I am in a very confusing situation. The worst part about of it all, i was aware of everything before it got to this point. Of course in the beginning i thought this was just going to be a fling because he was married. That's not what happened. I was concerned with him being married and having a relationship with me once i realized i wanted to be with him but he insisted that he was going to leave his wife whether he was with me or not. We have been together for a year and a few months now and he is still married. Matter of fact i am a secret!! His wife has no clue that her husband is in a relationship with me and lives with me. The part that confuses me is that he talks to her on the phone everyday like five times a day. Almost as if he is checking in with her. This really bothers me. I have asked him about this and he just says that he has to answer the phone because she has his kids. I think that is a bunch of crap. There are times when he tells me he is going to see his kids and then doesn't come home until the next day. I am not stupid so i know he is still being with his wife. Of course he denies it, but there is no other explaination for him not coming home. The man spends everyday with me and we have made plans to move out of state together but i am worried because i am getting deeper into this relationship and falling further in love with a man that i can never marry as long as he's still married. And where does that leave me?? Being with this man has made me realize that i have never really been in love before. I can't imagine not being with this man but what am i suppose to do if he never gets a divorce? Should i trust that is going to do as he says? It's been a year and i don't see his relationship with his wife at a end. I actually think she thinks they are just separted. I need someone with fresh eyes to help me see what's happening, i am blindly in love with this man. I feel like a fool for love.
For all you know he's told her he travels for work. Remember, this man has been lying to his wife, so chances are, he's lied to you plenty of times as well.
Why should he change things up? He has TWO women in his life. One who is the mother of his children...He has a home to go to, see his family, friends... Then he has you on the side - The secret.
Take back the control and power of YOU, and end it. Get therapy to help you cope better...It's just from what you've said so far it doesn't seem this man will leave his wife ever...And, how long do you want to be his hidden secret, the OW?
You deserve more. And more I mean, a man who isn't married, a man who will show you off the world. The MM you're with now isn't ever going to be the person you want him to be - He's married.
And, even if he did get divorced, and marry you, could you really trust him? Wouldn't you be concerned he would cheat on you?
If he has no guilt for sleeping with the separated wife and continues to do so, then no he doesn't love you and is just using you for the time being. Since he sleeps with his wife whenver he sees fit, he doesn't even really respect nor take your relationship seriously. He might divorce and he might not; either way, there is no reason to believe he will stay with you either or. All of this feeds his selfish ego as it turns him on.
We have been together for a year and a few months now and he is still married.
Matter of fact i am a secret!!
His wife has no clue that her husband is in a relationship with me and lives with me.
The part that confuses me is that he talks to her on the phone everyday like five times a day. Almost as if he is checking in with her.
There are times when he tells me he is going to see his kids and then doesn't come home until the next day.
It's been a year and i don't see his relationship with his wife at a end. I actually think she thinks they are just separted.
I'm confused too. When you say you think his wife thinks they are "just separated", that implies he has told you something different. What has he told you about his marital status? Does he say he is divorced and you don't believe him because he talks to her 5 times a day and spends the night with her?
Has he said he filed for divorce? Shown you the paperwork?
Maybe they are just separated - what makes you think differently?
The man spends everyday with me and we have made plans to move out of state together but i am worried because i am getting deeper into this relationship and falling further in love with a man that i can never marry as long as he's still married.
I think you have a better chance of shaking hand with Jesus than THAT happening.
Someone asked if you're the guys meal ticket - are you? Since he's mostly living with you, is he paying half the bills?
You can bet on this - when he's home, he's crying to the wife begging her for another chance. When he's with you, he claims he only talks to her because of the kids. I bet she'd have a VERY interesting story to tell you if you ran into her at the supermarket. VERY interesting.
Rule #1: Never believe anything a LIAR and CHEATER tells you.
Rute #2: See rule #1.
You stated you are a secret. I was a secret too. You are facing a brick wall. Not worth it. And I know all about the falling in love part. I did it too. Move on and find someone who will be available only to you, not easy, I know but the longer you go on with this, the harder it is to let go, trust me, it is a daily struggle.
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