I met a very nice man from an online dating site. We've been seeing each other a couple of months now and things are going quite well. He's very "normal" and definitely not bottom of the barrel as someone suggested here.
I met a very nice man from an online dating site. We've been seeing each other a couple of months now and things are going quite well. He's very "normal" and definitely not bottom of the barrel as someone suggested here.
Well, it's clear the bitter ones about it had little success when they tried it.
Well, it's clear the bitter ones about it had little success when they tried it.
Dont you find it strange for a guy to chat up women on the internet? When he can chat them up on the street, where he can see them and observe them? I mean guys tend to be more looks oriented.
Is it easier online because the possible rejection is not so public or personal?
Only plus I can see in quantity. You can email 100 women in a minute and screen them pretty fast too. But it just takes all thrill and romance out, doesnt it?
Enlighten me.
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Dont you find it strange for a guy to chat up women on the internet? When he can chat them up on the street, where he can see them and observe them? I mean guys tend to be more looks oriented.
Is it easier online because the possible rejection is not so public or personal?
Only plus I can see in quantity. You can email 100 women in a minute and screen them pretty fast too. But it just takes all thrill and romance out, doesnt it?
Enlighten me.
I shall try.
For myself, I have done both. I've met girls through work connections, friends, in social situations/clubs etc, and I've done online dating. My philosophy was to maximize my opportunities. My ex I met through a sports club, the girl I'm dating now I met online.
I saw it as a resource to meet girls when I didn't have the time or the opporunity to meet girls out in the 'real' world.
There are flakes on online dating, that is for sure, but you begin to quickly learn the signs and weed them out without wasting too much time or effort.
For myself, I have done both. I've met girls through work connections, friends, in social situations/clubs etc, and I've done online dating. My philosophy was to maximize my opportunities. My ex I met through a sports club, the girl I'm dating now I met online.
I saw it as a resource to meet girls when I didn't have the time or the opporunity to meet girls out in the 'real' world.
There are flakes on online dating, that is for sure, but you begin to quickly learn the signs and weed them out without wasting too much time or effort.
Thanks for answer. However you completely avoided my specifical questions
Dont you find it strange for a guy to chat up women on the internet? When he can chat them up on the street, where he can see them and observe them? I mean guys tend to be more looks oriented.
Is it easier online because the possible rejection is not so public or personal?
Only plus I can see in quantity. You can email 100 women in a minute and screen them pretty fast too. But it just takes all thrill and romance out, doesnt it?
Enlighten me.
Right, those questions...
Strange I suppose to be 'shopping' for a girlfriend online, but I guess - no stranger than me sitting here responding on a message board about this topic to a kind of creepy looking doll avatar.
And yes, guys are visual, which is why the attractive women on the sites get bombarded with messages from even Joe Schmoes.
And sure, rejection is much easier online. A guy can send out messages to girls without any real courage, and if he is rejected, it's much easier to take via an email.
As for the thrill and romance - well, it really just gets you in the door for that. You can still have all that once you meet and if you have chemistry.
Strange I suppose to be 'shopping' for a girlfriend online, but I guess - no stranger than me sitting here responding on a message board about this topic to a kind of creepy looking doll avatar.
And yes, guys are visual, which is why the attractive women on the sites get bombarded with messages from even Joe Schmoes.
And sure, rejection is much easier online. A guy can send out messages to girls without any real courage, and if he is rejected, it's much easier to take via an email.
As for the thrill and romance - well, it really just gets you in the door for that. You can still have all that once you meet and if you have chemistry.
Thanks and dont worry many people find it fascinating responding to creepy looking avatar
The online dating is probably not for me for reasons:
1. One has to invest lots of time to meeting those girls only to see that in real life there is no chemistry. In real world you can tell that immediately.
2. Online There is no moment of surprise and you cant take initiative....best weapons a guy can have.
3. Im sorry but I belive its sort of a cowards way of dating and even if one is not terrified of rejection....there is that stigma he may be
I met my ex on a dating site and we were together for three years and for a good deal of the time extremely happy together. Then again, he's my EX. I'm pretty dubious about the other people who I've seen on that same site, though...
I have tried it and from my experience a lot of people on these sites are single for a reason. There are a few good ones, though, and if you are willing to take the time to sift through the rift raff and become good at spotting who they are it can be worth it.
