[breyedgirlbc]

Hey there, i guess i just feel the need to blog here for some other opinions of people that aren't my friends, or to see if anyone else has been in the same situation. I am a 32 year old women, and i have met a 19 year old guy with a great personality and heart, and we have hit it off right away. I have never dated a guy this young before, but have dated younger then me, as well as older. So far from what i know from this guy, he is mature beyond his years, as he's had to grow up fast because he didn't have the greatest family life, and had to learn to take care of himself from a young age. I have dated guys older then me who act like they are 16...so i guess what i am asking is should age really matter here. I can't seem to let go of the age difference!! I mean we are both legal adults, and its just "there" with us, we have connected on so many levels. I am not sure what to do, as i really like him, but seem to keep bringing up the age difference, which is making him uncomfortable...he hates that i am making age a problem. How can i help myself get past this, and just accept it and learn to just look at him as a guy i am dating, not a "19 year old guy i am dating". We have not slept together yet, so its not about sex. I have gotten nothing but good feedback from my friends and i do know many other people with 10-12 year age differences that turn out to be great and end in marriage. We've been dating a month now, but have known one another for 6 months. Is there anyone out there that has been in the same situation that has any advice, or even someone who hasn't been there, but feels they have some input they can throw my way, i would greatly appreciate it!! Thank-you,

[basscatcher]

I have dated 13 yr age difference in both ends. I am almost 37. The man I dated who was 13 yrs older had issues with age. I didnt at the time but now when I look back we did have issues. We had different interests that were connected to maturity. I wanted to go out dancing and hang out with friends. He wanted to just go to a sports bar drink beer and watch tv. I wanted to move about he didnt. He was energetic-he went to the gym every day I didn't. I had an interest being around the energy of younger people and my peer group. He desired the more laid back and settled energy of people in his age group.

Then the guy who was 13 yrs younger, Wow he rocked my socks off. I enjoyed him for the time I had him. It always haunted me in the back of my mind that one day he would move on to a female closer to his age because I am getting older. I am starting to get fine lines, my weight is good but it fluctuates by 5 lbs all the time, my reproductive system is slowing down and he wanted to have kids someday, my tits and a$$ will fall. I was always concerned he would lost interest in me faster cause he could grow old with me and he would be drawn to females is own age. We also lived 3 1/2 hours apart. I enjoyed the time I got to share with him, I learned from him and experienced him. I still cherish him today. He disappeared on me. I don't know what happened to him. He went aloof and hasnt returned any phone calls or text messages. I think he moved out of state. He mentioned he was moving out of state and starting a new job that will keep him super busy. The last call i got I missed and he left me a sweet breif msg to call him back and when I tried I met him vm too. We never did connect.

I have chosen to move on and am. I still think of him but I believe he is gone. I cherish my time with him. He was sweet, caring, affectionate, fun, charming, very handsome, shared similiar interests and values. I wish him the best where ever he may be.

**Be honest with yourself first of all.
If you know what could happen, in all reality, in the future and if you think you can handle whatever happens by all means I would enjoy him.. Learn from him, but if you are afraid of being hurt if he should move onto younger pastures as you age then rethink it.
This is just MHO.

[mental_traveller]

Why don't you just stop thinking about it and enjoy his company? Us guys do it all the time - do you think a man 13 years older than his girlfriend would have a problem with the age difference? Why shouldn't a woman be able to do it with no qualms either? Besides, it's pretty shallow to judge someone by the number on their birth certificate. It just seems like you're making a big deal out of something trivial. Try to put things in perspective and focus on the things you like about him, instead of worry about the age gap.

[lost_in_chgo]

It isn't likely to work long term. When it's an older man and a younger woman it has a better shot. Women seek security, men can have children at an older age, men are looks oriented, men don't show their age as quickly above 30, all these factors make the older man younger woman scenario more workable than the younger man older woman scenario for long term. For short term it doesn't matter.

Is the age difference bothering you or is it that you know it isn't going to work?

You can stop worrying about it and enjoy him if all you are looking for is a date.

If you are looking for a family, you might want to move on. At 19 or 24, he's likely to go over the wall on you as soon as you try to have a serious "where are we going" kind of talk or make any demands on him. Until then he'll think it's the greatest thing in the world.

I've seen it happen quite a few times to women I know who were dating younger men in their 20's. The guys were all gung ho about things (sex) until the woman starts talking about kids or a house and then the panic and run. At 19 he is not in this relationship for the long haul, whatever he might think.

[helena abadi]

a big age difference did not stop me from being in a long, successful relationship with younger man. and he loved the way i looked.

be aware people's expectations at 19 and 32 are very different, and accommodate them, where you think it is reasonable. take it slowly, have a great time.

[helena abadi]

oh, i forgot to say ... i never looked at the guy i was dating as a toy boy or anything disrespectful like that. i respected him totally. there was always the nagging fear he would find someone younger. we could never have married, and kept that as a reality check.

padameckla covers the issues well.

[Woggle]

I am a 26 year old man in love with a 41 year old woman who just might be the one. She is everything I have ever wanted in a woman and I would be an idiot to let age get in the way. If everything else is good don't let agre stop you.

[helena abadi]

Originally Posted by Woggle

I am a 26 year old man in love with a 41 year old woman who just might be the one. She is everything I have ever wanted in a woman and I would be an idiot to let age get in the way. If everything else is good don't let agre stop you.

woggle, i'm delighted for you. my heart jumped with joy to read your post. don't let anything stand in your way. i wish you every happiness.

[Woggle]

Originally Posted by helena abadi

woggle, i'm delighted for you. my heart jumped with joy to read your post. don't let anything stand in your way. i wish you every happiness.

Thank you. The funny thing is that I feel I relate to her more than the women my age. We just connect on so many levels. It is one of those relationships that just feels right but you can't decribe it with words. Why let age stand in the way of this.

[breyedgirlbc]

Woggle....Thanks for your post, it helped me to look at things in a different light, its nice to have a guys point of view whos in a similar situation. Your lady sounds lucky to have a great guy like you too!! Take Care