[Dookie2004]

Updates:

Lets go deeper into the situation that I faced today....When I cut the corner she smiled at me when I said "there she is" <---I smiled back. Then she stopped and said "sorry I lost the note" and I was like..."you lost it?" she said "sorry" then her best friend started to say "I saw her write it" I was like "ok..." then I started to walk off and she was all like "aww" and she came up behind me and poked at my back I was fighting her off (flirting) and she got a hold of my wrist and seemed to be leading me away from her friend (I just realized this) and then she looked up at me, and she hugged me. I hugged her... so I think she might have been wanting to discuss something with me, but she couldnt get away from her friend....MORE UPDATE:::>She is now according to my MSN list they are together at either ones house because their name says both their names, each time I logged on they (she) didnt aknowldge I was online, of course then I walked off and my setting went to away or be right back. So I dont know, but more information for ya....this "friend" of hers, she hates her, and she really is a bad influence on my ex, she really hates this "friend", shes told me :P

But MARK MY WORDS PEOPLE! WITHIN THIS WEEKEND I AM CALLING HER, I AM TELLING HER how much I CARE....and I plan on getting her back but with her best friend there, Im holding out....its time to do this....Im a little nervous but I want her, I love her, I need her, I hope the feelings are mutual.

Please my e-pal wiseluv34 look over this entire passage of my first of this forum and to this last thing I type. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IS GOING ON, be very detailed because you seem to be the only person really willing to listen to me. I thank you, but dont let me down now, I need your opinion because what you say makes sense....make it as long as you like, infact take it to the distance. Go over what you think every angle of her action was meant to do, I know that might be asking alot....but you're being a big HELP

Thank You

[wiseluv34]

hey dookie, sorry that your ex didn't send you a IM on msn. sounds like her girlfriend has a big influence on her, like you said. to be detailed, i'd think that she (your ex) doesn't know what it is that she really wants. she seems confused.
she's not returning your note, she's not calling you nor instant messaging you online. sounds like the communication need to be spiced up, a bit.
in other words, one of you have to OPEN UP, and communcate. when you call her, or when she's "flirting" with you..just pull her to the side (gently), and ask her what's up? tell her your feelings for her, and ask her if the feelings mutual. and if her girlfriend isn't nice enough to leave you 2 in private...then just tell your ex's girlfriend that you need to talk in private, without her listening in...but be polite about it.
do your ex g/f's, girlfriend have a boyfriend? sounds like she want your ex to be single, b/c she doesn't have anyone. and if this is the case, then you ex need to wake up, smell the coffee....and spend more of her time away from her g/f, and be with you instead.
but, after you get your ex to open up and tell you how she's really feeling about you...then we'll have more info to go on. so, go ahead and communicate to your ex, let her know you want to be with her. and then, if she doesn't seem interested..you can go ahead and find a "new girl"..
GOOD LUCK, keep me posted

[Dookie2004]

You are right my friend; my ex's "girlfriend" has no boyfriend....infact..shes been single for quite sometime and she makes it clear! She shows it to just about everybody, always just talking about how single and lonely she is. And it makes even more sense that she would do this to my ex! How come it wasnt so clear, your right she is cutting this whole thing off. My ex tells me how much her little "girlfriend" makes her mad and is always trying to make her jealous and such, it makes alot of sense that she wouldnt let me and her get back together! and it would make more sense that shes doing her best to cancel out all my chances!

I can't do anything now though because now were on this Fall Break thing, so I have to call her up and tell her I want to meet somewhere but I cant do anything with her "girlfriend" around. So I guess I just have to be patient, but it just seemed so much like she was trying to lead me away. And literally she was about to open a door to the gym and take me down some steps to actually get us in a private area. But the door was locked and by that time her little friend had already zoomed in on us right there about a foot away from me.....Then my ex hugged me and started to walk off in the other direction and I went the opposite way. I need to really get some alone time with her.

