Stefan,
You seem like a sweetheart, not a villain. Everyone's
replies may have sounded harsh; I think they just wanted to make sure they got the point across to you.
Sometimes a slap in the face rather than a gentle shove does the trick.
I think after you sort things out with yourself, you'll be just fine.
And hopefully you won't be alone this holiday season, but instead will share your love and feelings with someone special.

Have a beeeaaaaaaaauuuuuuutiiiiiiiifuuuuuuuuuuuul day!