creating a bit of anticipation...

hugznkisses21 · 12th October 2006, 1:15 PM

Hi there everyone....

This is one area I don't think I have been very good at!

So I have been seeing a creat guy for about 4.5 mths...eveything is great - he is wonderful, caring - we see eachother about 3-4 times a week which is wonderful because my ex never wanted to see me. He includes me in many thing and we sometimes just like to sit back and relax together - As I am a woman - I have the tendancy to worry and over think - probably more so than the average - I have my own personal reasons why but i talk to friends and family and my bf to help my feeling and so far - with some up and downs I think i am working through that....So the point of this thread..

I think im hijacking my own thread..lol...possible? - ok side note

Anyways....

As i was saying I see him about 4 times a week - somethimes more - and i love him to death and enjoy being with him that to me - not a problem...what I am not good at is - saying no - now friends have told me i need to do this sometimes to create anticipation and have him miss me - I agree totally

At the same time i dont want it to seem i dont care or im playing a game - he doesnt deserve that and he also needs to know that i love him and have no other intentions.

So i guess my question is - how do i create this anticipation and make him miss me with out making it seem like im not intersted or im ditching him or that im playing a game. Some say that me agreeing to see him so much allows him to feel comfortable too soon and that i need to play hard to get!

AHHH so many rules ya know - HAHAHAH

im sure he misses me but im also sure he is comfortable with the idea that he takes up most of my time. To me this is hard cause i just adore my tiem with him and when im not with him i do miss him...YES thats the feeling i want him to have when im not with him!! hehehe

So i guess help! LOL

And is any of this nessesary - will he really get bored of having me all the time?

hugznkisses21 · 13th October 2006, 1:05 PM

ok you guys usually all have alot to say - common now....LOL

moman · 13th October 2006, 3:12 PM

Go ahead, play that game. I hope he finds someone else.

When you are comfortable with someone going back to game playing is a step in the wrong direction. Why do you want to screw up a good thing?

hugznkisses21 · 14th October 2006, 1:00 AM

"I hope he find someone else"

Thanks a lot poster...thats was mean

if u read it this is about me - not playing a game but balancing myself and learning to say no and have my time to better the relationship and give him time to miss me....

and being the way i am i took that personally - hope u are happy...

funkify · 14th October 2006, 1:10 AM

It is tricky and a fine line between game playing. Nevertheless, you do need to 'remind' him of what he's got.

I think one way of doing this is making sure you have an active life outside of your relationship. Not only is it good for you to have other hobbies, but it reminds him that you don't solely rely on your boyfriend to make you happy. You have hobbies, friends, work etc to keep you busy and fulfill your life. So if he can't make a date, you're not stuck at home etc. If he wants to make a date when you've already made plans, dnt ditch your plans for him. By ditching your plans and always being available you make it very easy for him to take his time with you for granted. It is very easy to neglect your 'single life' when in a rship but you need 'me' time just as much as 'we' time. By doing this, you are not playing games but just establishing a healthy balance in the rship.

moman · 14th October 2006, 5:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hugznkisses21

"I hope he find someone else"

Thanks a lot poster...thats was mean

if u read it this is about me - not playing a game but balancing myself and learning to say no and have my time to better the relationship and give him time to miss me....

and being the way i am i took that personally - hope u are happy...

I'll be happy when you report that you have decided NOT to play games with this guy. I can't see how you are wanting to do anything else; you said you wanted to make him miss you while you also said things are great. What do I not get here? Don't let some off-fantasy that he doesn't miss you enough screw up a good relationship.

(BTW, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings)