[cpt101]

Gday guys,
Just wondering if this is sounding normal-
Recently broke up with my GF of 11 months - ( My records 12- so close)
She is deep down an amazing person, just has an issue with commitment, and being 22, she wanted to do the whole 22 y/o thing of partying, being independant, no tie downs etc. ( Which Im starting to think is a phase many girls go through, a previous one broke up with me for the same reason at the same age, BTW Im 26)
All that is fair enough and the last thing I want is her feeling trapped.
This all manifests in her pushing me away at times, and absolutely convincing herself she doesnt love me anymore only to let it slip that she does at other times, even though shes seing someone else already.

She broke up with me, but I was close to doing so too myself, all the backflips meant I was tiring of the head F***.

Shes started to date someone else ( how serious Im not sure, and I feel like its her way of convincing herself she doesnt need me, )

Ive been offered a job on the other side of the country, a fantastic career opportunity- Plus the city Im moving too has tons of hot women and for some reason down to earth and friendly- compared to where Im coming from. I was recently there for a couple of weeks and had a BLAST, she hardly crossed my mind.

Now Im back, getting all packed up, and I cant stop thinking about her. I hate going to sleep and waking up without her. I know shes not for me right now. I know Im going to be fine. I know this new move will be great. I know we werent doing that great for a while. I know there is plenty more fish inthe sea I know that even if we arnt right now, in a few years time whos to say.

I know im probably better off.
BUT, if I know all these things, 1.why do I miss her so much? 2.Why does the idea of another relationship sound un-appealing?. 3.And how come girls can jump from one into another, especially when she wasnt leaving me, she was leaving relationships to explore herself? And is it just a coincidence the other guy has come along only after I told her I was moving?

[amaysngrace]

Originally Posted by cpt101

I know im probably better off.

BUT, if I know all these things, 1.why do I miss her so much? 2.Why does the idea of another relationship sound un-appealing?. 3.And how come girls can jump from one into another, especially when she wasnt leaving me, she was leaving relationships to explore herself? And is it just a coincidence the other guy has come along only after I told her I was moving?

I think you're missing her because she's familiar, and you're in the midst of facing change. It's really not about her so much as it is about YOUR life situation. You yourself said you were thinking of breaking it off just before she did.

If she is willing to jump right into another relationship, that says a lot about the person that she is. Most level-headed people I know don't do this. They take time after a break-up for themselves. Seeing how she has and you're not even close to being ready to tells me you and she really aren't on the same page mentally.

Congratulations on the new job! It's exciting to face the unknown, and it's a very bold move on your part. Try to focus on your future and leave the past behind. Best of luck!

[cpt101]

Originally Posted by amaysngrace

If she is willing to jump right into another relationship, that says a lot about the person that she is. Most level-headed people I know don't do this. They take time after a break-up for themselves. Seeing how she has and you're not even close to being ready to tells me you and she really aren't on the same page mentally.

Yeah, shes' one of those people who I call "careeer girl/boyfriends", usually from a fear of being alone. I just hope for her sake she either has or will do what she needs to in order to get her head straight. Otherwise shel be doing it all over again. Shes a real life Runaway Bride! Ive helped her through some major issues, but now shes at a stage where she needs to continue to grow without support.

I need to make the transition to a stage where I begin putting my own best interest first (Not something thats naturally in my personality trait). Ive come to the ralisation that the only 2 people on the planet who HAVE to put your needs above there own is your parents, everything else is up to you.

Thanks for the encouragement too, this move will certainly be fun!

[cpt101]

and BTW, "Level Headed" is not at all a way I would describe her! But that was half the appeal