[Mamamomo]

Ok so I know that my boyfriend looks at porn and I have come to accept it. But the other day I came home from work early and I found that he had looked at porn on the internet while watching our 4 month old son. I was so upset so I asked him where the baby was when he was doing this, he said the baby was on the bed watching a movie. I just don't think that its ok to do that. I told him I didn't want him doing that anymore and he said ok but it just makes think if he does this all the time while I'm at work.

[EC]

My bf is addicted to porn and I have accepted it as well. Though I hate it and it hurts! But I never thought to worry about the future and just reading your post I thought wow what if its like that. Him watching it while alone bored with a baby? lol

Oh no not cool. Did you already tell him that wasnt cool? Imagine the baby falls off the bad or chokes suddenly or anything!?@ and hes sitting there cock in hand wtf lol?

Sorry I just get emotional about it. Yea I suggest you tell him that you know he watches it, you accept it, but that while with the baby his attention should be on the baby not porn!

[Erik]

I'd be more worried that he let a toddler watch television.

[outofdarkness]

Originally Posted by Mamamomo

Ok so I know that my boyfriend looks at porn and I have come to accept it. But the other day I came home from work early and I found that he had looked at porn on the internet while watching our 4 month old son. I was so upset so I asked him where the baby was when he was doing this, he said the baby was on the bed watching a movie. I just don't think that its ok to do that. I told him I didn't want him doing that anymore and he said ok but it just makes think if he does this all the time while I'm at work.

NO!! It's not ok..My H, who is a sex addict did this with out babies and I had NO Idea. On the nights when it was his turn to get up for a diaper change or feeding, I just assumed that he WAS doing these things. Turns out, he was doing his thing on the comp...etc...and letting the baby cry..Wonder what sort of long term effects these actions have on kids??? Do you have a couple of days???

[Mamamomo]

He was really doing that??? How did you approach to to tell him that it wasn't ok him doing these things?? It just really upsets me because I have to work but now I worry the whole time I'm there.

[outofdarkness]

Originally Posted by Mamamomo

He was really doing that??? How did you approach to to tell him that it wasn't ok him doing these things?? It just really upsets me because I have to work but now I worry the whole time I'm there.

I didn't find out until two years ago...It all came out that he was cheating and an addict...His main OW wrote me a letter..and it all came out in the days following...The part about when the kids were babies came up finally, in couples therapy...It was part of the healing process for him to come clean w/ himself and me...I had NO idea that any of this was going on! I trusted him completely...AND I was convinced that anything out of the ordinary was because I was doing something wrong as a parent...

[Bobster999]

Attention all women: Stop being so paranoid about porn---it is just something that guys do. Take a chill pill.

[outofdarkness]

Originally Posted by Bobster999

Attention all women: Stop being so paranoid about porn---it is just something that guys do. Take a chill pill.

ok...but it makes me personally feel like i'm missing something or not good enough that he would have to look at porn..plus, it degrades women IMO...and i already took my chill pill..lol

[LoveLace]

Originally Posted by Bobster999

Attention all women: Stop being so paranoid about porn---it is just something that guys do. Take a chill pill.

I think most of us women accept that guys like to look at porn, and a LOT, but if you can't stop looking at it long enough to watch your kid, then YOU need to take a chill pill!!

It's just not something you should do while simaltaneously being a parent...for gosh sakes...

[allina]

What do you guys mean when you say your bf is ADDICTED to porn? Do all your bfs actually have addictions or do they just watch more porn than you think they should?

As for the watching the child while watching porn thing that's wrong and could even be considered abuse and neglect, if the child was in the same room and could see the porn even worse.

[Dadaal]

I think porn addiction is common nowdays. I would like to know if there is a possiblity of setting up a security company that checks on husbands and wives who are glued to comp...while one of them is absent?

Is there a way for ISP ( Internet service providers ) to control your online presence and your preference? Is it a legal to watch porn? Any clues?

[allina]

Originally Posted by Dadaal

I think porn addiction is common nowdays. I would like to know if there is a possiblity of setting up a security company that checks on husbands and wives who are glued to comp...while one of them is absent?

Is there a way for ISP ( Internet service providers ) to control your online presence and your preference? Is it a legal to watch porn? Any clues?

There are many ways to spy on what your SO is doing online. Did you mean is illegal to watch porn? It's legal, provided the people in the porn are of legal age.

[searchingforanswers]

Mamamomo, how are you and your SO coping with the porn use? As a man who is looking at his habits of porn and sex I will tell you that it's easy to believe you don't have a problem. I am coming to terms with the role pornography has played in my life and how it contributed to the damage and ultimate ending of my last relationship.

My ex-fiance and I were very adventurous and I always assumed that she was OK with the fact that I enjoyed porn. She acted like she didn't mind, we even watched together once and she told me she liked hardcore porn herself. What I never realized was that because of our adventurous nature we often lacked physical intimacy.

I never thought I had an addiction because I THOUGHT I only looked at it when i was bored. I never chose it over a person. I've recently realized that I do have an addiction and porn was a comforting stabilizer that I used to combat stress. While it is easy to rationalize porn as blowing off steam it actually inhibits real bonds from forming. I haven't stopped yet, but I have recognized that I do have a problem that I would like to control.

I understand your concerns regarding your bf and his interest in pornography. I don't know if what I shared has given you any helpful insight, but I thought it might be worth sharing. While I do think it is something that can be controlled together if you are willing to stick around, I imagine it could be a very painful process especially if he doesn't recognize his problem and is unwilling to address it.

[cn283]

Originally Posted by searchingforanswers

Mamamomo, how are you and your SO coping with the porn use? As a man who is looking at his habits of porn and sex I will tell you that it's easy to believe you don't have a problem. I am coming to terms with the role pornography has played in my life and how it contributed to the damage and ultimate ending of my last relationship.

My ex-fiance and I were very adventurous and I always assumed that she was OK with the fact that I enjoyed porn. She acted like she didn't mind, we even watched together once and she told me she liked hardcore porn herself. What I never realized was that because of our adventurous nature we often lacked physical intimacy.

I never thought I had an addiction because I THOUGHT I only looked at it when i was bored. I never chose it over a person. I've recently realized that I do have an addiction and porn was a comforting stabilizer that I used to combat stress. While it is easy to rationalize porn as blowing off steam it actually inhibits real bonds from forming. I haven't stopped yet, but I have recognized that I do have a problem that I would like to control.

I understand your concerns regarding your bf and his interest in pornography. I don't know if what I shared has given you any helpful insight, but I thought it might be worth sharing. While I do think it is something that can be controlled together if you are willing to stick around, I imagine it could be a very painful process especially if he doesn't recognize his problem and is unwilling to address it.

wow, its nice to hear a guy come to terms with it. good luck with everything your going through.

[outofdarkness]

Originally Posted by Dadaal

I think porn addiction is common nowdays. I would like to know if there is a possiblity of setting up a security company that checks on husbands and wives who are glued to comp...while one of them is absent?

Is there a way for ISP ( Internet service providers ) to control your online presence and your preference? Is it a legal to watch porn? Any clues?

Yes, it's legal to watch porn as long as it's not underage...Re: Is there a way to control online presence, etc., Yes, there are many programs that enable you to monitor and control what goes on as far as the comp..Most internet providers have parental controls, but this can also be used for adults! Check online to see what options you have w/ your provider. Also, there are some programs that enable you to see what goes on as far as comp. use..I have spectorsoft, but there are other out there as well...

There is a fine line there as far as being addicted to porn and just watching it too much. There has been much research into addictions; any addiction, being genetic. So...If you are predisposed to this sort of thing, there is a bigger chance that you will develop an addiction. There are plenty of people that can do all of these things in moderation and do not reach the addictive stage...This applies to any addiction. Only you BF would know for sure whether or not his life has become unmanageable due to the porn. Addicts are very good liars and extremely good at covering their tracks. Watch, listen and wait...You will soon know whether or not he has a true addiction..