[mmcrissy]

I don't know. My MM just left his wife. He's been married for 3 years(no children) I met him over a year ago. We started doing business together.
There was never any flirting. He never talked badly about his wife. Eight months later he kisses me...just a tap on the lips. In the past five months I have done the unthinkable... I've fallen in love with a married man. We haven't slept with each other. He thanks me for giving him the strength to leave this horrible marriage. He is a really great guy. I don't know if we have a future together but I do know that he is doing the right thing by ending a relationship which was doomed from the beginning. The bottomline is there is something wrong at home when a man decides to cheat. The question you should ask yourself is do you want to be dragged into this mess?

Originally Posted by Korine

Any ladies out there facing this situation? Falling in love with a married man? I don't know what should I do now.. leave him or carry on the relationship with him.. I am so confused...

I'm in the same situation. But I'm married also.
Met this guy 2 years ago and he literaly swept me off my feet. Can't go without him and can't forget him. All I think of is how to go on without being caught one day. The "good" thing though is that we live in different countries and we can only meet occasionally. However, we r online and on the phone almost everyday.
I don't know what to do either. I know it's wrong, but it's like a addiction that won't let go of me. The feeling is mutual, but with long marriage histories like ours, it's difficult to take the ultimate step for divorce.
I feel for u and the only advice I can give u is: follow your heart and enjoy it as long as it lasts.

I just landed here because I have been seeking a community to help me understand how I got to be the other woman. I have recently been pursued by a very seductive mm and am afraid i'm falling for him. I originally refused his approaches but ended up caving in. Now I don't know how to end things. The more I try to end things the harder he tries to win me over. And always succeeds.

We're constantly thrown together. We are both academics working in the same field, working on the same topics, going to the same international conferences, sharing the same small hometown. We never run out of things to talk about.

How do I get out of this one?

[whichwayisup]

You may want to join as a member, pick a username and then start your own thread...You'll get more replies that way...

Fight the feelings. Remember he's married and isn't going to leave his wife. The more you allow yourself to get sucked in, the harder it will be to detach from him, so please, really think about WHY you're allowing yourself to be involved with a MM. You deserve a man who will love only you...Do you want to always come 2nd or 3rd on his list? Does he have kids? Also, imagine his wife's feelings...Yeah I know he's the one cheating on her, but you don't want to be part of that betrayal...Think of all the consquences of your actions.

You just stay professional with him. Don't get personal or spend ANY alone time with him. Tell yourself is NOT AVAILABLE and you're not going to get involved because it will only end up breaking your heart.

Originally Posted by stupidHeart

i'm sufferring. Big time. I resigned from work, i don't talk to my friends anymore and i'm just so depressed right now. I suffer all these because Im in love with a married man. I am guilty coz I know it's wrong. I feel I deserve to suffer and that's why I don't demand anything from him and i kept every heartache to myself. I just wait for him patiently.

I did try to leave him. I did say goodbye. He stopped me, he said he loves me so much, he doesnt want me to leave. I know I shouldn't believe him but I can't ignore him. Some may not understand but if in your heart you feel you love a person, it's so damn hard to leave. Even if it cause you your identity, your happiness, still you feel it's gonna be worth it because you believe you love him.

I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm not even sure if I have a future with him. I know he won't leave his wife and kids. I know I'll be like this forever in his life. But still instead of thinking about myself, it is him that i think of. How hard it's going to be for him if I leave him. He always said, if it's not me, for sure he'll have somebody else so I should stop blaming myself and feeling guilty.

Someday i wish that i'll find the courage to say goodbye and never look back. I just don't have the courage right now. I'm just so stupid.

You are not stupid. You are in love. It happens. No mal intent, you know it's wrong then you find you're in too deep. I know because I am in love with a mm, have been for over a year. He was unhappy when I meet him and has talked about leaving her since the first day. He says such sweet and romantic things to me, he shows he loves me in so many ways, but I have such fear, doubt and jealously. It seems too good to be true. I am truly afraid that he won't leave her and that I am being lied to and used. But I love him sooo much that I cannot walk away. I have hope and I'll wait. I am lonely and missing him. He is 10 years younger than me. We get along so well. He said we were soul mates. He professes his love for everyday.
I feel lost and foolish too. But we aren't stupid because we love someone.

Don't. What you feel for him maybe love but don't go there if you do not want to get hurt at the end. If he really loves you, he needs to come to you clean -- no excess baggage. I do not know the whole story and I do not want to be judgmental but if I were you I will not allow myself to get into something that you might regret later on. I believe that all of us deserves to be happy and I believe that there are things that happened in our lives that we are not hoping for to happen. We fall in love with people that we are not expecting to and get into a situation that we sometime do not wanted to.

I hope you will think everything really seriously and evaluation what you really feel. I will pray that you get the guidance you need. Good luck.

Well let me have your views on this matter.I have been married for 8 yrs and having few problems.2 yrs back i ended up to an extent of Divorce.But then we decided to get back again as we have 7 yrs old son.Mine is a love marriage.Our common friend came nad tried help us patch up.After that we left the city and have got back to the same city again.I again met this common friend of ours ( who is no more my husbands friend ) on professional fronts.Later we got more closer and now we talk everyday all the time.We know each other completely.He is also married but has been having problems .We do advise each other on our marriages.We started as platonic friendship but i can be truthful enouh to accept that i find myself more comfortable talking to him.I have 11 yrs of age gap between me and my husband and somehow never been able to get across to him.He lives in his own world and always tries to redicule me.Whereas i am treated as aprincess by my friend.I know when i talk to him i am taking away his time from his family and indirectly making him cheat on his wife.I also feel i am also cheating on my husband and my son.But i find him attractive and somehow cant resist talking to him.He also says he wants to go out on a date with me.I am too confused .This friendship started as two lost sopuls and now we are the most involved souls and cant live without talking to each other.Am i wrong ?Is our friendship wrong?Can we love simoultaneously two people?Should i continue this friendship?Will it effect my marriage? Both of us just enjoy the moments we share and call this relationshipas mysterious one .Feel free to comment on this

I have read this forum and learned a lot form other peoples perspectives.
I have been with my mm for about a year now. I met him in paradise. It was just like Toby Keiths Song "Stays in Mexico". We were both on vacation. We found out we were from the same town and we were in the same profession. The entire 5 day vacation we were in candy land together. I found out the last day he was married for 35 years. The last day of our vacation he asked me if I wanted to continue back home and I told him no. For weeks I had him running through my mind. Then he calls my work and found me. We havent been away from each other since. He is my best friend. He is everything to me. I DO NOT want him to leave his wife. I do not a life with him. We are in love. The problem I have with myself right now is that I feel like I could do this forever. I know we can.

I thank everyone for thier posts. I know that in time I will move on.

I met this guy at work. he is not my boss, but I work with him a lot on projects.... and He is 12 years older than I am and we are both married....

the whole thing started when he went on a busines trip to Italy.. He imed me and told me he is all alone, and I am not there (I speak italian)....I thought that was cute... then he came back and gave me (only me) a label from a beer bottle that was a local brew from a town where I was born.... That was so sweet, i thought....

Then I went to Italy on buisness, he called me at 6am his time to check in to see if I was checked in the hotel.... I was so touched by his kindness....

I am buying him coffee and lunches whenever I get one.....because I started to like him.....

Then one time, he tickled my feet.... and he did it again a few days later... I put my feet on his chair between his legs..... instead of telling me that I am out of line.. he actually moved his chair forward and continued our conversation....

one time at the parking lot, I took his car keys away and won't give back to him, then he took my car keys and put in his front jean pocket... I have to put my hand in and fish it out....

