[BeFree]

It sounds like you are really trying to explain yourself. I think you know that your attitude is self distructive to your relationship but you are trying to justify your actions. Your SO is trying to show you that by expecting him to please you with the perfect gift instead of loving him for who he is, is going to ruin your relationship. He is probably terrified that you are using him for these gifts and that you will not love him or respect him if he can't buy these for you.

If you can not see why your actions are wrong, then there is no help for you here.

Also, you say that YOU enjoy doing these things for HIM. We'll that is great but unfortunately, men usually have their own way of doing things and are not planners they way women are. If you want this to be a sucessful marriage, you need to stop expecting so much.

[RecordProducer]

Originally Posted by june06

now we had a talk this morning and now he says that because of my self destructive habbits he does not know anymore if we should get married..

It's easy to get married; it's hard to stay happily married.

that it is about the trust in relationship - that i should have known that he will not give me only the phone for my 30 bday (how could I - year before last he gave nothing for my bday).

You couldn't have known and if you analyze it that way, he shouldn't have played with your feelings. I don't know his financial status but if he is a millionaire, of course, you thought that you mean nothing to him if he bought you a cell phone only. But the important thing is - you never show disappointment with somebody's gift no matter how cheap or ugly it is! You should've just smiled and said: "Thanks" and he would've gotten the picture. You shouldn't get upset. But that's not the important part anyway.

when i emailed today asking if we are splitting up - he did not respond... i also think he got really disqusted yesterday when cleaning after me..

It means you are NOT splitting up. I don't think he was disgusted by your puke, but by your whole behavior.

what do i do?

You apologize and promise to behave in the future. And keep your promise!

thanks RecordProducer!

i guess the good news is we are not splitting up... moreover - now all is back to how it used to be.. wedding planning etc

the other part is - i truly dont see myself being as wrong as people on this board (or general i guess ) see me over the situation.

and re-thinking what beFree was saying - may be it is not right for me to get married, if i dont see myself being wrong.. it kind of really proves that the marriage will fail.. i really never before questioned that..