[Celeste_Craftenstein]

Okay, so I'm dating my coworker who is 31 and I am 21. He is incredibly sweet, sensitive and kind. We share many of the same interests yet have enough differences to make it interesting. We both share the same faith and he has made a lot of life changes since dating me. There is only one thing I need advice on...

I still live with my parents and my dad STRONGLY DISAPPROVES of us. He has said it is "disgusting" that we are going out and that he doesn't want me "tied down to some old fogey [in comparison with my age.]" I don't want to talk about it with him, but it makes for a very uncomfortable home life. Please help.

[bluechocolate]

Fathers & their daughters. It probably wouldn't matter if he was the same age as you, then he'd be too young.

I don't want to talk about it with him.....

Then don't. If he brings it up you could say..... "I'd have hoped that you would be happy for me, or that you would realise I'm an intelligent adult who is capable of making my own decisions in these matters. Since that isn't the case please don't talk about this with me, it will only sour my relationship with you." .........or something like that.

Of course you could always move out.

[Celeste_Craftenstein]

Originally Posted by bluechocolate

Of course you could always move out.

Not an option. I do not make enough money to support myself comfortably on my own or I would have moved out years ago.

[funkify]

How long have you been dating for? If he says anything negative, maybe emphasise why your boyfriend makes you so happy, how much he cares for you etc. Parents worry mainly because they want their daughter with someone who makes them happy and not break their heart. Your father is worried that this guy is using you when in fact he is not. You need to communicate this to him. Of course you know this guy well so it's no problem to you, but your father does not know him and so can only think of him in stereotypical terms. Is it a possibility that your dad could meet your boyfriend even just casually to give him an idea that he's not a horrible person? The more he gets to know about him (in a good way) the more likely he will be able to understand and hopefully respect the relationship. Good luck

[Rooster_DAR]

Originally Posted by Celeste_Craftenstein

Not an option. I do not make enough money to support myself comfortably on my own or I would have moved out years ago.

As far as compatability and attraction goes, throw age out the window. You are still very young though, so at the very worst you will be with someone who might be more on the mature side.

The good thing is, the you both come from different era's which can make things more interesing.

Cheers!

[Celeste_Craftenstein]

Okay, let's also throw in that my dad is very conservative. My boyfriend has long hair (way longer than mine) and is very shy. My dad would think of him as a good for nothing because he doesn't look like a "normal" guy in his opinion. I am dreading them to meet. My boyfriend has only had 2 girlfriends in his entire life due to the fact he used to be overweight and is VERY shy. He's a very caring person who isn't "mature" in a relationship sense. He isn't using me just to get into my pants (because like I mentioned, he shares my faith and is waiting for marriage as well). But I don't know how to convey this. My father is extremely strict and I know I will get in trouble for daring to "talk back" to him.

[climbergirl]

My dad is the same way. When I dated a guy who was 46 (I was 23) and a guy 25 (i was 33), my dad ws disgusted and had an issue with the age difference in both instances. I think (hopefully) your dad will get use to it as he sees how serious you both are with each other. AND how he treats you will make a huge impression.

[Celeste_Craftenstein]

I suppose I just don't get the big deal. Shouldn't my dad be happy that my b/f isn't some drunken 21 year old frat boy thinking nothing except about getting me in bed?