I talked him quite a lot, espeically on the way home and i would call him or he would just call me and we talk about work and about nothing....

we finally took a business trip together earlier this year... he really took care of me (like carry my bag at all times....).... I was in his hotel rooms twice after midnight.... i did give him a back massage.. that's all... then he said he is going to take a shower and I just left his room....

I don't know what is going on.... I can't keep him out of my mind.... I felt like he likes me more than just a someone he works with...... What does he want? I am trying to resign my job and get his behind me.. but I can't.. I think I might be in love with him...

What do I do?

[animeangel]

But I'm in the same boat. I met my MM about 5 months ago, we worked at the same place and our apartments are less than a mile a part*he is seperated from his wife and they no longer live together*. We started out just as friends hanging out. Taking our kids out stuff like that. 2 months ago the relationship got to be more. I tried to take a month off of not seeing him, even switched jobs, stayed up at my moms for 3 weeks, but he didn't give up, he kept pursuing me.
I realized the other night, that I was in love with this guy. I can't help it and I can't stop it. I know that I'm probably going to be the one hurt most in this, but I think about him all the time, I find myself just going to the store in hopes that I see him. I wait for his calls, yeah I got it bad. Some people have told me I should feel guilty, but I don't as their marriage was already all but over anyway. It just sucks knowing that I can't get mad or jealous, when they do talk and all. And knowing that until he does get a divorce I won't be first.

[movinon05]

You guys really need to be posting your own threads if you want any responses from various people. It gets very confusing when there are numerous "guests" with no names and others who start posting their problems/situations in another thread. I'm only telling you this because your stories will get lost. If you're looking for help, try to copy and paste your problem to a new thread. Just a suggestion.

I feel your pain ladies. My situation started out a bit untraditional so to speak. My MM is married to a great lady, unfortunately she has gone through the change is done with sex. So, long story short, she has given him permission to have this relationship/friendship with me. We set the ground rules from the beginning. We are never together without her permission. The need I fill for him is obvious and I find the convenience of a steady lover great. I do not want a husband as I just got out of a bad 15 year marriage. We both acknowledge and understand that he loves his wife deeply and they are soulmates, we have unfortunately fallen in love each other on a different level, beyond friends. I feel it hurts me more than him, because he can home to his best friend and I am left alone. He has to deal with keeping two people happy. It's a very delicate situation.

Originally Posted by Korine

Any ladies out there facing this situation? Falling in love with a married man? I don't know what should I do now.. leave him or carry on the relationship with him.. I am so confused...

I fell in love with a married man and in life sometimes Love will only visit you full blown once or maybe twice.!

Many wives post here encouraging single woman to stay away from married men.
But the truth is ... if two people are happy ...the wife needs to understand that the other woman needs her husband and interfering will only drive them closer together!

Single woman go for it! I am happy and have lived with my ( marriedman ) and now husband for 6 years now!

Be strong and ignore the current wife, and happy hunting!

[RealityCheck]

Originally Posted by Nicole clark

I fell in love with a married man and in life sometimes Love will only visit you full blown once or maybe twice.!

Many wives post here encouraging single woman to stay away from married men.
But the truth is ... if two people are happy ...the wife needs to understand that the other woman needs her husband and interfering will only drive them closer together!

Single woman go for it! I am happy and have lived with my ( marriedman ) and now husband for 6 years now!

Be strong and ignore the current wife, and happy hunting!

Gee, finally someone who can look at this thing objectively rather than sitting and judging everyone's situation as the same!

EVERY situation in A's are different! Sometimes a person does marry the WRONG person for them and finds their true love in an A! That's life!

I know at least 4 people who have met in an A situation and remain together to this day and are very happy!

Granted there are some MM/MW who do play it as a quick fix kinda game, and I'm not so naive to believe otherwise. However, there are those who are genuine in their feelings and really would like to have the OW/OM as their lifetime partner.

[pricillia]

Originally Posted by Korine

Any ladies out there facing this situation? Falling in love with a married man? I don't know what should I do now.. leave him or carry on the relationship with him.. I am so confused...

don't do it it, tears to follow