[NatoPMT]

Last night, my boyfriend and had a little wierdy situation. Unusually, my bf was being a little cold to me, I told him that whatever was bothering him it wasn’t worth being distant and he should talk to me. He said he was feeling a bit worried about a conversation we’d had which really shocked me, I really didn’t feel the conversation justified such concern – I started to worry that I couldn’t be as perfect as he might want me to be. He realised it was escalating and said ‘ok, I’m just going to say it….whats really bothering me is this…I know I shouldn’t have, but when you were in the shower I was feeling insecure so I looked at your phone and saw xxxxxx’. What he saw was totally innocent. He then asked if I was angry that he looked in my phone as he’d invaded my privacy. I wasn’t, and told him I had nothing to hide from him so it didn’t bother me, and that actually I was impressed that he’d admitted doing that, taking that risk to sort out an issue that was bothering him. And he’s not the sort of person to admit insecurity, he’s very strong emotionally and I felt that him admitting vunerability to me was a big step.

I thought about this and wondered why people are so protective of their privacy. I cant help thinking its because they have something to hide. If an SO was consistently checking up on their partner, there would be an issue, not with privacy but with trust and control. But if it’s a one off, or its something the person feels they have to do once in a blue moon to put their mind at rest, or as long as the SO doesn’t systematically rely on snooping for reassurance or information – then why do people get so offended by it? For me personally, I have no element of my life that I would want to hide from my SO, and I am not doing anything I shouldn’t be, so I have no problem him reading my texts every now & again. In my experience, ‘private’ people usually aren’t open and honest, they have something about themselves they are ashamed of or need to hide.

If my mother looked through my things, I would be angry and accuse her of invading my privacy. That’s because I don’t want her knowing what I do all the time, but my bf I have nothing to hide from.

What do you think? Would you have been angry if your SO read your texts?