And the confusion thing goes really both ways: I feel the same confusion, I dont know what to do, or exactly what I want. So if anything were both feeling the same thing for each other, but were being cut down. I think its time to get aggressive dont you agree? But to go in this full force and then loose it would cut me down hard.

But all signs do show its there in my opinion. This fall break is really cutting back on chances I have to spend time with her, a phone call is the only resort but my confidence is going higher, but it wavers from other people telling me that I shouldnt do it. But as I said all signs appear to be go, and I dont think there is a hidden agenda even though the "jealousy games" as I call it were kind of dirty and I didnt like that at all. Of course she didnt know I like her, and maybe she was trying to pull it out of me in that way....who knows.

May it begin

[wiseluv34]

i think this fall break thingy, is a WONDERFUL opportunity for you to spend some "quality" time with your ex. i think you'd be a smart man, if you would just let your ex know that her girlfriend is getting in the way, of your time together. she (your ex) should explain to her girlfriend, that she likes you and want to spend time with you, too. not just with her.
anyways, i have a best girlfriend of my own, and she would never try to pull me and my boyfriend apart. to be truthful, your ex g/f, need to check her girl....because it sounds like to me, that she don't have a true friend in her, at all. b/c true friends want only what's best for us.
dookie, go ahead and call your ex....get together with her ALONE, and get your feelings out there..don't tell her everything a/b your insides, just let her know that you desire her back. and let her know that her girlfriend is causing probs, with you and her getting together.
at least you will feel better, after you know if she still likes you for a boyfriend or not. b/c if your ex doesn't see you as a boyfriend again, you can easily just be her "friend", and move on to a new girl, who will probably not have you so stressed out! keep me posted

[Dookie2004]

Well this is very touchy touchy, but it has a fail safe. My past with her has been interesting indeed, I have shown you pretty much everything. But one thing Ive noticed about her, that when Im gone for a long period of time, she gets very emotional when I come back (another sign I take notice of) but my friends are telling me that I should wait this out for a bit without talking to her. According to them 1 week is enough time for her to miss me, and sense were not on calling terms, they say if she really wants me, she'll call me. I doubt this in many ways, when me and her first met she hid her feelings from me but still did all the things shes doing now, that she did then. Of course I hid my feelings in fear as well because of my previous ex destroying my life as I knew it to be but thats a different story.

Let me tell you details of our breakup so you have an idea of how kind of edgy I am.

We had dated for about a month, we were both extremely happy, she once cried at night saying she is so happy, I felt mutual. Were really just that good of a couple, but unfortunately it was summer when we began are dating adventure. I was off doing my thing, she was off doing her thing including a 2 week vacation. SO I NEVER GOT TO SEE HER, so that didnt help things. So I was starting to get a little doubt about not being able to see her, and so was she, it was mutual. So I was starting to fix it, and the night I was free finally I was going to finally get her free and come spend some time with me. THE BREAK-UP: My god if this isint the most confusing thing you have ever heard but bear with me. My friend was really making "fun" (best word I can put for it without any bad language) of my girlfriend (EX) I took up for her and made my defense very strong and he was silent, then I told him "she dosent like you anyway" (NOTE: this is a very important sign of proof he was tampering with something he shouldn't of been-continue) he said "why" I replied "she just dosent".

Well friends heres when you know your friend isint worth anything, he goes up to a girl named "J" (referring to her as J) and tells her all this stuff, well turns out "J" is my ex's cousin....uh o. Well "J'' goes up to my ex and they get into this big fight over me why me I dont know, I take it she did her best to defend me, but we were already having doubts about each other. And my ex did tell me she didnt like him, but the way it all seemed she took it as I was being unfaithful and going behind her back. Now for that key point, my ex says "Why did you tell "M" (referring to my friend) that I dont like him?" BAM<as you can see it was carried along down the chain of rumours and such, and there was a whole lot of stuff said that Im 100% sure came from this "friend". I confronted him about it, he denied it all.

