Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
RecordProducer: You are so right! My bf is still mad about me for having looked at his stuff. But I think that he is more mad b/c I found something - not invaded his privacy - he is making me out to be the bad guy. If there was nothing to find then there would be no issue.
insanelyjealous: don't let him turn this around on you! Be more concerned with what you found - not how you found it!
klahaniegal: you would show your cell b/c you have nothing to hide! that is what I thought when I took a peak at my bf's e-mail!
What I am doing right now is not explaining myself anymore - I think that he has some explaining to do and I am going to wait and let him do it. By telling him what you found and that you are sorry for finding it he has the ability to be mad at you. Don't let him - get the upperhand by telling him that he has to explain - not you!
At least this is what I am doing? Does anyone agree?
Actually it has given me a real sense of relief to have decided to handle things this way. He has some explaining to do and by taking the blame for snooping you are letting him shift the attention off of his wrong doings.
So yes it is wrong to snoop ..... but only an issue if you find something!
And if he can't explain it or doesn't work to have you regain your trust he is not really in love with you and not worth the heartache.
By telling him what you found and that you are sorry for finding it he has the ability to be mad at you. Don't let him - get the upperhand by telling him that he has to explain - not you!
At least this is what I am doing? Does anyone agree?
LOL well i confronted my guy last night over his phone and he gave it to me. There were calls for 2 weeks on it. My fears unfounded but then again erasing could have been done .. I actually think he was relieved . By the way, his change of attitude was due to the comment i made about ' us doing our own thing' for now on. He didnt like it at all , I guess I was bowing out of this cat and mouse game and he got scared. Its all too stupid.
Good for you klahaniegal, I really hope the same thing works on my end. I have stepped back and left my man to figure out just what the heck he was doing! Good to hear that it might just work!
We did have our disscussion where I told him that I had gone through his phone, He said he didn't know who the girl was and that they had only communicated through Text messages. Apparently she found his number in her phone under "My Baby" ( this is my pet name for him) So excuse me if i'm still a bit suspiscious. I asked him for her number so that I could speak to her because if he doesn't know her then there is no reason for her to be texting him and I'm more than happy to tell her this as he claims he does not want to talk to her, he said he'll give me her number when he gets back. ( He's in Belfast on business so this whole conversation was over the phone)
Anyway to cut a long story short he was a bit upset that I had looked through his phone, we talked about all the other issues and then I asked him if he wanted to end the conversation he did he then switched off his phone for the rest of the night ( I know because I sent a txt which he didn't get until after 3am this morning) So I have to assume he is pissed at me.
I guess we'll have a lot of taliking to do when he gets back
he said he'll give me her number when he gets back.
Isn't that convenient. There is no way you can trust anything she would say to you now. This gives them plenty of time to 'synch up' their stories. If he had nothing to hide, he would have given you her number right away.
This 'calling her' approach will no longer work, because he will have tipped her off about it. You'll have to consider some other ways of getting to the bottom of this.
__________________ ...they think everything is smiles and sweetness and flowers, when there is something bitter to taste. And to pretend there isn't is foolish. -- edie sedgwick
Apparently she found his number in her phone under "My Baby" ( this is my pet name for him) So excuse me if i'm still a bit suspiscious. I asked him for her number so that I could speak to her because if he doesn't know her then there is no reason for her to be texting him and I'm more than happy to tell her this as he claims he does not want to talk to her, he said he'll give me her number when he gets back.
I have to wonder about his explanation. How did his number get in her phone under "My Baby". I'm not very knowledgable about cell phone clones but could this be the case or not? Would your contact list (or parts of it) be captured if the phone was cloned? It doesn't sound right to me. You might consider checking with your phone co. or checking some of the cell phone forums to ask that question. (If your phone has been cloned then that's another matter that you would obviously want to clear up... as will your phone company... criminal charges can be brought against her!)
I also agree that if he had nothing to hide that he could have given you the number over the phone (or hung up, checked the number, and called you back; or if it's a cloned phone wouldn't it just show up as your number?) Also, why didn't he mention it to you earlier. That's a lot of txt from someone he doesn't know. If he's telling the truth it would seem to me that the large number of txt would be annoying to him and he would have mentioned it to you in general conversation.
I don't mean to fuel your suspicions but now that you've opened the can of worms can you really put your head back in the sand? From what you've said about your trust issues I rather doubt it. The truth can hurt and many times I've wished I didn't know the truth about my own situation, but I've invested 20 years in my marriage and have a young child. Although you've bought a house together do yourself a favor and do some research to get to the bottom of this before you invest any more time or money in this relationship. I personally don't think you should have to work this hard, or worry this much, so early on in your relationship.
i agree with the last poster...Trust is a huge issue for me as i was married for 16 years to a man who died of a heart attack. Three months after he was dead i found out from several women that he had affairs with them. I was furious...I ended up going a bit wild , severed relationships both with so called friends and inlaws. So the end result being major suspicion in my new relations with men. I just wont put up with another liar. im sure it is not easy to live with me but hey "I wont be fooled again"
Ok some of you might think i'm very stupid but here goes, after much debating with myself I decided to surprise my fiance on his return with a romantic candlelit dinner. I planned a little scavenger hunt for him to find the things that were needed for him to have dinner (Roses, Teddy, a bottle of wine, and a specially made CD) I wanted to make him feel really special and do something for him that no one else has, before I jumped into accusing him of things.
Everything actually went really well we talked about a lot of things, our relationship, what our future plans are and if we are still ready for our plans and of course this girl. It's the first time that I have felt he's been whole heartedly honest with me and so I have decided that I am going to take his explanation without speaking to her as there's no point now like a few of you guys have said.
Anyway as I was saying i'm going to try and be a trusting fiance and at least believe him this time and if there is a next time then I'l know exactly what I have to do!
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