[MightyDuck]

Someone posted a message that is somewhat similar to mine by Roland. However, I think my situation is slightly different. I am in my late 20s and have been with the same woman for close to five years now. We have been living together for about one year and I consider our relationship to be very healthy. Lately, however, I have been attacked by compulsive thoughts of a break up and here's why.

I am someone who thought they'd like to get married young, and have a wonderful life after, yet I now find myself thinking that it is not what I want at all. Our next step together is obviously marrige, idea of which scares me a lot. I had only a few relationships before I met this girl and now feeling that I missed out on a lot of experiences and simple 'dating' scene. We became a couple right before I really got my independence, or started making money. I didn't give much thought about long term feelings, and thoughts when I initially got involved. We met and thought we were perfect for each other from every perspective. Family, religion, what we want out of life, etc. Now, 5 years later I find myself drifting away from all those things inside my mind. Half of mee feels like everything is fine and I'm simply looking for something that doesn't exist. In other words, if I'll be alone I will hate it, and miss her too much and simply end up back with her within a short period of time. On the other hand, I also think that perhaps we're at different points of our lives where as she is prepared for marrige, kids, etc and I am not. There is also very little comprimising that could be done on these topics.

What scares me the most is the fact that I am having these thoughts now. We're not even married, and I think about what it would be like to date other women. I can't imagine this would go away, I think it'll simply intensify ten years from now. I look around me and see divorce and break up everywhere. People in their 30s and 40s with kids that seemed to be perfect couples. I don't want to get married and be miserable like my parents who stay together for all the wrong reasons. I also don't want to get divorced with kids. Sometimes I think to myself that I should simply focus on all the positives we have in our relationship, but my mind still drifts off every other day to the thought of "what it would be like if I was single".

Please can someone have an input, especially if you've been in a similar situation. I can also answer whatever questioins can help you give me a clear advice.

Thanks in advance.