Me and my girlfriend break up and she leaves me with the line "Lets take a break, and stay in touch, lets just be friends for a while, I want you to still talk to me, I just need time, things of that sort" and I was like "ok" but I cut it off there thinking it was over. But one REGRET I have is this, in all the confusion I didnt tell her that I was defending her from "M" and I said that just as a simple way of taking up for her. She probably took it as I betrayed her.

This happened a long time ago, (4 months ago at the least) so now you see how NERVOUS I AM, but people after writing this to you, I now just have a feeling in me, My God I miss her. Shes about as nervous as I am to start a relationship again, we were so perfect together, but cut down so hard.

But now Im feeling more the urge to talk to her about how I feel, and give her everything that couldnt. I once brought her to tears because I made her so happy, I find it hard to believe she can write me off. And as we can see her past actions show that she cant.

[wiseluv34]

all i can say now (i have to go to work), is that you and your "ex" need to FORGET the past, and move into the future. sounds like you 2 never communicate the way someone in love suppose to. you will never come together, if you 2 keep listening to your friends info. you and your ex, need to either communicate, and start over. or you and your ex need to just move on and forget a/b having another relationship, b/c it sounds like someone isn't serious. you don't call each other? what kind of relationship is this? if you LIKE HER, like i said earlier, then just be a man and let her know! it's easy as that, either call her or go by her house. just get it over with!
holla

[Dookie2004]

Well when I look at it, Im not really even sure what I want. Thats the reasons I havent called her, I dont know if I truly want to get this started back up again. Is it really worth it? You saw how she acted in the past, it could continue on with similar events if the relationship got started. My friends are telling me to move on and forget about her so there not helping me anymore

I really got to look at this, I can go on without her, I just dont know.....and I feel so on edge, its like all her friends are constantly watching me to see what Im doing. Shes got an eye on me in my opinion, and all those jealousy things, and all the ex g/f calling, is some of the most foolish stuff Ive ever seen in my life. Then another one of my friends pointed out the key fact of this that I looked over which also discouraged me: The guy who was hugging up on her and stuff, what if they were dating and Im just a rebound if they broke up (I doubt thats the situation, but its possible)

But seems like my friends are getting this major influence on me, they're changing my mind as her friends are probably changing hers. I hate this, but I gotta look at what I wanted in the first place before all these people started taking their opinions and shoving it in, I want her. Now if we follow the events she took, she wanted me, and I take it her friends also advised her to start up games and such (her friends are of that type she is not though, but she is easily bent out of her will sadly ) so now I gotta look at if this is a wise decision or not. Am I taking this too far?

I talked to her on MSN not to long ago, she was all excited to see me using "!" and stuff, then near the end of the conversation she started getting kinda pushy, so I put her in her place in a mean way, she was really being PUSHY. She told me Im a prick and she never wants to see me again, nevers wants to talk to me anymore, and she blocked me. I sat there, without a feeling at all, just waiting......10 mins later she came back saying shes sorry, and I apologized as well telling her "I dont want to argue with her", she said "yea I know I was just joking" Ive had her blocked again ever since, its been a few good days.

I dont know if I really want to do this...Its not fear, its common sense, look at the past!

[wiseluv34]

