In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
hi im brent im aussie guy um i really think that with cultural background things can be different i have one south east asain friend and she is extremly shy yet addorbale and extramly nice and id give anythign just to kiss her once on the cheek but aisde from that u would find excluding personalities there are simarlaritues between one culture and differences between the other
Sweetie, while I am not professing to be the end-all be-all on the subject of interracial relationships with Asian men, I do believe that its not as common as other interracial pairings. Now, having said that, I'm a Black woman who dates a myriad of men. Personally, I have only dated one Asian gentleman in my life, and found that experience to be very rewarding. The difference in our cultures allowed us both to be very inquisitive about each other's backgrounds, which made every day something new for us.
With regards to women outside of your race not choosing to date Asian men, you ask "Is it cuz of the way we look", or because of the stereotype, I think its purely a personal preference, as are most choices in life. I personally find Asian men extremely attractive. As far as stereotypes go, don't buy into that. For every stereotype that you can "validate", there's one person out there to prove that stereotype wrong -- don't let yourself be brainwashed by the narrow minds of other.
Keep search hon -- the woman that you want will make herself known to you -- whether she's Black, Asian, White, Spanish, etc.
Originally posted by HotCaliGirl
Natural9, why don't YOU ever ask white women out??
Fear of rejection from the superior white race.
For the most part I don't chase no matter how good any woman looks unless her name is Sarah Mclachlan, then I would ask for her hand in marriage. If I find a women that just knocks me off me feet repeatedly over a period of time then I'll make the first move but that has only happened twice in my life when I was younger. It just happened by chance that I get asked out by mostly white women. I've dated a girl with a red mohawk with her sides shaved to the skin to a preppy blond that was taller than me by 4 inches. I don't think about race until it gets brought up by friends and family or this sweet thread on the disadvantage of the asian male due to small penis size and negative media image painted by the 12 Jews that control hollywood.
On a side note I also notice most american born asian women go after white men but I can care less, enjoy my white brethren and reap the rewards of the submissive delicate asian flower.
Last edited by Natural9; 22nd April 2005 at 7:08 AM..
Originally posted by monkey00
yes i agree it has some part to do with it.
My bro's experience is that NYC caucasian ppl are friendlier than the ones upstate or another state. me and him grew up in nyc, he went to college upstate, 96% caucasian attend school there, now he works in delaware...jeez the only asian guy working in his company. he's a big socializer also, but he tells me it's tough to make friends down there. plus the fact that once you get out of school, it is pretty rough to make friends @ work. ...diffferent age groups, and many of them settled down and arent looking to make friends...or just see you have a different lifestyle compared to them...
so i think the problem is that there are races that dont expose themselves enough to other races, which in part may make them not as open-minded to other possibilities of making friends/dating out of their own race.
I am a Asian guy and have grown up in a Western Country and I personally believe that it is a matter of culture more than it is actually race. I feel that I am in the middle of the two cultures. I only have really come to realise this as I have gotten older that is that there is a major difference between the way Western women get their guys and the way Asian women get there guys. On the other side of the coin Asian guys do expect different things from their women than Western guys.
I am originally from Vietnam and I will tell you some differences that I am aware of.
Women do not sleep with guys until they are married.
Respect comes before love.
Partners are very loyal.
There is no kissing public.
These are generalisations BTW and there are exceptions.
Some of the consequences of these beliefs are as follows:
Because women don't sleep with guys until they are married the women tend not to use their sexuality to get there guy. If a woman is using her sexuality to get a guy it is consider low and women who do use their sexuality to gets guys are general hookers or are women who sleep around a lot.
Guys in Vietnam are aware of women using their sexuality to get things out of them, like the hookers and gold diggers. If they aren't they are going to get screwed over and I mean royally screwed over.
If you are a Western woman trying to get an Asian guy you will general use your sexuality to get the guy because most women in Western countries believe that all a guy is after is sex. If you use your feminity instead to get the guy which I believe is different from sexuality then he will respect you and not view you in a negative way.
Respect is important in Vietnam. It is one of the most important virtues in Vietnam. Thus if a guy does not respect you he will not get involved with you because if he gets involved with a woman who is not respected people will not respect him. Thus if a woman behaves in such a way that people will not respect her then more than likely the Vietnamese guy will not get involved with her.
Some examples of behaviour that does not endear respect from people. Wearing clothes that reveal too much. Talking to guys in a disrespectful manner. Flirting with a lot of different guys. There is a whole list of stuff. The other side of the coin is that the Vietnamese guy will respect women.
Loyality is another big thing in Vietnamese culture. So women in Vietnam don't try to make their guys jealous and don't try to hook up with another guy while they are in a relationship and usually stick with the guy they have and generally will prefer to be alone and wait for the right guy.
No kissing in public. If you kiss in public people are probably going to come up to you and yell at you. So if your a Western woman and trying to get your Asian guy to kiss you while your in a public place, forget about it. It just isn't going to happen. Generally you would have to have some sort of relationship forming before you can kiss a girl and it isn't going to be in public.
As you can see there are a lot of cultural differences and I am just hitting the surface here.
For me personally I have lived in a Western country most of my life but I still think like Vietnamese guy although on the surface it may not appear that way. When I went back to Vietnam I really saw the differences more clearly. A lot of Western girls do try to get my attention and sometimes they wonder why it not working. Well it's all of the reasons above and more.
