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Archive A collection of the original messages posted on LoveShack.org's LoveTalk Forum from 1997-2001.

Old 12th January 2001, 4:59 PM   #1
Raekwon the chef
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Weight

My girlfriend called me the other day crying. ( i haven't seen her in like 2 weeks) She has had a problem with the level of iron in her body. It has been extremely low. She went to the doctor and the put her in the hospital for a few days. While she was in there, they hooked her up to all these IV things and they pumped all kinds of fluids into her body. The reason she is upset is because she says the fluids made her gain 25lbs and she now thinks she's fat. She says she scared that when i see her again that i will dump her because she says she looks fat. (i accidently told her a while back that im not attracted to fat people.) Im not that kinda guy, i would never want to hurt her feelings. She is constantly crying and keeps saying that she doesn't want to lose me and that im probably going to dump her because the fluid made her gain so much weight. I told her that everything is going to be fine and that she has nothing to worry about, but it doesn't seem to help. Has anyone ever heard anything like this? I really like her. I don't know what to do. She is highly upset and keeps crying. please help!!!!
 
Old 12th January 2001, 6:45 PM   #2
Tony T
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Re: Weight

She needs immediate psychological intervention. Not changing her attitude after numerous reassurances from you is highly irrational. These IV's may have changed some chemical component in her brain, causing her to be much more emotional.

There is perhaps a chance she has been dumped before by someone she loved because of a weight gain or other physical change...or she may have had girlfriends in the past who lost their partners due to sudden weight gain or other physical reasons.

This constant crying is typical of depression. Get her to seek medical help immediately. If she can't take your word that you will make no judgements of her, there is something wrong. It also could be that she has gained much more weight than she is saying. Most people, especially women, are very sensitive about their weight. I can understand how she may feel, for whatever reason.

You may want to talk to some medical personnel who can advise you on what she went through, the usual side effects, and how she may lose that weight.

If she absolutely refuses to see you, you will either have to wait until she gets counselling, until she loses the weight, or you will have to find another girlfriend.

This is a really weird case.
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Old 13th January 2001, 4:12 AM   #3
Laurynn
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Doesn't make sense, Raekwon

I hate to keep telling people here that I'm an RN cuz it might look like i'm bragging, I'm really not.

Let me assure you, IV fluids don't cause anyone to gain 25 lbs. Absolutely not. The body can only hold so much "fluid"..but not 25 lbs worth. A person can gain a couple pounds from "fluid RETENTION".....but not the amount she's talking about.

Is your girlfriend by any chance anorexic or bulemic? (very concerned about being extremely thin, to the point of starving herself or eating like a bird...OR, eating lots but ?secretly causing herself to throw up afterwards?)

I ask this because I wonder if she was hospitalized DUE to having an eating disorder.......and if they gave her fluids and possible nutritional supplements and or intravenous nutrition (called TPN=Transparenteral Nutrition), she might really SEE herself as having gained 25 lbs....even if she only gained a pound or two. People with eating disorders have a very very distorted body image perception.....and sometimes they are able to hide their disorder from friends and family.......did you ever see her without clothes? Did she look rather thin/skinny to you?

Are you close to her family or parents? You might want to talk to them and share your concerns with them.........see what they have to say. I don't often advocate a boyfriend/girlfriend going behind their partner's back to discuss that partner's health..it's really a private matter......but I believe there's a fine line between asking for personal info that's not needed to be known and find out information so that you can really understand, support and care for your partner.

By the way, people who are anorexic (anorexia nervosa) or bulemic (bulemia), they often become extremely low in iron...because they are simply not getting proper nutrition (either not eating or throwing up what they eat, so their body isn't absorbing the nutrients). They can also become very dehydrated too (which might explain the IV fluids she received).

Keep in mind, if this is the case....she might not even admit that she has an eating disorder....it takes a long, long time for an anorexic or bulemic to REALIZE they have a disorder. It's really a touchy issue for them.......

If you can find out for certain what's *really* going on, I suggest you do some research on the net about eating disorders. If you need some good sites, let me know and I can find some for you.

Laurynn

PS...keep us posted as to what's going on!
 
 

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