i agree with ya dookie, you should just forget a/b this girl. she sounds NUTZ!!!!! i mean, why is she calling you a prick? that is down right RUDE. if you ask me. i think you should go ahead and date other girls, are there other girls that you like? you need to just see your ex as just that...YOUR EX!
you just said that the past wasn't pretty, and if she's already showing you that she's still the "jealous" type, then YOU have to decide if she's worth it.
and if she's flirting with another guy, it doesn't sound like she's too into you. just find a nice girl, who isn't so drama material.
i don't think it would work if you and your ex got back together, b/c she still have her issues. so, what do you think? do you like her so much that you don't mind her calling you names? or do you like her so much that u don't mind her flirting with another guy? she sounds like she's just playing around.
to be for sure, i'd advise you to do what i told you earlier..GET TOGETHER WITH HER AND FIND OUT WHAT U NEED TO KNOW...LIKE 1) do she still have feelings for you? 2) is she just playing with your head 3) do she just like u as a friend?
GO FOR IT! ASK THAT GAL THESE QUESTIONS, SO YOU CAN MOVE ON AND FIND SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS YOU, b/c she isn't respecting you by going by what her friends say, and by calling u names and being rude and flirting with other guys.
she's probably just dating around, and you should too. don't be so serious a/b one girl, you're too young for that!! you're missing the other fish swimming in the sea..and believe you me...there's alot of fun testing the waters!
keep me posted.
p.s. i don't like going back to the past, and i never have....b/c i always write down the reasons why my relationship, with my ex....didn't work out. can u do that dookie? just write down the reasons why your relationship with your ex failed, and see if you want to continue with her from there. holla

[Dookie2004]

Your smart...Im glad somebody like you is answering this Forum thing I had my doubts about em'.

Time Line Of Events:

1. Flirting
2. Jealousy Games-she saw me flirting with another girl, she started flirting with this other guy as a counter in my opinion. (A sign of Desperation)
3. The Unusual Phone Call-what can I say about that? Only thing that made sense was that my (female) friend told me she wants to see if I will go back to my other ex.
4. The Flirting (again)-now this is signifigant because I cut her off completely, I didnt realize for how long, I had her blocked off for about 2-3 weeks, she missed me. And the guy who was once there is no longer, so thats another good sign.

But this is really crazy, did I mention Im taking Psychology and such, She is literally a very insecure and worry-some person (making that decision based on what I know of her and how she acts). And really this shows that I have been on her mind. Shes going through the same stuff I am and if anything hers is worse. I dont want to play games, I dont like this. But you are right, in order for me to walk on I gotta confront her about this. I thought playing dumb would be smart, trying to ignore like this is happening (just as she is) if I confront this head on she'll realize just how much has truly been going on. If anything she knows it better than I do.

Shes gone to a great extent to keep me there, am I just here on the sidelines? I need to stop making assumptions, truth has to be let out.

But all my instincts common sense shows that she dosent want anybody else to have me, and for her to keep me within my bounds I guess. My friend let me ask you, the Jealousy thing really bothers me alot if that didnt happen this would be so much easier. Why would she do such a thing? To pull out if I like her or not? my response for that was determination to walk on, and walk on I did, untill I fell back in. I can just keep on walking, but if you could please tell me as a female why would she do the "Jealousy Games" if I am to learn anything of this entire situation please let it be that so I can be more experienced.

And I need to confront her about how I feel, and I shall.

Assist me dear friend from Texas

[wiseluv34]

ok, you were talking with a girl...and your ex started doing the same, with a guy.
well, sounds to me...that your ex was "getting even" with you, she didn't like the fact that u were spending time with another lady, so she decided to get even and do the same by flirting with another guy, just to get back at you. to maybe see if you'd become jealous like she did. did u get jealous?
apparently, she was upset and hurt with you being with another girl. sounds like she do still want you, but just make sure that she isn't just doing this, to keep you for herself, while she have fun with other guys. b/c if she already has another guy friend, then she just want you to be by yourself, while she have her cake and eat it too. IF THIS IS THE CASE, MOVE ON AND FIND A NEW GIRL.
you must move on, if your ex is playing games with you, b/c someone will end up hurt again .
but first, ask her & find out if she wants YOU back, and if she keeps flirting with these other boys...then you'll know that she isn't serious about you.
let me know what she says. peace

[Dookie2004]

Did I get Jealous? O Yes I was Jealous I was tore all to pieces, I was hurting all over when I saw this happening. I just wanted to get out of it, my god it was awful so then I took steps to get out of it, but ignoring her completely for about 2-3 weeks. The pain was so bad, but I guess once she saw that I was gone she ended it and started flirting with me to pull me closer to her. (Theroy seems correct)

Now last night I got to talking to her, she was really being hyper and such, her friend was also in our conversation and they both started talking very pervertedly, of course I had to choose between playing along or just standing tall here. At first I took a stand then they said that there is something wrong with me, then I started to play along and they just kept on going with it......Me and my friends were going to go play some stuff, I told them I was going they told me "no" that I cant go. I was like yea Im going, then they started saying "please, please" and that they "love me" and all this. I was like "no you dont," and then I just left.