Really if I had to make one comment, Western women are much more wild than Asian women, hard to control and are not respectful of men. Getting involved with one is a big risk and a lot of trouble from the
Asian cultural stand point. Don't get me wrong though there are lot of great Western women around.
I am originally from Vietnam and I will tell you some differences that I am aware of.
Women do not sleep with guys until they are married.
Respect comes before love.
Partners are very loyal.
There is no kissing public.
Dude, what generation are you from??? You said you lived here most of your life but the things you talked about are the stuff that my parents would talk about. The younger generation living in the U.S. is nothing like you described. I've seen Vietnamese girls as kinky and crazy as any other races. I'm talking about college educated girls not some high school drop outs either. They might look innocent but believe me, they're not! And women do not sleep with guys until they're married? Oh please, even my most conservative friends do that. Their parents don't think they do but oh yeah they do...and Vietnamese guys are just like any other guys, they like sex just the same. They might be more discreet about it and they like subtlety. I actually find that kind of annoying. Asian guys appear to want respect and stuff but once you get to know them, they're just as horny as any men. It's all on the surface and superficial. I personally think white women don't want to date Asian men because a lot of Asian men aren't as tall as them, and unfortunately they're also are stereotyped as kind of feminine by society.
Originally posted by Veritas709
Dude, what generation are you from??? You said you lived here most of your life but the things you talked about are the stuff that my parents would talk about. The younger generation living in the U.S. is nothing like you described. I've seen Vietnamese girls as kinky and crazy as any other races. I'm talking about college educated girls not some high school drop outs either. They might look innocent but believe me, they're not! And women do not sleep with guys until they're married? Oh please, even my most conservative friends do that. Their parents don't think they do but oh yeah they do...and Vietnamese guys are just like any other guys, they like sex just the same. They might be more discreet about it and they like subtlety. I actually find that kind of annoying. Asian guys appear to want respect and stuff but once you get to know them, they're just as horny as any men. It's all on the surface and superficial. I personally think white women don't want to date Asian men because a lot of Asian men aren't as tall as them, and unfortunately they're also are stereotyped as kind of feminine by society.
Yeah, man true that the people who grow up in the west, who are asian, assimulate into society... Acutally I am a pretty wild guy... but the stuff I was talking about is the stuff that happens in Vietnam today... If you go there that's how it works there and when I was in my teens I had to work against my "natural instincts" at the time to behaviour like a western dude. Yes, I had to change alot of my believes and values but not everything changes.... some stuff is deep inside.
When I went to Vietnam. I understood what was going on there without anyone having to explain it to me. But I do agree with you, sterotypes do affect the dating scene.
But really I wrote that stuff to explain to people how different Asian people can be from Westerners. It needs to be said so people can understand the differences. Not all Asians assimulate into the country that they immigrate to. Some people assimulate a little and others assimulate completely. But if I explain both view points completely in all it's detail perhaps people can begin to understand the people who are in between.
I think this post is absolutely absurd. Of course there are women who like asian men. It's true that some women don't like asian men, that's life, however, on the flip side, some women just have never had any exposure to asian men so it's not unfair for them to have apprehensions. I would say interaccial dating in general is more common in cities. As for the disparity of out-dating between asian women/asian men I would say that it's a cultural issue. In western society guys who are sexually aggressive are seen as ladies men and studs while in the east sexually aggressive men are seen as perverts and womanizers hence the seemingly passive attempts of asian males (as some on this thread have suggested). What is seen as 'weak' in America may be seen as strength in Asia.........Just my thoughts.
I think this post is absolutely absurd. Of course there are women who like asian men. It's true that some women don't like asian men, that's life, however, on the flip side, some women just have never had any exposure to asian men so it's not unfair for them to have apprehensions. I would say interaccial dating in general is more common in cities. As for the disparity of out-dating between asian women/asian men I would say that it's a cultural issue. In western society guys who are sexually aggressive are seen as ladies men and studs while in the east sexually aggressive men are seen as perverts and womanizers hence the seemingly passive attempts of asian males (as some on this thread have suggested). What is seen as 'weak' in America may be seen as strength in Asia.........Just my thoughts.
Yeah, sure man! It may be absurd to you, but hell, they eat cats and dogs over there. So some things are ok over there, but in the west it's absolutely crazy.
Just because it's different doesn't mean it's weak. Asian people are almost half the worlds population.
Maybe this was already asked....this is a rather long thread..... but why does it seem that so many caucasian men hit on, date or marry asian women? This is just a trend I'm noticing....especially in the bars.
Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken
Maybe this was already asked....this is a rather long thread..... but why does it seem that so many caucasian men hit on, date or marry asian women? This is just a trend I'm noticing....especially in the bars.
b/c the asian women got money i now tons of WM going after em for $$$$
Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken
Maybe this was already asked....this is a rather long thread..... but why does it seem that so many caucasian men hit on, date or marry asian women? This is just a trend I'm noticing....especially in the bars.
Maybe cause asian females are percieved as being more "feminine". You know, sexier, more nurturing, more alluring, more passive, etc..... than western women.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Hybrid Mode
