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Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

Old 5th November 2009, 1:36 AM   #1
starrynights36
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New to LDR

Hi everyone! I'm new to the forum and figured I would introduce myself and give my little story.

I'm a 19 year old college student and I've never been in a relationship before. I'm a pretty shy and quiet girl so all of the guys I've ever liked, never noticed me. Sure it used to bother me but I had gotten used to it. My first semester of college was pretty decent and I was glad that I hadn't developed any crushes. When I was going to move back home for the summer, I expected my love life to be as it was before - nonexistent and dull. But, the night I moved back home for the summer everything changed.

For a few weeks I had been frequenting the anonymous chat site Omegle.com mainly for laughs at some of the trolls and occasionally a good chat. But that night I was connected with someone different. A 19.m.UK. I noticed something different about him....he didn't ask me to cyber or for my pic right away. We had just chatted. I can no longer remember about what but we had a good time. We wound up swapping msn messenger names and said we'd chat again sometime.

Again wound up being every single day but I loved it. We became fast friends. He made me laugh and didn't get sexual with me like most of the guys tried to do online. He just enjoyed my company as I enjoyed his.

We would talk for hours online everyday. Suddenly my summer wasn't so dull. Within a few weeks I felt this super connection to him. Something told me - this guy is special, keep talking to him and see what happens.

After just 6 weeks of knowing each other we began expressing our feelings for one another. We even began using "I love you". I had never used this with anyone before! I had never had a guy pay so much attention to me. It was all so new and thrilling. I loved every second of it!
About a week before the two months of talking mark, I was talking to him on AIM and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was shocked, excited, thrilled and just so happy. Of course I said yes! I finally had my first boyfriend!

Fast forward to now - we'll be celebrating our four months of dating in just a week and a half and we are just inseparable. There were a few weeks in August where he was on holiday with his family and didn't have internet, it was so devastating. It was like a big part of me was missing. That's when I realized, I have truly fallen for this boy. I am in love for real and I do not want anyone else.

This distance is a killer. I'm at school here in the US and he's at home in England. I plan to do a study abroad in 2 years for a year near where he lives and we can properly be together then. We're also hoping he can come here for a few weeks in the summer. So we have things to look forward to. Thoughts of the future keep us going.

My S.O [Person012345] and I joined this forum to meet others in LDRs and see how they manage. We hope to learn from others experiences and maybe even help others. Since the people in our lives don't really understand the whole LDR thing, we hope to maybe make a friend or two here as well.

Sorry this turned out so long. Thanks for reading!

Last edited by starrynights36; 5th November 2009 at 1:43 AM..
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Old 5th November 2009, 1:44 AM   #2
Person012345
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Hey, I'm the guy. Pretty much what she said. Don't expect me to text wall like that, I can't. I'm very much in love with her, feel the same way and I could never let her go. Anyway, as she said, I live in the UK, which means it's quarter to 6 and I haven't slept yet, so I'll be going. Sorry if this post didn't make much sense, I'll re-read it when I wake up (probably the afternoon now xD).

So hi to you guys, and goodnight.
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Old 5th November 2009, 10:30 AM   #3
Ecosse
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Hey guys...

Talk, and talk often... Ive been in a LDR for a little over 6 months and we talk every day for hours...

Some things that I also recommend is watching a movie together... can make dinner together... get creative

One other thing that needs to be addressed is and end point... My GF and I have discussed this and we have come up with a plan of our own... If you cant come up with a mutual end point then your chances are grim...
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Old 5th November 2009, 12:54 PM   #4
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Hi. Yeah, we talk as much as we possibly can. It's why I'm up until the small hours of the morning. We've also watched football games together. So I guess we're doing right there

By end point I guess you mean like, how we're going to end up? As she said she's in uni and will be studying abroad here (at Cambridge hopefully, not far from me). Well, if she likes it she will try to be coming over to complete her education, and maybe stay on here forever. We will be getting together properly then, for good, and then it depends on what happens after that, where the jobs are etc. I'm flexible, I will go where she needs. That is the plan. If things change we'll make new ones. I know I can't live without her, and she feels the same, so theres not really any question in my mind that we will be together. We will do whatever is neccessary to make it work.

