[georgejungle]

Boy is my Family Full of them...They act fake but
then kinda talk a lot of crap behind your back...

I actually hate my extended family. Way back when,
when i was a kid i loved them...But when you get older
you see how screwed up they are.

I hardly ever see my extended family (granny, Aunts, Uncles)
that much. I honestly like to stay away. They aren't downright
MEAN to me, they are just kinda "fake".

There was an incident 10 years ago where a cousin of mine was
molested by another cousin. A lot of the family refused to believe
this actually happened and insisted my gal cousin made it up.
Ever since then, there's just been a weird, gross feeling i can't
explain. I actually think it sucks that they still embrace this
cousin of mine and are proud of him, since he's now a
Grad Student.

Whatever.

Anyway, Everyone just seems to act like nothing ever happened
and chooses to never talk about it, But to this day, It makes
me sick and I feel like saying something sometimes. But i know
my mom wouldn't like that very much.

Christmas is coming up and I REALLY don't feel like going. It just
feels uncomfortable to me. I often bow out of family get togthers
I feel bad sometimes because these family members are dumb, they
probably don't understand WHY i choose not to come around much.
They're ignorant.

Just felt like venting.

[quankanne]

yep, relatives. Gotta love 'em even when you want to slap them silly for being so plastic/stupid. I've got a sister like that, and it drives me nuts, though for the most part her thing is that she's materialistic. And prefers to bury her head in the sand if she doesn't agree with what's being said. She's not a bad person, really, just fake.

are you at a stage where you can pick and choose the gathering you go to (i.e., not living at home still, and expected to obey your parents' edict that you attend the family dinners, or else …)? If that's the case, just opt to spend time with your folks when the rest of the clan's away, sometimes that's the least stressful.

out of curiousity, do you still keep up with your girl cousin? Knowing that you believe in her probably makes all the difference to her when it comes to family ...

[VandGsMom]

Well, count your lucky stars that you can see them for what they are and not fall into the same patterns.

And I agree with ^ on that staying in touch with the female cousin seems to be the most humane thing to do. Maybe have christmas with her? It would still be family, and really it would be the part of your family that needs you the most.....

L

[CardPlay3r]

Hi george...they sound like terrible people, probably your cousing was more hurt by noone believing her than the rape/molestation itself...

I totally agree with the others, don't go to christmas gathering, hell you might even cut them off completely for good...best thing to do is just spend it with your cousing and her/your partner(s) and let her know you always believed her.

[georgejungle]

My gal Cousin has since married and has a child and
all at a young age. She's had it hard, but has taken
on a somwhat normal life. She's moved away to another
state and Yeah, it has hurt her over the years that no
one really ever said, "I believe you and I'm sorry for what
took place, but i support you". She knows i care and that
I believe and support her.

It just has irked me over the years that everyone just
kinda swept it under the carpet. I can even remember my
own Grandmother saying once that My aunt (my gal cousin's
Mom) was just "out for blood", since my aunt was choosing
to bring the situation to light and get everyone to acknowledge
that my other cousin needed help, that this was Wrong, etc etc.
My family have their heads screwed on backwards, to say
the least. I guess they didn't want to cause a stir or cause a rift.

Everyone has their own lives to lead, i understand. I can see
it thru their eyes that maybe it was just a weird thing that
happened once, but no one ever made a big deal about it
and well, it's in the past, so what does it matter Now? But
that doesn't make it any better or change the fact that it
happened.

But anyway, I can pick and choose my family get-togethers,
you're right. And if i have something else to do during holidays,
i will.

Thanks for taking the time to read, i appreciate it greatly.
And thanks for the comments.