you are so welcome
i seriously felt like my whole world fell apart when my ex and i broke up. i was devestated beyond words because i loved him so much (well, i still do, but most of us will always carry a soft spot for someone during our lifetime).
i did not know where to start or what to do. like you, i rang my ex not long after we split up. because he was my best friend, he was the one person i wanted to talk to, but i realised after i hung up the phone it was a big mistake because i felt like i was back at square one and the hurt felt worse. not to mention, he was a bit pissed off that i felt like i needed so many answers. but i learnt - i learnt that no matter how many questions you have, there are not always straightforward, logical answers. and i also learnt NOT TO READ INTO THINGS (whoah, did i do that for a while!!). and NEVER analyse things. things would have turned out the way they did no matter what, because i honestly believe it's fate.
i also believe that even though i had a wonderful relationship with my ex and we were so close, that this is fate telling me that there is something even better waiting for me oneday.
re were times where i honestly felt i was losing the plot. i was so distressed i nearly had a panic attack in my room at 3am in the morning. i knew i had to get a grip on things then. my concentration at work was terrible and i had such trouble eating and sleeping - but that's normal and doesn't last too long.
i wrote and wrote and wrote....it's such a great relief. when i felt alone, i wrote. quite often what i wrote would bring me to tears, but it actually helps a lot.
you are right though - you can make it on your own. one of my friends said to me, "just think about what your life was like before he came into it. you managed just fine then didn't you?". and she is so right.
you will find yourself thinking about him HEAPS. but when people like you and i have such intense feelings for another person, no less can be expected.
if you feel sometimes that things are getting too much to handle, you can always e-mail me at
<e-mail address removed>
i know EXACTLY how you feel, and i'm more than happy to lend and ear, so to speak.
you'll get there in time, you really will.
p.s. please be careful when driving!!!