[7on]

Now my parents don't hate me. But they may be "really bad" parents. Not bad as intentional, but moreso "inexperienced." Sure they have 3 kids and sure they're all teenagers - 19, 18, 16. We're all really close in age so there was no time in between to "learn from mistakes." They seem to make the same mistakes with all their children at the same times. Anyway, I've even had it where my Mom was crying and actually said I was her best child. I tried to be. Anyway, my brother thinks they hate him because they let me go out and do stuff without giving them calls or anything. I said, "Dude, I'm ****in 19 - 2 months from 20 - and I pay for my own gas." Yes, that little spoiled brat doesn't pay for his own gas. Hell, I've filled up my mom's tahoe twice (~$34) just because I was driving it on a day that it needed refueling. Anyway, my mom and I did discuss about how she knew that he's going to do something bad in college because she knows that he'll be the type that goes out drinking. Well, i drink as well, but she trusts me because I'm mature about those things.

[curiousnycgirl]

I also had to face this reality - that mother hates me - about 9 years go. It was an amazing thing - I actually went to her therapist, in the hope that I could learn how to please/deal with her better. During our very first session he explained to me that I needed to face the reality that my mother had no love for me.

This was a very difficult reality for me to accept. I had spent my entire life trying to please a woman I could never please. She was physically abusive to me through my early thirties - and the emotional abuse continues.

As stated above with people like that - its all about THEM. What they want, what you can do for them, etc. To this day my mother tries to manipulate me, and takes whatever she can.

I am working with a new therapist to figure out how to continue to separate from her and to get rid of my need to please her - because the reality is, it will never happen.

My heart goes out to you, and I wish us all the very best of luck!

[tinktronik]

Hello claire,I have a mother who while im not sure hates me ,certainly has and does act like it.

As a child she was very violent ,beating up men in the front yard ,even once setting one of their cars on fire. Myself and my siblings were all subjugated to beatings with shoes ,not spanking but objects flying across the room.Spankings with electrical chords hairbrushes.Whatever was handy when she flew into a rage.I can specifically remember being asked did I do something and saying no ,which was the truth and being badgered about it and told I would not be punished if I "told the Truth" so I said yes just to be severly beaten.Everyone knew what was going on, you could hear her screeching obscenities at us from a block away.Many times my mother would move out ,into a new boyfriends place ,and "forget" to take us with her.And we were quite young at the time .We very seldom had groceries in the house ,we lived off of powdered milk and mac-n-cheese.This was all my older sister knew how to make.At a young age I was molested by a group of teenage boys and this continued untill an adult caught them at it and told my mother.She then told my sister to watch me closer and sent us back outside to play with the same group of boys.Maybe this was supreme laziness? Again my sister and I were being molested by a neighbor ,we told each other but what would the point be in telling my mother? Theese things went on sometimes worse but never better,untill we were grown .No one ever took us away or helped us when we saught out police ,social services ,teachers, guidence counselors.I was even as a juvinile arrested for hitting my mother when she was choking me.
As adults my sister still tries to stay involved with my mom ,visiting and allowing her to spend time in her home . I have phone calls every few weeks but my mother dosent know where I live and I do not attend any functions if she will be there.My brother is a drug addict and at 21 has already been to prison.
Her response is that she dosent know whats wrong with us kids ,we got to go to the amusement parks every year when we were kids.She will not discuss any of our childhood that does not have to do with amusement parks,for this was THE ONLY good ,and we went by ourselves .
I have finnaly come to the conclusion that my mother does not hate me ONLY HERSELF.Maybe you should seek counciling ,maybe as time passes the pain will become less.Either way I hope things get better for you.

i have a huge problem with my mother and i's relationship she constatley is mad at me for no reason and treats me like im the worls kid in the world when all i do is try to please her. everyday she blames me for her marriage problems with my dad and sometimes she even hits me and yells two inches away from my face i wish i were dead when she treats me like this, becuase all i ever do is try to make her happy and all she does is hate me!

well I have a similar experience. First I blamed myself. Than discovered it is not me. I was tormanted and was not sure why all this and why me?
Finaly one day I jusr realized that she is simple minded and cannot change that she is like this.

That is when I started to realize that I have my own life.

The most important think I learned is NOT to learn to hate.
NOT to learn to hate.
NOT to learn to hate.
NOT to learn to hate.

but to remain positive happy and fell your heart with joy and LOVE.

so Please forgive her......

Originally Posted by Clair

Now after all these years and many personal problems, searching my soul I realize, that my mother hated me, there was always so much anger, rage, hate. What did I ever do to deserve this? Nothing. I always thought, that deep down she loved me, may be she did, but it doesn't make the pain any less. Am I the only one who feels this way, or are there others with similar stories?

When after many years I realized that my mother was a fool, I got over it.
I cannot change hore I am willing to.
BUT
I will not change - I will keep loving and be joyfull - I refuse to learn to hate.
She will always reamain my mother but she cannot change and I cannot Change.

The most important is that I remain positvie, happy, caring and Loving otherwise one is ruined....

Honey, you are so not alone. My mom is the worst person I ever met, and that's including my abusive exboyfriends. She was psychotic and abusive, and the bitch has done enough to me - she is out of my life for good.

My promise is that she will NEVER see my child, if and when I finally decide to have one. I will not subject my child to what I went through. She thinks she owns me, but I hope Satan owns her. Go grab you a fresh one there, price of darkness. Payback's a bitch. Burn in hell.

I hope you hear this mom: **** you psycho bitch. I feel sorry for the others in hell when you get there.