My husband had many affairs and I told him I wanted a divorce, because I could never trust him again , he begged me to stay in our marriage and said he would never hurt me again and that he was going to prove that he would be the man I have been asking for and needing , because he could not live without me and loved me deeply and he would kill himself if he lost me , my response was prove it !

so we were seperated for awhile and decided for many reason for him to come back and we would try to get past the past ,

I week later i found out he was seeing someone the whole time he was surpose to be proving himself worthy the whole time telling me he only wants me and would do what ever it took to fix us .

My question is why would a man act this way ?

Fully knowing what would happen ? Why WHY WHY WHY WHY ?

[Tony T]

This is the behavior of a child. They call this arrested development. He never matured. Children do what they are forbidden to do. When caught, children promise to never do it again...but many just go right back at it.

Your husband may have some brain circuitry problems. He may just get a rush out of being caught. That's the theory behind many shoplifters who have more than enough money to pay for the items they try to sneak out of the store.

There is really no point in trying to speculate why your husband cannot be loyal to you. But he has proven to you many times and in many ways that he cannot be faithful. Any future disloyalty on his part will be YOUR FAULT entirely for giving him the additional opportunity.

Either you have to put up with your child and try to raise him (could take many years) or just get away from him.

Try to find a man who is more mature, more stable, more truthful, more loyal, more settled, and one who has more morals and ethics.

I am very sorry this has happened to you. It seems like you went way beyond what most women would do to give him a chance. Don't let him talk you into another round of trying. All he's doing is hurting you more. Maybe when he grows up in 25 or 30 years, you could get back together if you aren't with somebody at that time.

My question is why would a man act this way? Fully knowing what would happen ? Why WHY WHY WHY WHY?

because this guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. he wants the best of both worlds, because he simply can't help himself.

the fact that he's had many affairs, and i assume you have taken him back each time, only leads him to believe that he can keep having affairs and it will be alright because you will take him back each time. when he's not having an affair, he can fall back onto you, his safety net, his reserve.

this guy is behaving like a low-life piece of scum.

you deserve 100 times better than him. this behaviour will never stop. he is as dishonest as they come and eventually he will destroy your self-esteem, your self-respect and your marriage (if it isn't destroyed already).

do yourself a favour and get rid of him. for every person out there who cheats, there are thousands of others who have the capacity to be 100% faithful. and i think you deserve that, not this so called "husband" of yours. if he was mine, i'd kick his lying ass out the door so hard that he wouldn't know what hit him.

"My question is why would a man act this way? Fully knowing what would happen ? Why WHY WHY WHY WHY?"

He acted this way because he knows you'll take him back again! He doesn't believe you when you say you want a divorce, he's taking advantage of you! BUT, give him a surprise this time, no matter how much he begs and pleads and promises that it's the last time, DIVORCE him! He's cheated too many times on you, 1 time is even too many!