WTF? What makes me sick about all these stupid porn discussions
It drives me absolutely up a wall that so many people are stressing themselves to death because their spouses want to look at other women. Why?
BECAUSE IT'S ONLY ABOUT APPEARANCE!!!!!
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
They should want ME instead of watching porn! I'm naked and waiting in the bed for them, they shouldn't have to watch porn! Am I not good enough? Not sexy enough? It's not fair!
"At what point in history class were you told, "You all have to be thin and pretty when you grow up."?"
Magazines, newspapers, TV, TV commercials, movies, etc. All of those put pretty, thin people on a pedestal. Yes, some commercials use ordinary looking people. But the big, successful, high paid stars are beautiful, handsome, well built, etc. That sends a message loud and clear. There are no fat, ugly supermodels, superstars, or super anything for that matter. It was nice to see that the overweight Studdard emerged from American Idol a big winner but if he didn't have a great voice he'd be dead meat. If you're fat and ugly, you better have something else really great going for you to carry you over the finish line.
At what point in history class were you told, "You all have to be thin and pretty when you grow up."?
Must we argue about this, Kevin? Women are slammed with this message way more than men are...and it is not a common thing that is verbally said. I will give you examples:
1) any lingerie catalogue
2) any commercial on tv
3) any tv show has thin women- we laugh at the fat ones and we dont drool over them do we.
4) how many diet ads target women and not men?
5) women in playboy that men love, they are thin, no? with big tits? why dont they have meat on them? cause its "not supposed" to be that way.
6) my mother, other mothers, daughters, sisters, etc talk about how "Fat they are" because its the common talk among tables with women at them.
No these are not direct messages but they are explicit in saying "photos of these types of women are everywhere and you, my dear, are an outcast if you do not resemble them. you must be part of the mold"...
which leads me to the onset of many eating disorders (including mine).
shall I go on.........?
I've posted this before....but I really think the problem comes in due to women assuming men attach as much emotional thoughts to their sexual viewing as a woman does.
To a man...porn and strip clubs are 'entertainment'.....nothing more. He may end up fantasizing to the 'way' a woman responded to sex in a porn film......but isn't contemplating having a relationship with her. Chances are....he doesn't really remember what her face even looked like.
Women are much more relationship oriented. Therefore, they perceive these women in porn as being a 'threat'.....rather than just a sex object.
However, if two people are in a relationship...she has a right to voice her opinion to him and work out a compromise. If she perceives it as a threat or a type of being unfaithful....the end result to her self esteem is the same. If a man loves a woman and wants the relationship to succeed....he would have to respond to her feelings.
I THINK the solution is for a man to find a woman who sees this issue the same way he does. If going with the guys to a strip joint once in awhile and watching some porn is part of his entertainment.....then he needs to find a woman who isn't offended by it.
Your spouse or significant other looking at porn can make you feel VERY, VERY inadequate. It's an unsettling feeling knowing that your S/O looks at other women to get turned on.
It's one thing (and personally OK for me) to watch porn together (to enhance the mood and/or use it as the "batteries") but it's another thing when he does it behind your back, and with you not included in it all. Then, it makes a woman feel very cheated.
Also, I can fantasize and masturbate just fine, but men seem to rely on the visuals more, which I KNOW men are very visual. Guess us women just have more of an imagination
I've posted this before....but I really think the problem comes in due to women assuming men attach as much emotional thoughts to their sexual viewing as a woman does.
wise words
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2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
Well, I must be nuts then because I thought folks were supposed to marry each other because they liked each others' personalities. Apparently, people think that their character matters little to their spouses and that their spouses will prefer strippers and porn to them because the spouses must only care abour appearance.
So have I got this straight: men only care about appearance and women should not be worried about developing character because it doesn't matter anyway? Oh, and that lust equals love so if a guy gets turned on by seeing a woman, that means he no longer loves his wife. Is that how it goes?
But the big, successful, high paid stars are beautiful, handsome, well built, etc
Interestingly, a lot of British stars - at least TV stars that I've seen - are perfectly ordinary-looking people. Crazy concept, what?
Guess us women just have more of an imagination
Not all of us.
Last edited by moimeme; 12th April 2004 at 11:48 AM..
well i was not nessesarily taught thin and beautiful= good. But as a fat child being 80-100lbs overweight, i was made fun of in school, not just verbally, but had things thrown at me, my personal things were destroyed, i was told to my face i was an ugly cow. It was great when i could just be ignored.
Then at home my fat mother would say mean things to my sister and i, every summer we went to stay with my grandparents and my grandmother would put us on a diet. So basically BEing fat was not acceptable and it was drilled into my head every fat day.
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In life the answers are always present, the challenge is to associate the proper questions.
Interestingly enough, if the shoe were on the other foot, and all of us women were looking at other naked men and had virtual sex videos to watch with men in them, all the men would be harping on here.
Unfortunately for us, that kind of stuff doesn't even exist for us women. If it does, I sure as hell don't know about it.
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