I recently found out, after I split up with my ex, that he had started to see someone before we split.

This has just absolutley broken my heart. I would never, ever have taken him to be the kind of person to do that kind of thing. I honestly believed he was so rapt in me. He was from the very beginning and appeared to be until the end.

I realize I'm lucky to be rid of someone who can do this, but I honest to God did not expect it.

I would really love some advice from people who have been through the same kind of thing. This has never happened to me before and it has just knocked me sideways and crushed me. I really, really loved him and had so much trust in him. I feel so deceived.

Thank you.

[Tony T]

To be human is to be capable of all things human. If you are with someone who has a head, torso, who breathes, eats and sleeps, you are with someone who has the capacity to cheat on you. That's just a reality. Many who choose to be very loyal sometimes happen upon a particular circumstance or set of conditions that tempts them to make an exception to their own rules.

I have a friend who was having some difficulties in his marriage. His wife phoned a minister she knew and went to him for counselling to help make her part of the marriage better. She ultimately divorced her husband and a few years later married the minister (true story, details furnished upon request: <e-mail address removed>)

There is just no way to say it more simply: people are human and capable of doing anything at anytime. If the President has got the nerve to get oral sex in the Oval Office of the White House...and then gets counsel from a married Reverend who around that time has gotten a young admirer pregnant...hey, anything can happen. (All this is true: Keywords: B. Clinton, J. Jackson)

I know you're hurting. To be cheated on is a truly crushing experience but a human one that happens all too often. It hurts me to read about what happened to you. But unfortunately we live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. And the cop you run to for help may be just as likely to molest you as the pervert you're running from. It's just reality.

The sooner you embrace reality, the sooner you won't be surprised about what falilble human beings do. We are certainly a strange breed.

The only way we can be truly deceived is to believe we are more than flesh and blood with frailties and defects that even some lower species are free of.

Now you know why they say reality is for people who can't deal with drugs.

Sorry to hear about your situation. If it's any consolation, at least you can be happy that you are rid of the cheater and that you are can get on with your life. I've just found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. Like you, I totally did not see this coming. You're over the hump though. Move on and find someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. It just sucks that we have to accept that there are people like this out there, who really don't care about anyone's feelings except their own.

I recently found out, after I split up with my ex, that he had started to see someone before we split. This has just absolutley broken my heart. I would never, ever have taken him to be the kind of person to do that kind of thing. I honestly believed he was so rapt in me. He was from the very beginning and appeared to be until the end.

I realize I'm lucky to be rid of someone who can do this, but I honest to God did not expect it. I would really love some advice from people who have been through the same kind of thing. This has never happened to me before and it has just knocked me sideways and crushed me. I really, really loved him and had so much trust in him. I feel so deceived. Thank you.

I went through the saem exact thing when my boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago. He told me that he wanted to be alone to get his life together and have time to think about what he wanted..blah..blah. Then I found out through the grape vine that he had been cheating on me with some "ugly girl". Even hearing that she was ugly did not make me feel better though.

That was probably the worst experience that I have ever been through. I felt rejected, decieved, manipulated, and depressed for a while. My advice is to eliminate any type of contact with your ex; put away any pictures or memorablia you have of him. Keep very busy, and try new things that you have always wanted to do but never did when you were with your ex. It is helpful to talk to freinds and family; but be careful who you talk to because you don't want your business spread. You will be fine; it takes time though.

Don't rush into another relationship too quickly though; give yourself time to heal. There are plenty of fish in the sea and someone out there who is truely worthy of your heart. Just be happy that you have him out of your life; cheaters are losers.

Smile, because when one door closes, another door will open with new opportunuites for you!

I recently found out, after I split up with my ex, that he had started to see someone before we split. This has just absolutley broken my heart. I would never, ever have taken him to be the kind of person to do that kind of thing. I honestly believed he was so rapt in me. He was from the very beginning and appeared to be until the end.

I realize I'm lucky to be rid of someone who can do this, but I honest to God did not expect it. I would really love some advice from people who have been through the same kind of thing. This has never happened to me before and it has just knocked me sideways and crushed me. I really, really loved him and had so much trust in him. I feel so deceived. Thank you.