[shoesies05]

My ex-fiance was on a business training trip for three weeks. Before he left for the trip we had been not getting along so well, just little things here and there that add up but mainly money problems. The first week he was there he really was acting like a jerk, not being himself. I belive after hed been gone 2 weeks he cried to me every night on the phone saying how horrible of a person he was, how he wasnt worth anything, etc. I got so worried about him i left in the middle of the night to go to see him to help him through whatever he was going through. We were all happy in the morning but i got there right before he had to get to work and i went right to sleep. When i woke up i snooped because I wondered why he would be so depressed. I found a note to her and more evidence of what they did in his hotel room, so i asked him and he confessed. He slept with a girl he didnt even know practically! We have been together 2 1/2 years and had been enganged for 2 months when this occured. Well, he feels horrible. I was living with him but i moved away to a city 5 hours froj where he lives and we had dated though a lot when i was in town before for personal reasons. We are still talking, we are actually talking about getting married again. I am just so afraid that he is going to cheat on me again. Something doesnt feel right in my gut, either that he iw lying about something still or will lie someday. I am so afraid to leave him for good ( forever, because we really arent a couple right now but we act like it) because i love him so much i like to believe we could make it work. but then i am so afraid at the same time that i will be haunted the restof my life by his actions if i stay with him and that he might do it again. I am not sure of where my heart is at- and its two months after it occurred. I am scareed that if he could do this with some random girl, then what if he likes someone in the future or falls in love: what would he do then?

i know that a lot of the questions im asking myself are natural and anyone would ask them so i think that i will not always be wreaked with millions of questions. I just wonder what to do longterm and short-term. Does anyone have any advice, please it would be EXTREMELY helpful due to the fact that everyone i know hates him now for this and they all just want me to hate him too. but i can only love him, i will never hate him.

[shoesies05]

please reply. i would love to hear some advice.

[D-Lish]

It's hard to know what to tell you.

He did a really bad thing, and he betrayed your trust and put your health in jeapordy by having sex with someone else.

Do you trust him to never do this again? Your relationship won't survive if you can't forgive him and learn to trust him again.

I'd have a really hard time forgiving someone that did that to me.
You have to decide if you are able to get past this. Regardless, it doesn't sound like you should be discussing marriage at this point. You have to deal with the cheating first.

Think this is the first time this has happened?
Ever had any reason to suspect it's happened before?
Once, maybe you can forgive. Anything more than that you should cut him loose.

[shoesies05]

Its hard to say that i trust him after what he did. I want to believe he never will, but i cant be sure. Who could?

This is the first time this has happened and im talking to him still and we are trying to work things out. Its just very difficult for me because i get so paranoid at times and I dont know if i should listen to my paranoia or not. I think its something i will get over- im learning to.