I've read some of porn threads on site and realize alot of women and men have differing views on porn. I have no problem with occasional watching of porn. Sometimes we watch it (not that often though) as a prelude to having sex. But the last time we were getting ready to have sex my spouse said: "Wait, we gotta put the porn in first." Watched about 10 minute of it, then started having sex. Now, this is the part that sort of bothers me. After a bit of oral, we start actual intercourse.
The tv is located to the right of bed and the whole time he was having intercourse with me he kept his head turned to the right watching the porn, except for a few brief turns of head back to me. I ended up feeling sort of like I was just the designated h***. Does any of you other guys out here do that, or have an opinion on that? Guys and girls I mean.
The tv is located to the right of bed and the whole time he was having intercourse with me he kept his head turned to the right watching the porn, except for a few brief turns of head back to me. I ended up feeling sort of like I was just the designated h***. Does any of you other guys out here do that, or have an opinion on that? Guys and girls I mean.
Do you need other people's opinions to figure out how you should feel about this? Sex is meant to be enjoyable for you too, and only you can really decide what you're okay with and what you're not okay with.
If you're not okay with him watching the tv while he's having sex with you, then you need to let him know that. As long as you don't say anything, I can pretty much guarantee he'll assume you're fine with it....and, of course, the longer your sex life follows a particular pattern the more difficult it will become for you to express your dissatisfaction.
Do you need other people's opinions to figure out how you should feel about this? Sex is meant to be enjoyable for you too, and only you can really decide what you're okay with and what you're not okay with.
If you're not okay with him watching the tv while he's having sex with you, then you need to let him know that. As long as you don't say anything, I can pretty much guarantee he'll assume you're fine with it....and, of course, the longer your sex life follows a particular pattern the more difficult it will become for you to express your dissatisfaction.
I agree with this totally. You need to let him know you don't like it. My husbands has watched tv before also. Glad I'm not the only one. It wasn't porn but sometimes he likes to catch the scores on ESPN. What I do is make sure the tv is off or turn it off and then throw the clicker. This way he has to get up to turn it off or to change the channel. He only does this sometimes but the porn thing I would put a hault on big time. The only porn that should be going in the room is you and him.
When I told my ex bf that I was very upset that he was watching the playboy channel on tv while having sex with me, he had no clue I was bothered by it.
Let your SO know asap if some things bother you!
(btw, for the record, I'd be feeling the same as you do)
(btw, for the record, I'd be feeling the same as you do)
Me too....though rather than feeling degraded I'd probably feel embarrassed for him regarding his lack of awareness. I'm not a very tolerant person insofar as I really don't expect to have to spell absolutely every little thing out for a partner - even though in this particular scenario I advised the OP to clearly let her bf know how she feels. I did that because I'm assuming that despite his apparent lack of consideration, she wants to try to make a go of the relationship.
The "we're not mind-readers" line of logic that comes up from time to time on this board often smacks of poor communication skills and/or laziness. Of course there's frequently a need for very clear communication, but I tend to think that if a guy lacks any basic ability to read body-language and apply empathy to figure out how his partner is likely to be feeling, then it raises doubts as to how emotionally rewarding a relationship with him is ever going to be.
Do you need other people's opinions to figure out how you should feel about this? Sex is meant to be enjoyable for you too, and only you can really decide what you're okay with and what you're not okay with.
If you're not okay with him watching the tv while he's having sex with you, then you need to let him know that. As long as you don't say anything, I can pretty much guarantee he'll assume you're fine with it....and, of course, the longer your sex life follows a particular pattern the more difficult it will become for you to express your dissatisfaction.
NO, I am not asking how I should feel about it as I already said it made me feel like the designated h***. Although porn has occasionally been on during sex, this is the first time he has literally watched it throughout our having sex. I think I am more into the "why" mode right now. Lately, it seems he has been more disinterested in sex with me (bored, maybe?), and although I have tried to initiate new things, he seems rather lackluster. I have tried also discussing our declining sex life with him too and that seems to sort of fall of deaf ears too. I don't know what I was trying to ask with this post--hell, maybe I am just feeling insecure at the moment.
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