[Woggle]

It is true that most divorces are filed by women. Men are playing russian roulette when they get married which makes me wonder why men even bother in the first place. I tell my little cousin who is 14 never to get married. I tell him to get a good education, get a great career and enjoy his life.

[clandestinidad]

Then why the heck do you waste your time on a website about love and relationships?

oh yeah, you answered that one before on another thread

Besides the fact that no one, namely YOU since you were the OP, has answered my question (which I've asked twice) about women who've had abortions as opposed to women who actually kept their children....do you think that's better than dating someone with kids?! (there, now its been 3 times, and hopefully you'll address it now)

So what, these people who got pregnant and didnt have abortions to get rid of it are somehow WORSE than those who DID get rid of it?!?!?!? As if its better to date them b/c they dont have evidence of having sex?!?! (even though they might be the bigger slut/whore) And your advice to men is that its better to date a girl that killed her child/fetus, rather than one who is sacrificing her life and living her life for her child?!?!?!? COME ON!!!!

I'd still like to know if ya'll would prefer dating a woman who's had abortions....b/c then she doesnt have the horrible child-baggage

edit to add: Also, how would you KNOW if she ever got pregnant and killed the child/fetus!!? You'd probably be dating someone who DID make bad choices (getting pregnant, abortions (if you consider that a bad choice or not), etc etc) but you wouldnt know, b/c "well, she doesnt have kids, so I'll date her".....duuuuuhh.....get a clue

[Neptune]

There is nothing wrong with getting married. But some people, being puzzled about it themselves, will remain single. Most of the time it just happened. So, telling someone to never get married is probably not the right approach. Telling someone to be careful may be of value!

[Merin]

Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall
I don't know if that fits the true definition of a double standard.

Having children and being single has a different ramification for women that it does for a man.. Unless he has custody.

Women bear the brunt of child rearing after a divorce and that causes all kinds of issues for dating and relationships.

The divorced men don't have the child rearing to deal with therefore when they date they might prefer a woman with no kids.

Makes perfect sense to me..

It is a double standard.

Regardless... For ME, I wouldn't date a Guy who has Kid's and DIDN'T want to be a part of his Little People's lives, or refused to be responsible for how they are growing up and what they are doing... I wouldn't date a Guy who felt the well being of his children was his Kid's Mothers job only...

IMO when or if a person could turn thier back on the people they helped create, then you had better stand the hell by with regards to what they would be capable of doing to you.

As a Single Mom there might be a lot of things I would *prefer* with that said, I prefer to date a Guy who is good to go with my wee peep's, and being that my boyfriend is also a single parent, I am so glad that he has stepped up and stayed involved with his Kid's, spends time with them, and is proud to be a good Dad single or otherwise... he loves his kids and is there for them.

My EXH is the Dad who doesn't have the child rearing to deal with daily... he was the Guy who went out and did his damn thing at his discretion... he was the Guy who wasn't all about his last GF having kids of her own that didn't belong to him... he is also the Guy who is missing out on the amazing Little people our Kids are... and although it may hurt a little along the way for our Kiddo's growing up, in the end he will be the one wondering where the time went and when his kids grew up... wondering who they are and why they are on with thier own lives as adults and not there for him when he may want or need them in his older years...

I have no regrets... My Kid's are MY PEOPLE... mad, mad, mad Love for those 2 girls

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Merin
... he was the Guy who went out and did his damn thing at his discretion... he was the Guy who wasn't all about his last GF having kids of her own that didn't belong to him... he is also the Guy who is missing out on the amazing Little people our Kids are...

he was also the guy you freely chose to father your children. he will be in your life and your future men's lives in some capacity for quite some time.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by Merin
IMO when or if a person could turn thier back on the people they helped create, then you had better stand the hell by with regards to what they would be capable of doing to you.

Merin .. I think you misunderstood my comment "The divorced men don't have the child rearing to deal with therefore when they date they might prefer a woman with no kids. "

I didn't mean to say that dead beat type of dads.. Even in the best cases the woman still bears the brunt of child rearing..

In "most" divorces the woman gets physical custody and the father can only see his chiildren once or twice a week.. normally every other weekend.

In those cases I stand behind the fact that the guy has it easier..Therefore he will look for an easier type of lifestyle in dating.

Hence a woman without kids..

See where I'm coming from ?

[Merin]

Originally posted by alphamale

he was also the guy you freely chose to father your children. he will be in your life and your future men's lives in some capacity for quite some time.

Did I ever say I didn't CHOOSE FREELY to have my kid's with him?
Nope I didn't... I also have ZERO regrets in having my kid's with HIM... my wee peeps wouldn't be who they are without his genetic make up... if he never gave me anything else, I am still grateful for the beautiful Kids we have...
Him (my EX) being in my BF's life... again alpha perhaps YOUR reality but nah not mine... my EX has been with his GF for over a year now and I have seen her ONE TIME, I never call his home, I never go to his home, I never speak with or see his GF and thats even though he now shares a kid with her as well (my kid's half sister)

His personal life with his GF is HIS, not mine. My personal life with my BF is MINE, not his.

Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall


Merin .. I think you misunderstood my comment "The divorced men don't have the child rearing to deal with therefore when they date they might prefer a woman with no kids. "

I didn't mean to say that dead beat type of dads.. Even in the best cases the woman still bears the brunt of child rearing..

In "most" divorces the woman gets physical custody and the father can only see his chiildren once or twice a week.. normally every other weekend.

In those cases I stand behind the fact that the guy has it easier..Therefore he will look for an easier type of lifestyle in dating.

Hence a woman without kids..

See where I'm coming from ?

I understand where you're coming from Fly, but yeah IMO it doesn't make it right or fair.
However life isn't always fair... and thats the way it goes.

My EXH def had it easier in doing what he wanted BUT still I am happier in my life and my choices then the ones he's made freely as well... sometimes doing whats *easy* isn't the path to what is going to make you happy in the end.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall
In "most" divorces the woman gets physical custody and the father can only see his chiildren once or twice a week.. normally every other weekend.

In those cases I stand behind the fact that the guy has it easier..Therefore he will look for an easier type of lifestyle in dating.

Hence a woman without kids..

I have met many women who have kids and are single moms that choose not to date or have relationships becasue they just do not have the time or inclination to do so. There are tons of them out there but you don't see them cause they are either at work, the grocery store, or at home. These women are totally cool by me cause many of them just want a casual sexual thing and nothing more than that

[DacaInaru]

These women are totally cool by me cause many of them just want a casual sexual thing and nothing more than that

I must be the exception to the rule.. I choose not to date.. but also choose not to get into a purely physical relationship.. something about having sex with someone who I have nothing emotional with is just a real turn off for me......

in terms of relationships.. as i've been dating lately.. none of the guys i've dated have met my child.. and none will until such point as I feel there will be something with them that might be long term.

For me.. when I date someone.. or get into a relationship.. all I ask is for the person to be respectful of my child and treat her nice.. my problem in finding someone is that.. I don't want anymore children.. and so far.. the guys I have met are looking to have a children..

I give up.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by DacaInaru
I must be the exception to the rule.. I choose not to date..

in terms of relationships.. as i've been dating lately..

make up your mind DACAINARU....are you or are you not dating??

BTW, there are truck-loads of single moms out there that just want some dude to take them out for a nice romantic dinner and some dancing and then just take them home and **** their brains out for hours. Then they want the dude gone by noon on sunday when the kids' father drops them back to her.

[DacaInaru]

what I ment to say is that I chose (past tense) not to date..

Now I am dating.. but I was celibate and single for a very very very.. long time..

sorry its the latina can't spell english issues that I have..

[Woggle]

I have no problem having sex with single moms. They are good for a nice lay but not good enough for a relationship. Many of them are quite good in bed as they have some experience.

[DacaInaru]

Originally posted by Woggle
I have no problem having sex with single moms. They are good for a nice lay but not good enough for a relationship. Many of them are quite good in bed as they have some experience.

sigh.. damn I am the exception.. can count on 1 hand the number of guys i've actually had sex with.. I feel like i'm missing something.

[Merin]

Originally posted by Woggle
I have no problem having sex with single moms. They are good for a nice lay but not good enough for a relationship. Many of them are quite good in bed as they have some experience.

LMAO So YOU have no problem having sex with a single Mom uh?

Freaking priceless....

Seriously you so deserve all the misery you're going to continue to find in your life unless or until you lose the bitterness and hateful approach.

BTW plenty of Women out there WITHOUT Kid's that are sexually experienced you can try and hit it with... you've already determined that the single Mom isn't good enough for you, so for real why bother trying to have anything with her even sexually.

My guess is the Women you meet may think you're okay to sleep with BUT not to have a real interest in as well... gee I wonder why...

[Woggle]

Originally posted by Merin
LMAO So YOU have no problem having sex with a single Mom uh?

Freaking priceless....

Seriously you so deserve all the misery you're going to continue to find in your life unless or until you lose the bitterness and hateful approach.

BTW plenty of Women out there WITHOUT Kid's that are sexually experienced you can try and hit it with... you've already determined that the single Mom isn't good enough for you, so for real why bother trying to have anything with her even sexually.

My guess is the Women you meet may think you're okay to sleep with BUT not to have a real interest in as well... gee I wonder why...

Actually one of my sex buddies right now is begging me to take it further. I tell her all the time what her role in my life is but she wants more. I might have to drop her altogether. She is great in bed but when you try to have a conversation with her she is very empty.