Thanks and dont worry many people find it fascinating responding to creepy looking avatar
The online dating is probably not for me for reasons:
1. One has to invest lots of time to meeting those girls only to see that in real life there is no chemistry. In real world you can tell that immediately.
2. Online There is no moment of surprise and you cant take initiative....best weapons a guy can have.
3. Im sorry but I belive its sort of a cowards way of dating and even if one is not terrified of rejection....there is that stigma he may be
Yes I tried and didnt like it for the reasons I wrote.
I also believe that the reason I tried it was my laziness really and curiosity of course. And eventhough I wasnt exactly desperate the motives for going the on line way put me in bottom shelf. If I was at top of my ability I wouldnt consider it an option.
I know there is a stigma about people who use online dating sites, but like I said previously, for every bad story there are good ones too. The reason I am thinking of it is because I dont like meeting men bars/clubs, I cant meet anyone through work because of the job I do, and my job doesnt leave me much free time to join a group/club to meet people, Im not a weirdo or a massive loner...just looking for ways to meet people, so if I'm doing that surely there must be other people on those sites doing the same thing? We cant just assume everyone on there is strange or weird.
There's no stigma about using online dating and it works very well.
Before the internet, dating agencies worked very well.
Some people can't bear but to meet other people except by accident. OK, no dating agency whether online or traditional will be acceptable to them.
For those who don't want to rely on accident, and/or who hate to spend hours every week hanging out on a bar stool, some kind of introduction service is unavoidable.
Would an accidental meeting or hanging out on a bar stool be a safer way to meet people anyway?
The process of online dating is simple. You screen people based on their messages, then on your phone calls with them. When you decide to meet someone for the first time, you arrange for it to be in a safe location.
Note. A woman should not give out her address prior to first meeting. A man on the other hand should always give his. This is not sexist but based on the observation that it's more common for men to assault women than the other way round.
If you as a woman have had to reveal your phone number, it would be good if the address corresponding to your number is unlisted.
The location for the first meeting has to be such that there is no chance of being assaulted at the location or afterwards -- e.g. while walking back to your car or to public transport. You want the location and your separation point to be extremely public. A female friend of mine was physically attacked at her car after her date (first meeting) insisted on walking her back to her car. The date attempted to have sex with her at her car in the car park. Perhaps you could meet at a restaurant and then arrange to go in different directions after? In other words, you don't allow the date to go with you to any isolated place. (Unless you have really hit it off!)
As a woman, you could also make sure that a friend or relative knows who you are meeting (their name and address), the meeting location, and what time you are due home. You could also discretely let your date know that someone has this information. Any man with honorable intentions will expect you to have done this and will not mind one little bit.
You will certainly meet a few very odd people at your blind dates but few will be a physical risk and that risk can be mitigated by keeping your address secret, meeting in a public place, making sure that you can reach your car or public transport in safety, and as the last resort making sure someone else knows who you are meeting and when and where.
Don't be scared. Plan for the worst realizing that the worst will almostly certainly not happen. Chances are you will meet a lot of eccentric/odd people, and you will have a good laugh with your friends about them later, and with a bit of luck, you will meet the love of your life.
Last edited by RA1; 8th November 2009 at 9:39 AM..
I decided to meet him, because it was obvious, from his emails, how freaking smart he was. He'd told me he had Asperger's and was into penguins before we met, so I wasn't too freaked out by the apartment chock-full of penguin paraphernalia....
However, after a couple of weeks, it became clear this guy had issues. He organized everything related to our relationship using various google-made tools (shared documents for keeping track of what we did on our dates, and how our physical relationship was progressing, some special features on google maps to keep track of where we went, and which routes we took to get there), he had me list out every ingredient I planned to use in dinners I cooked for him, not because he was allergic to anything, but because he compulsively needed to know....
I took him to a party, and he freaked out each time I left his side. He had never drunk alcohol, and I decided that was his problem.... but he was even more annoying drunk! For one thing, he wanted to measure the exact alcoholic content of his beer, so he could drink the appropriate amount of water, to stay hydrated. For another, as soon as said alcoholic content kicked in, he started telling me how hot my roommates were....
I left him at that party, and that was the last time I saw him.
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