Things like that push me away from her, and really cuts hard on me wanting to tell her how I feel I mean how can I confront her when shes acting like that?

Pre-Reference: And I noticed earlier in this forum you were wondering why she called me a "prick" that was after I laid it to her. So the reason she called me that was because I got aggressive, it was a counter to my "strike". But as I said she came back, so I dont know anymore.

All I do know that unless I can get her in a calm mood I may never truly be able to explain to her how much I care. My friend keeps trying to tell me if a relationship is supposed to work it should just happen, I agree but when you look at my scenerio with my ex looks like were both scared SH*Tless. If I took the initiative Im sure it would work, but I keep waiting for the right moment ya know?

Also notice: She does not flirt with any other guys, there are guys around her. But I am the only one she hugs, the guy who was once there is no longer there. She hugs me everyday Ive seen her recently. But if she does start to do that, trust me I will cut it off.

[wiseluv34]

well cool, she's just into you sounds like it. that your ex only hugs and flirts with you, should be your Q.
all i can tell ya, is to just continue to take it slow and at the right time, it'll happen (just like your friends said).
just go with the flow!
you said that she called you a "prick", to get back at you? tell me, what do you do to upset her so much, for her to call you names? and why'd your ex and her g/f, say something is wrong with you? answer me that. ok? b/c IF SHE'S FRONTIN' YOU IN FRONT OF HER GIRLFRIEND, THEN SHE'S NOT THE ONE.
LET ME TELL U THIS; WHEN SOMEONE LOVE YOU, THEY WILL NOT TRY TO HURT YOU, THEY WILL POSSIBLY HURT U, B/C NOONE'S PERFECT....BUT IF SOMEONE LOVES U, THEY WILL NOT HURT U INTENTIONALLY. SO, IF YOUR EX IS MAKING FUN OF YOU, OR IF SHE GOT JOKES ON YOU, JUST KISS HER OFF, AND FIND A GIRL WHO KNOW'S HOW TO TREAT U, THE WAY U DESERVE TO BE TREATED. K?
plus, have you and your ex been intimate, since you've both started having feelings for each other again?
do u sleep at nights? b/c you seem very worried and confused.
you and your ex should communicate soon, and find out what's UP with the both of you. K? keep me posted.
holla back

[Baubles]

Dookie- I'm a 31 y/o female so maybe I can help some here....

first she's 15...when I look back at things I did/said w/ guys at 15- makes zero sense now, not sure if even did then?? when I was 16 I think i read in Cosmo that a way to really win a guy was to make him think you were on "the market"- so I hinted there was someone else...what?!?!?!?!

women, especially teenagers, get ideas that 1) avoiding a guy's call or letter or taking excessive time to respond makes them more desireable or 2) she's feeling insecure and tries to break it off so it won't fail (yeesh, I still do this sometimes!!!).

all in all, it's high drama and I'd say move on- except that's what is to be expected at that age.

have you asked her to prom? ask her to prom, enjoy her company- maybe in 3 yrs you'll still be together, maybe not...but just be patient and be her friend, at the least... in a year or 2, both of you may change alot...but enjoy her letters/calls and respond accordingly. the drama will start to fade with age...

[Dookie2004]

Dig in and enjoy the "drama" of this my god how much was going through my mind.

My friends were with me and we were sitting in a gazeebo like structure that I will refer to as the "pad". Well we sat there for a long time, untill the festival was starting to heat up. She told me she was going to be there I said cool and hope that I would see her there. While I was sitting there she was walking down the road, with another guy.....my heart sunk I was like omg this is going to be h*ll. If it was just me I believe she kept looking up towards the pad because we were on a higher level of ground.

