[okkt21]

I'll try to make this long story short.

I was seeing someone from October until February, when he ended things. It wasn't unexpected, because we had been having a lot of communication problems, but it was extremely painful regardless. I love him, we had a very intense relationship, and there are a lot of good memories that were making it hard for me to accept things were over. He told me it wasn't necessarily over for good, but that he needed space and time but that he still loved me.

I became very depressed (I have a history of problems with depression) because he was also my best friend, and there was a huge hole in my life without him to talk to. When things became scary, I went to the hospital where I was admitted for a few days. He called me a few times while I was there and was concerned, but I was devastated because I knew he would blame the situation on himself (he did) and push me further away.

A few weeks later we were talking and decided to try and work things out- but as time went on he told me he didn't think we were going to get back together. I definitely didnt understand- we had been spending time together, watching movies cuddled up on the couch together, spending nights together and I had been extremely happy thinking that things were actually getting better and that our relationship had a chance. He told me it wasn't my fault, that it was him and he just didn't want to be with me anymore. Then he told me he had been fooling around with someone else. He said he didn't love me anymore. It was definitely probably the worst i've ever felt in my life.

I knew I shouldn't bombard him with questions of why why why , but I had to have some kind of reasoning. Eventually he said I was too much for him to deal with.

Come this month, I took a pregnancy test that came out positive. I told him about it and naturally he got scared, we're both students not to mention we're not together anymore. Upon finding out that i'm not pregnant from a doctor, he sent me a message that said 'either way this has made me realize how much i care about you and want to work things out.' He said he had told me he didn't love me anymore before because he wanted me to be able to move on.

I love him more than anything, and I do want to be with him, but i'm worried about his indecisiveness. Should I open myself up to get hurt again if he changes his mind? Any advice would be appreciated....

[norajane]

Upon finding out that i'm not pregnant from a doctor, he sent me a message that said 'either way this has made me realize how much i care about you and want to work things out.'

A message? He sent you a message? Sorry, but he didn't even have the balls to come to you and tell you this in person? Not even a phone call? So you could actually discuss this like adults and communicate and come to an understanding?

Take control. Call him and tell him he should give things some more thought so he can be sure of what he wants. Tell him when he's sure of what kind of relationship he wants to have with you, he can tell you face to face and ONLY THEN might you consider if that's what you want too.

[dropdeadlegs]

Twice this week alone I have had to explain to people much younger than myself that text and email communications are not appropriate for important personal issues. I guess when you grow up with a cell phone and a computer in your room, actual talking just goes by the wayside.

I see a horrible interpersonal communication problem between young adults in the making. My biggest concern is that they don't seem to acknowledge that this is a problem at all. I digress once again. I'm sorry about venting on your thread.

I second norajane's suggestion to speak to him about being SURE he wants to be with you. The waffling is not what you need, especially with the depression you have been feeling concerning the initial break up. It appears that he feels sorry for you one minute but that wanes. When he thought you were pregnant, he wanted to be there for you, but that may change soon, too.