[TLHelton]

i feel like i wanna die too. my fiance left me 2 months ago.. all of a sudden. i cant eat. or feel like i can go on. this is the love of my life. i need him so bad. he wont even answer my emails or anythin as he promiesed. then come to find out, this is a hint in my mind he might be gay or bi or something. it scares me to death. most of all i worry if he ever cheated on me. he swore he never would do that...he said he would leave me before he cheated...so...maybe that's why he left. found some one else.

i swear he wont find someone who loves him as much as i do. ifeel so hurt and dead inside. i am thinking of gettin counseling...i just cant handle it. i want to marry this man. but beggin and pleading is gettin no where. i hope and pray to god, he will realize what he had...a great woman who will love him no matter what. i was the only one who supported him....loved him so much. i was always there for him. i am thinking maybe that scared him...he couldnted handle all the admiration and love that i have for him.


i pray to the lord he will come back to me...and love me like he did.....i feel all of you guys' pain. i dont think i'll ever recover. how can i give my heart, soul, and body to someone else..after whati 've been thru?

[tearsrfalling]

Dear TLHelton,
How are you? It's been over 2 months actually April 15th will be exactly 3 months since my BF broke up with me. I thought I would die. I actually wanted to die. This sitre and the people on it have helped me SOOOO much.
As you prob can read I didnt follow the no contact rule and I wish I had. I know that he thinks I am here waiting for him just beacuse of my previous actions. In all honestly I am, but he will never know because I know that did not get me anywhere. I still cry but not as much, I have surrounded myself with friends, lots of friends, I made new friends. A few of my friends also set me up on some dates, of course they didn't work but somemone was actually interested in me, they told me how pretty I was or just other things that made me feel good. I of course, couldn't even think about them and were not able to ever call them, but I did have at least an hour or 2 without thinking of my ex. Everyday is a struggle for me NOT to email or call him. I can come up with many stupid reasons to email me and I won't! I email of of my friends instead, I actually email what I wanted to write to him. My best friend just deletes them and writes back good girl, or something funny.

I received an email from my ex today, it was a joke to all of his friends. I was on the list. I guess he hasn't forgotten about me yet.


I still have hope, but the only way I can get through this and the no contact rule is to keep myself busy.

I am still hoping he will come back, but right now I am ok.


Keep yourself busy, I know it's easier said than done, but DO IT!!! It helps!!

[TLHelton]

i agree. i still cant think of him..now its been almost exactly 3 months. i love him so much. but like i said, he wont answer my emails. i just feel so sad. i cry when i hear his name or someone mentions him....i feel so embrassed and stupid. i gave everything to this man...this man i would marry. then he just..does that..and leaves with out anyemotion at all. yet still has my pic in his wallet! i just miss him so much. i pray and pray he will come back to me soon. realize i am the best he has and ever will have. it kills me though. how can i ever love again every trust again? i did meet some new friends...i try to stay busy. if i am not busy i start crying. i loveh im so much. i just feel like i wanna die. there is such a void...what hurts more is he has no emotion about it. him making fun of my cuz i love him so much...tellin me i will find better and stuff ... to just get over him! i wish i knew what happened. how can u plan to marry someone...give them a ring and promises..and just one day..say..i dont love u anymore. bye. and they dont even care if they see u again? how????

how can i hurt this much, and him ...the one who loved me to death once..just leave..anf forget.?

i made an appt. to see a therapist. maybe they can help. i just feel so much pain. i'm so afraid to like someone...cuz i'm still in love with him.....

--tera

[tearsrfalling]

Ok Here is some new news. If you read above then you know that me and my ex, wow I hate saying that word ex, have a mutual friend and she works at my company, well Friday is her last day. She emailed all her friends including my ex and invited everyone for drinks after her last day at work. Now all I can think about today is will he come, what will I say if he does. Should I go? Of course I'm going but my whole world just got all turned upside down. What if he just says Hi, will I be crushed? I don't know, but today is only Tuesday and I can't wait until Friday already.

I was doing ok until today.