

If she is accusing you of cheating it does sound like some bells should be going off in your head.

You are not over what she has done. I feel it in your words. You stay because...just because. Not for any reasons of love. Dare I ask you why you stay? Did she at any time want out of the marriage? Or perhaps she was not getting enough attention from you?

You could invite her to come with you to the Gym as a guest to see how fulfilling the workouts are for you. I'm sure you could get one free session from the owner.
If you go 3 times a week you're not spending very much time with your lady are you?

[Ruby Tuesday]

This is a trick question.

SC would never cheat, it would be so far beneath him.

[IpAncA]

Isn't this sweet...SC, why are you and your W not in MC? It will be interesting to see how you two stay together (if you can) if you don't.

[Trialbyfire]

Ha...I understand the ironic equity in this...

The reality is something different. In all honesty SC, I hope you get out of that hell hole and find someone who's good for you. Good luck!

Btw, yesterday was a new start for me. I haven't felt this good and so free in a long time. He's finally flushed out of my system so I can move on completely. The reason I mention this is because I wanted you to know that there is hope and you can break free.

[Chapter2]

Sounds like you still really hate her. You always have sounded that way. At least you're consistent.

[outofdarkness]

yeah, I agree with this..It really throws them off, makes them suspicious and gives them alittle dose of their own med...

[Island Girl]

Didn't she cheat before you were married?

Either way you have some issues to deal with yourself. If you aren't in marriage counseling you should be in your own therapy program. You have dragged this crap around for a long time.

It seems there has been no moving past it because, for you, it is always part of your present.

Your post speaks volumes as to the bitterness and hatred in your heart.

I'm sure it comes out in your words and actions more often than you think. And if you think the children have no idea about this dynamic between you and your wife -- you'd be surprised.

Your relationship is unhealthy and the saddest part is it will be visited again through your children and the relationships they establish.

Please get help so they won't have to pay for your mistakes.

[NoIDidn't]

SC

You sure like kicking a person when they are down. Now you've turned it onto your W. How sad.

This isn't revenge, its slow torture. You even seem to enjoy it.

I went to the gym in the wake of my H's EA. And I was all the more ripe for some sort of A myself, but I was against re-opening that wound if for no one else but my own self. I look great too. My H jokingly, note JOKINGLY, asked me who I was looking so good for at the gym. I don't think that it means that he is still cheating. I think he honestly realized that he could lose me.

You have painted her as a worthless cheater. If you really want to reconcile for more than just the sakes of your kids, you need some help - quick. She doesn't deserve what you have been dishing. You really need to step off your high horse before something knocks you off.

[Great Gazoo]

I like Carrie Underwood's idea better in her song


That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Salacious is not cheating on his wife, she cheated on him that's first. All he is doing is working out and feeling good about himself, Boosting his self esteem up. Does it seem cruel?? possibly, is it torture, maybe.

But her parenoid delusions are the cause of her own infidelity and her guilt weighing down on her head. A man can be fat, or short but can still have sex with a woman. He isnt stepping out on her he's just doing that to make himself feel better.

I understand exactly what he's doing, he's showing her that in the event that they split up the next chick is gonna be hotter and so is he.

She cheated, If she can get to a place where she exhibits true remorse for her actions and improves herself and become his wife to the point where he can move on they can have a renewed marriage.

But it remains I want to know how things started, did she cheat in the begining? is she still cheating? Did she leave then come back?

What went on, Why are you here today?

[hardcase]

Originally Posted by Chrome Barracuda

Salacious is not cheating on his wife, she cheated on him that's first. All he is doing is working out and feeling good about himself, Boosting his self esteem up. Does it seem cruel?? possibly, is it torture, maybe.

But her parenoid delusions are the cause of her own infidelity and her guilt weighing down on her head. A man can be fat, or short but can still have sex with a woman. He isnt stepping out on her he's just doing that to make himself feel better.

I understand exactly what he's doing, he's showing her that in the event that they split up the next chick is gonna be hotter and so is he.

Thanks CB...by the way, its me under another name.

Well I am not working out for revenge...anyone that thinks that needs to think a little more.

I am doing it for me...so let me just address some of the things people have said.

1) I am bettering myself...the fact that SHE chose to start an argument over this is HER problem...not mine. I am not putting her through anything...think about it people...am I to stop trying to be healthy and look good because she doesn't like it?

She made this out to be her own revenge against her...not me. Do I think it is her getting a taste of her own medicine?...yes. But I am not doing it to piss her off...I am doing it because she sure as hell isn't going to do anything for my esteem...so I will do something for myself for a change.

2) Zona said: If you go 3 times a week you're not spending very much time with your lady are you?

I actually am going to the gym 5 days a week...but I always do it over my lunch hour. I am home every minute of every night with my family.

3) NoIDidn't said: "She doesn't deserve what you have been dishing"

Uh...just what have I been dishing? Working out? Bettering myself? I didn't start this argument over me working out...SHE DID. But when she decided to blast me over it, I blasted back....oh..I guess I shouldn't stand up for myself. She cheated...I work out...but its me that is dishing it to her?..puhlease.

4) Island Girl said, re: my kids...that I need to get help before my kids pay for "my mistakes"....uh..no. She cheated, not me. I am trying to deal with what she did...but for you to put this on me...well all I have to say is...LMFAO. But given your past I can see how you side with cheaters.

Bottom line people...all I am doing is going to the gym on my lunch hour.
THATS IT. She made this into an issue....not me.

Am I to stop taking care of myself because all of a sudden now she is starting to get jealous?

Like I said...do I find it fitting that she is now getting a taste of her own medicine?...yes, but I didn't do this to give her a taste of her own medicine...I am doing it for me.

[whichwayisup]

I'll add my 2 cents as it was brought up on another thread once before. HB vents here. Says what he feels, gets mad, upset, whatever...Venting is venting and it helps (just like joining a gym) so he doesn't go home with all this negative energy and take it out on his family.