Well anyway my heart sunk and I said its done, well my friends pointed out to me that shes playing me and that the whole thing is over. I agreed and wondered what I should do, they kept recommending I should go raise some h*ll. Thats not how I am, I sat back and just thought about what I got myself into. Well Im laying back and I ask them if my ex and the other guy walked by. They said the guy has left and they havent seen her.....obviously nothing was happening there, my hopes risen but were still a little down.

She walked on by and went onward up the road. Me and my friends went on a quest to go get some drinks at a distant gas station because prices were so high at the festival. On our way about to leave the borders of the festival, there she was. As were walking by she asked us what were doing we told her were going to this gas station we told her to come along.....she said she would catch up and that she has to tell her sister or she will kill her. We pretty much said "yea ok" and walked on. Now in the mist of this conversation she touched me for no reason....well legend has it that when a girl touches you for no reason its a small sign of liking the guy. (not thinking much of it I walk onward, I still had my mind set it was over)

We took the back route and got back to the pad with some 64oz. drinks (big) and sat down and hung out and some other people showed up and we just sat there for a good while. Now she was down below the pad once again.....and of course it seemed to me she was looking up there, I guess she was nervous to actually go up there but I looked at her and told her to come on up she gave me a look of "surprisal" and did this hand motion thing like shes trying to grasp me from a distance. She came up and sat with me somewhat close, and then after just a little chit chat she went her own way with her friends.

She returned later and when she sat down this time she was practically right up on me, we were very close I mean I was like "....." I also noticed her leg somewhat rubbing up against mine Im not sure if that was just me if it was her sitting close to me or if it was done on purpose. Well then we started to play fight...yea I know....so were kinda hitting each other and I got this thing I used to do to her back in the day referred to as the flip, a flirtatious gesture of just grabbing her and flipping her simple enough. I started that process and she rolled into a ball and I was way to tired to do it but it was all fun.

Well then her friend walk up her GET THIS!!!>this friend of hers is the same SAME girl who argued with her when we broke up!! I was like OMG, well she being the slut that she is, told my ex that she wants to go find some hot guys. My ex looked around the pad and pointed at each of the guys in there, including me........in a gesture saying there already here. And somewhat between the play fighting my arm was around her, she didnt say much of course she was around a bunch of other people she didnt know.

Well near the end of the night she left and before she went she told me bye and stuff, but I recieved no hug......that kinda shot me down somewhat, but she was in a hurry because her sister is very prone to get upset and such so she took off quickly down the road.

What does this night tell me, who knows Ill take advice from ya....but Im doing it again tonight, and we are planned to meet at the pad.....isint that interesting.

NOTE: She is very sad and angry she is saying that all her friends hate her, she that she hates them all. All of her friends are a very bad influence on her, and they are also probably keeping her very distant from me. Now Ive began to take the initiative to help her break away from these people. I think I will be successful but indeed I do know when to stop. But they really are hurting her bad and depressing her, she lives for them not for herself. Im about to save her, and to be honest if she was thinking for herself dont you believe me and her would be dating now?

Success is in the air, only tonight can tell I hope you give me advice before I head on out.

[wiseluv34]

hey, sorry i didn't get to give you advice b/f you headed out. i had to go to work! alllll evening, so i didn't have time to read my email. i just did read it.
ANYWAYS, how'd your evening turn out????
and as for my advice, i'd just say for you to keep 'hangin' in there, and being your ex's friend. you 2 seem to adore each other, that's obvious already, so just go with the flow..dude!
also, it's good to have fun and enjoy one another's company...you 2 are very young, and the future can hold alot more acquaintances for the both of you. so, just don't get too caught up "in love", because you need to SHOP AROUND, like "boyz 11 men" said, before you settle at such a young age.
let me know what happened on your evening out!!! JUST HAVE FUN!
peace