Sorry about some of the details being not here, but we haven't discussed what we're going to tell in the way of personal information. We'll talk about it on IM tonight.
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Old 5th November 2009, 1:36 PM   #5
sunflower89
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*grins*

I'm a UK girl and my boyfriend is an American! We also met online. After about 6 months he visisted for a month and we've already planned a month long visit in Dec! THEN HE MOVEEEES!

I think 2 years is an awfully long time though--I hope you two are strong enough to get through it. Do you cam and such? And skype lots! Send letters and presents All that stuff makes you feel closer

I'm listening to my American sleeping on skype right now We're never really apart <3

Good luck guys!
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Old 5th November 2009, 5:39 PM   #6
starrynights36
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Nice to hear about someone else with an overseas relationship!

Two years is a long time but we figure it's a very small price to pay for a lifetime we want to spend together. (we're quite the romantics xD ) We certainly voice chat and cam from time to time. It really does help us feel closer together. I've sent him some snail mail, which I find a lot of fun.

Awww! That's adorable! We haven't done that yet. (A bit tough now since I have a roomie here at school but perhaps when I'm home...) I'll have to bring that up to him.

Thanks for the advice and warm wishes. Good luck to you guys too!
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Old 5th November 2009, 6:45 PM   #7
honeypear
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TIP's

I am in a LDR with a guy from the UK as well. Here are just a couple of things we found that helped us stay connected. We both got Skype on our computers and PS3 blue tooth headset ($29). We were able to talk to each other free for hours at a time. I know this may sound silly to some but we even set up a movie/date night. Rent the same movie put it in our computers or TV, call each other on Skype watch the movie together. His guy friends thought it was silly, but all of their wives soon questioned why they could not do something that romantic. With him being a fireman there were days we would talk from the moment we got up until 5 am his time.
On MSN you have games we used to hook up our webcams and play strip UNO.
Because for the most part your dating like this you have to have some type of normal dating practices.
The best part about Skype is that when he would get up in the morning he would leave me a good morning message, and I would leave his the night before.
I hope this helps somewhat.
p.s. I have noticed tht the guys from the UK are very sweet guys.
Good Luck
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Old 5th November 2009, 7:29 PM   #8
Person012345
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We do cam on MSN and Voice chat on AIM, but there's a little problem with that. Due to where I'm living we haven't got a landline, so I have to use some mobile connect thing which has a 5 gig limit a month. So we can't do that as much as we like. Plus there are a huge bunch of problems I'm having with the company. They keep cutting me off due to their errors, and they now won't let me change my debit account. "technical error". I believe I'm cut off now, certainly from the 3G thing I'd be paying for if I could (actually I already have and shouldn't now be cut off) but I'm using a GPRS mode. So idk. But this is rubbish. Anyway, now I've finished my rant I've forgotten the point. nvm.
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Old 5th November 2009, 7:35 PM   #9
honeypear
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How is the snail mail going with the strike over there?
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Old 5th November 2009, 8:50 PM   #10
Person012345
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I've gotten everything I know she's sent so far. tbh I actually haven't had any definite problems with this strike. Things seem to be arriving as normal. Now they've come to an agreement for the time being though, so yay!
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Old 5th November 2009, 9:32 PM   #11
honeypear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Person012345 View Post
I've gotten everything I know she's sent so far. tbh I actually haven't had any definite problems with this strike. Things seem to be arriving as normal. Now they've come to an agreement for the time being though, so yay!

Good. Next will be the firefighters going out on strike. Well you hang in there and if you need any advice just shout out. You should try organizing getting a house and moving in together long distance. It's fun.
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Old 6th November 2009, 2:21 AM   #12
starrynights36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by honeypear View Post
p.s. I have noticed tht the guys from the UK are very sweet guys.
Hehe yes they are.

Thanks for the idea of movie date night. Strip uno sounds very fun especially since I tend to win with Uno
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